Every month the NiceDay blog focuses on a certain theme. In August this was the theme “Processing life changing events”.
During our lives there will always be events, large or small, that we have to deal with. Usually, we can easily process these events on our own; it may take some time, but we are capable of doing it. Other events can be so traumatic that we need a little help. Would you like to read more about this subject? We have listed all recently published blogs for you:
Losing a job evokes different emotions; disappointment, frustration, sadness and anger. In her blog, NiceDay psychologist Maaike talks about her experience with losing her job. She explains how she dealt with it and provides you tips for coping with job loss.
In her monthly blog, experience expert Ghyta discusses her fear of life choices. Why is she so anxious and what does this do to her? How do you process this fear?
Feeling down or sad doesn’t always have to do with one specific event. There are many different factors that can affect how you feel. NiceDay psychologist Sarah discusses processing in a holistic way.
Emotions play a major role in our lives and processing emotions is an important process. When this goes wrong, we can suffer from it in the long run. But how does emotional processing work?
You have about 40,000 thoughts every day. Most of your thoughts are unconscious and it is difficult to process all these thoughts. One of the ways to slow down this flow of thought, is to write. But why is writing good for you?
Are you a perfectionist, but does it bother you because it gets in the way of your daily life? Then check out this article, it might be able to help you!
Mark was very depressed, and after his fear of falling short was confirmed by his wife, he lost all confidence and faith in himself. He shares his experience with help through NiceDay and explains how he processed his feelings.
Change, we often aren’t too fond of it. However, sooner or later we all go through big changes in our lives. How do you deal with this and how do you process these changes? Martijn explains it in his blog.
Sometimes finding your own way in life and your career just goes without saying. Sometimes, the next step needs a little more attention, for example when you unexpectedly lose your job. Ard takes you through the processing of such an event and the process of finding your own way.
When you experience one or more shocking events and / or if you have witnessed such a shocking event, trauma can arise. If a trauma is not processed, it can cause problems in dealing with yourself and others. But how do you deal with a trauma?
After nearly 9 years of marriage with his wife, he fell into a relational slump. He felt that he was failing their relationship and this was confirmed by his partner. He felt crushed. Mark* (40 years old) had lost his self-confidence. He became his own worst enemy, becoming extremely insecure and continued to spiral downwards. He eventually decided to seek help from NiceDay. We interviewed him about his experience with NiceDay.
Reliable and trustworthy
“I realized that I couldn’t solve this myself; I was depressed, I stopped eating, I didn’t go to work and I had no control over my thoughts. I started googling my problems and ended up on the NiceDay website. It immediately felt reliable and trustworthy. Partly thanks to the testimonials on the website, the different options of the treatment (chatting / calling / video calling) and all the information available, I felt confident enough to take the step to contact the NiceDay Team. ”
“They helped me quickly. The little bit of doubt remaining disappeared during the intake interview. They listened to me carefully: they asked what I was looking for and what I needed help with. They really take their time to find the right professional for you, and don’t just place you with the most available practitioner. Thanks to this they had made a good match; I had a very good ‘click’ with my therapist Sarah. ”
Online treatment
“Of course you have some initial doubts about online treatment, we all know Catfish (the well-known MTV show in which people pretend to be someone else online). But these doubts were quickly dispelled by the information on the website and the pleasant intake interview. Contact with NiceDay also felt very accessible. Taking the step to seek help outdoors still felt a bit big, I was still very confused and there was also a bit of shame involved. Using NiceDay I could simply take the first step to help from my own home. ”
“When something happened after/outside of our appointments, I could quickly open the app and send a chat message.”
Making contact from my own home was also a pleasant experience. I could calmly join the sessions from my own familiar environment, at the times that suited me. I have had psychological help for a burnout in the past. I had to travel half an hour there and a half hour back, then wait in the waiting room. Therefore, two hours was lost for just an hour of treatment. I also really enjoyed being able to contact my practitioner in between sessions. When something happened after/outside of our appointments, I could quickly open the app and send a chat message. My therapist Sarah did not work 24/7, but always responded! I’m not saying that the other form of help isn’t good, but I really liked this concept. ”
Relationship with my professional
“After the first conversation with Sarah, my professional, I already felt better. Sarah is an extremely nice person. She is professional, understanding and friendly. She listens carefully to what you say, absorbs everything, thinks carefully and then comes up with personal advice, which helped me alot. She had a good sense of what was going on and was brave enough to disagree with me; that was something I really needed. It was like talking to a good friend and her tips & tricks really got me through it. I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness and that it shouldn’t depend on others. Other people may certainly share and contribute to my happiness, but the basis lies within yourself. Sarah opened my eyes!”
Insight into your own thoughts
“In addition to the pleasant contact with Sarah, the NiceDay app and website helped me a lot. If I woke up with a knot in my stomach or with heavy thoughts, I could write it down in the app right away. Thanks to the chat function, I could always contact my professional, and using the notes Sarah had made, I could fall back on the tips & tricks that we had discussed in our previous conversations. I also used the ‘’Thought Record’’ a lot. When I felt bad, the questions that were asked allowed me to gradually put my thoughts into perspective. Completing this exercise showed me that it is not always all doom and gloom. ”
“I would highly recommend the NiceDay app to anyone who could use help. It is accessible, safe and it helped me! Even now I still regularly read the articles on www.niceday.app and I am very happy that I am back on the right track. ”
NiceDay
Mark received online help through the NiceDay app. Would you like to know more about online help via NiceDay? Click here for more information.
*Mark’s real name is known to the editors
It always seemed so easy: I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t want in life, up until two weeks ago. My body was shivering, I was breathing heavily and I wanted to hide for the “big grown up world”. From one day to the next, I was extremely afraid of making the wrong life choices.
Mapped out
Ever since I was a little girl I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. A lot of kids want to be a princess or a superhero when they’re little. I didn’t. I have always wanted to be a lawyer or a judge. Later in life this was specified to a children’s judge. The latter is still what I aspire to be in the long term. Having finished a Bachelor and Master study, my goal of becoming a children’s judge still hasn’t changed. The question that now arises is: what am I going to do in the meantime? With this question, a thousand worrying thoughts overcome me, and make my body and brains feel incredibly anxious.
Hiding
While I’m experiencing these uncomfortable feelings, I want to hide in my bed. I want to turn off my phone and calm myself down. When I start hiding and shutting off from the world, it’s a sign that I need to give myself some space. Otherwise, I could end up in a negative spiral again. Another sign is when I start worrying a lot, and with ‘a lot’ I mean every free moment I have. These worries are mostly about the recent choices I’ve made concerning my first “real” job, moving out of my student home and the future. These are all themes I have no control over. I notice that I’m struggling with this lack of control, which causes my anxiety to worsen. What helps in these moments are breathing exercises and comforting myself with the idea that there are no wrong choices. If I listen to my own intuition, everything will be okay.
Boundaries
During these moments I’m also confronted with my own boundaries. Do I choose to move on without listening to my own body? Or do I stick up for myself and give in to the rest that I need? Making these decisions is difficult, and sometimes it takes me a little bit longer to realise that I can’t just move on. Eventually, there will be a time that all anxiety’s emotions and physical discomfort will come out. Because of these emotional outbursts, I am reminded that I’m not a superhero. Sometimes I have to take time to rest, to remain mentally sane.
Love,
Ghyta
Ghyta regularly shares parts of her life in moving stories. Want to read more? You can find all her blogs here.
Each month we focus on a new theme on the NiceDay blog. In the month of July, this theme was “a new phase”. We all go through big changes during our lives, whether it’s the end of a relationship, taking on a new job or having a child. Some people love taking on new challenges, whilst others might dread it. Would you like to read more on this subject? We have listed all of our recent blogs for you:
Big changes can cause stress and anxiety. We all know that this can have a major effect on our mental wellbeing, but did you know that it can also have an effect on your skin? In this blog we discuss how that works and what you can do about it.
The corona pandemic constantly causes change, and every once in a while we find ourselves in a new phase. At first, we weren’t allowed to leave our homes, but now we’re slowly starting to find our way in our new lives. But what does this mean for physical connections? Sharlene discusses a new way of hugging: the corona hug.
In the first of two blogs, nurse specialist GGZ Daniëlle Coenjaerts, discusses the use of antidepressants. What is it exactly, how does it work and what does it mean for you if you’re planning on using them?
Anne is a psychologist and started to feel gloomy and insecure. She had been treated in the past, but started an online treatment via NiceDay during the start of the corona crisis. In this blog she explains how she’s experienced her treatment.
Change, new opportunities or challenges, new places: we often find it quite scary. But why do we dislike change this much? Why do new things make us feel anxious? NiceDay psychologist Wouter discusses it in his blog.
Evy was in the prime of her life, but suddenly had to deal with something she’d never felt before: she had a panic attack. She started her treatment at NiceDay and talks about her experience in this blog.
Each day is filled with new chances and opportunities. There is always a place for a new beginning! But how do you cease those opportunities, how do you get more out of your life? We have listed six tips that might be able to help you.
What will happen when you end your relationship? It can be a very stressful and anxious situation, also for the one who chose to break up. How do you move on after a relationship? NiceDay psychologist Sarah offers you some advice in her blog.
In the 2nd blog of Nurse Specialist GGZ Daniëlle Coenjaerts, she discusses what it means to quit antidepressants. How do you do this, what can you expect and what does it mean for you?
Corona has a huge effect on all of us and many feel like we are being forced to stand still for a while. Time standing still has caused a change in a lot of people’s lives: they have started to live more consciously. NiceDay psychologist Britt discusses it in her blog.
Change, loss, or large societal issues can sometimes be hard to process. In such a new phase, acceptance can help you handle the situation better. Read more about it in this article.
For a lot of people, new year is the start of a healthier life. But, you can choose that it is time for a new phase at any moment in your life. For example, when it comes to a more healthy and conscious life. Important is to make a habit out of healthy living. Here are a few tips that might help you with that!
The big “normal” no longer exists. There are many different ways to give substance to your life and there is no standard that you have to meet. It’s more about finding a “good match” than doing “something good.”
The night brings the past back to life. Pleasant memories float around in my head; a family party, an ice cream after cycling and birthday parties bring a smile to my face. Suddenly I am engulfed in loneliness. I become aware of my body in my bed. I kick off the heavy blankets and can feel the restlessness in my legs. No position seems to be able to calm them down. I turn on my side and softly sing a song. Then I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts drift off to you: what are you doing right now? Are you tossing around in bed, just like I am? Do you miss me, as I miss you? I close my eyes and try to clear my head. Slowly I start to sink away. My thoughts continue in my sleep and create a vivid dream, starring you.
Dream
It is dark out on the street. Only a few lamp posts are lit. I walk towards a house and before I know it, I’m looking through the window from a distance. You are sitting at the table with three others. It looks cozy. Someone looks up, I step back and quickly walk towards a wall. I hide behind it, hoping no one sees me. After a few minutes you come up. I’m trying to stay as quiet as possible, but you’ve already seen me. I feel small, scared, and sad. You get closer and put a coat around me. Then you hug me, causing the anxiety to slowly fade away. You sit down in front of me and start talking. I can’t hear what exactly you’re saying. I blink. Suddenly there are about eight people standing behind you, in such a way that I can’t leave. I am in danger, I have to get out of here; is what I think. The people around me are asking me a lot of questions in a threatening way; what do you feel, what do you think, come on then, say it!? I burst into tears and tell them that I don’t feel safe. At that moment, the people behind you fade, and you sit in front of me. You hug me again and make me feel safe. That’s how my dream ends.
Dream hangover
The moment I wake up I feel like I’m floating and disoriented. “Where am I? Where are you? Oh wait, it was just a dream.” Slightly disappointed, I turn around. I remember exactly what I dreamed, it just seemed real. I felt all the emotions and physical touches. It seems like a memory from the past, but it is only an illusion, however ‘real’ it felt. A dream like this stays in my mind all day. I have to write it down, I have to get it out of my system. I would like to share the dream with you, because you played such a big part in it. Thousands of thoughts prevent me from doing the that. I am ashamed because I know that dreams can’t be controlled. Dreams are, in my opinion, desires, unprocessed emotions or subjects that still play in the background. The brain has to process these things, which sometimes can cause vivid dreams. I experience it as energy draining, but also as beautiful because there are so many messages in these dreams that can help me further improve my mental development.
love,
Ghyta
Do you frequently have nightmares and want to get rid of them? Try reading the tips on this blog.
Evy is 18 years-old, studies Journalism and is in the prime of her life. At an unexpected moment, she experiences something she had never experienced before: she had a panic attack. Not knowing that was what she was feeling, she thought there was something wrong with her heart. However, physically there was nothing wrong with Evy. Shocked and advised by a friend, she created an account with NiceDay that evening. Read more about Evy’s experience with online help below.
Quickly contacted
“Because I was very shaken by my panic attack, I wanted help as soon as possible, but I lived in Tilburg and was still registered with my GP in Zeeland. I did not want to wait and beside, I did not like the idea of first telling my story to the doctor’s assistant and then again to a doctor. I was afraid this was going to take too much time and spoke to a friend about it. He told me about NiceDay, which he knew through another friend. Through NiceDay I was able to quickly get help. I downloaded the app and the next day I received a response from the NiceDay team. My intake interview was already scheduled for the following week. I explained what had happened and was linked to psychologist Sarah.”
Good connection with practitioner
“I felt a good connection with Sarah. All our conversations took place digitally. In the beginning this took some getting used to, but I felt safe with her and had no trouble opening up. During the conversations I felt heard and taken seriously and it felt like a safe environment to tell my story. ”
Advantages online treatment
“The advantage of online treatment is that it is very accessible. You don’t have to sit in a waiting room and tell your story to the doctor’s assistant first, then to the doctor and then to a psychologist. You can get help directly and for me there were no waiting lists. This makes mental help easily accessible. “
“At times it was confrontational, but very helpful, to gain insight into my thoughts. The trackers in the app allowed me to register my panic attacks, but also how I expected to feel in certain situations and whether I really felt that way. This helped me realize that things don’t always go the way you expect, it doesn’t always have to go wrong. ”
“It was also nice to stay active outside the sessions via the assignments or reading articles that Sarah sent me after each session. This allowed me to stay productive and reduce my stress. ”
Would you recommend NiceDay?
“I would definitely recommend NiceDay because it is so accessible. If you are unsure about approaching someone, or you don’t feel comfortable seeing a doctor, you can turn to NiceDay. You quickly get in touch with the NiceDay team and receive immediate help. I have experienced this as very positive. ”
Evy received online help through the NiceDay app. Would you like to know more about online help via NiceDay? Click here for more information.
Anne works as a psychologist. She noticed she started to feel gloomy and insecure, and started a treatment within NiceDay. Here you can read all about her experience with online help.
Curious
“I heard about NiceDay by a tip from my supervisor. He told me that it might be an interesting app to use with my clients. I got curious and downloaded the app to have a look. I decided I was going to use the app for myself and started filling in the diary and thought records. However, I noticed that using these records alone wasn’t going to help me enough.”
“It was the beginning of the Corona crisis and I, myself, had also started online sessions and video calls with my clients. The concept of online treatment was already becoming usual practice. Why wouldn’t I try online coaching? I registered and was linked to psychologist Sarah.”
Good connection
“With Sarah I felt a good connection. During our first session, I noticed that there was a good balance between her preparation of the questionnaire I had filled in, and the subjects she brought up. The questions she raised were in line with my own experience and knowledge. Sometimes, for example, she looked up information or articles about things I didn’t know, and then sent them to me to read.”
“Also, Sarah was able to add a critical note: “Maybe you have learned it this way, but is it actually true and does it really work like that?”. I appreciated that.”
Helpful usabilities of the app
“The thought records were very useful to me. Because the questions are asked step by step, you are guided through them. Of course you can think of those questions yourself, but seeing them step by step on a screen makes that it doesn’t have to come from your own strength. This helps you see things from a different perspective.”
“What I also like was that you always have the app with you. You may not be able to use it at work, but you can use it when you’re on your way back home. You always have it at hand.”
“The app made me feel like there was always someone looking over my shoulder. I agreed with Sarah that if I wanted her to read along with my thoughts, I would put her name on my journal entry. But even when I did not, I still felt that I was directing my thought to someone else. By using the app, I got the feeling that someone was looking over my shoulder, and was there to support and stimulate my self-development.”
Would you recommend the NiceDay app?
“I haven’t used the app for very long time, but have already recommended it to others. So yes, if I think someone could benefit from it, I would recommend it. I had a positive experience with the online help; Sarah really helped me to look at things from a different perspective. Because of Corona most of us are working online, so it is definitely good to ask for online help.”
Rosa received online help through the NiceDay app. Would you like to know more about online help via NiceDay? Click here for more information.
When the evening falls and my eyes are starting to feel heavy, I lift myself off the couch and head towards my favorite place: my bed. Ever since I was little my bed has been important to me. It stands for safety and security. I used to hide under the blankets, scared of monsters and burglars. When I got older my bed got another meaning: besides safety and security it gave me comfort. Feeling safe is a big topic in my life right now. I started asking myself with whom and where I feel safe, now that I am 25 years old. Did something change? Or do I still only feel safe in my own bed?
Where do you feel safe?
During multiple therapy sessions I have been asked where I feel most safe. In the beginning it took me quite some time to find an answer to that question. The only answer that would pop up was: I feel safe in my own bed. It was when I said it out loud that I started to realize. I felt sad that I didn’t feel safe while being with a person, but with an object. I thought something was wrong with me. Later I found out that it wasn’t the bed that gave me comfort, but the blanket. The weight of the blanket made me feel like I was being hugged. The warmth and softness of the blanket gave me peace and comfort and helped soften the pain.
With whom do you feel safe?
Two weeks ago I had another EMDR session. By the end of the session a memory came up. It was the Summer of 2016 and I had just returned home from a session with the POH-GGZ. I had told her about something that was extremely hard for me. Once I got home in my student home I burst into tears. I felt so much pain and sadness, but I was too scared to talk about it and felt so alone. To comfort myself I laid down in my bed with the heavy blanket wrapped around me. After telling my therapist about this memory she asked me the following: “If this were to happen now, who would you want to be with you?”. This time it didn’t take me long to know the answer.
I feel safe with you
I have said it so many times. With you I feel safe. At the same time my mind and my body aren’t on the same page. My mind keeps telling me that I am not allowed to feel safe with you and that I should ignore the feeling. My body on the other hand keeps telling me the exact opposite. I know where this battle is coming from. In my past there have been people that have violated my trust and therefore I am extra cautious when I start feeling attached to someone. I don’t easily open up to other people, only when I can physically feel that everything’s alright.
And that happened with you. I keep insuring myself that I don’t have to be afraid. That I don’t have to fear that you won’t treat my right. That the security that I feel with you is genuine and that I can trust my body on this. The inner battle is still ongoing and I accept that it is. That’s all I can do right now. There’s no use in fighting it.
Love, Ghyta
Find all Ghyta’s experience stories here.
Kelly experienced depressive complaints again. She has been treated for her depression before, with a regular treatment in therapists office. Now she started with an online treatment. We interviewed her about her experience.
Kelly, would you like to share why you started with online treatment?
“I noticed that I had depressive complaints again and so I needed help. PsyQ came with the option for online treatment via NiceDay. I could start with a online treatment much faster: otherwise I would have had to wait 3 to 6 months. With the online treatment I was able to start treatment within a month. I was already familiar with therapy and opening yourself up, but online treatment was new to me.”
What was the added value of online treatment?
“I actually used everything in the app. This way I kept track of my feelings and the number of steps I took in a day. My therapist had a good overview of me and of the world in my head. But I also had a good overview of myself. Keeping the registrations gave me a lot of insights. And it is easy to keep everything together.
With the app I was able to keep track of my thoughts, emotions and experiences. That really helped! I wrote about the good moments, but also the less good moments. I saw that on some days I am actually doing quite well. Because of my depression I felt I was in a downward spiral, but the overview gave me insight that I also have good days and that there is no downward spiral.”
What did you like about online treatment?
“I loved the online treatment via NiceDay. Especially since I could also send messages outside the appointments. That gave a lot of support. I didn’t have to wait for our appointment, but I was able to share something right away. My therapist responded to the message fairly quickly. The thoughts that my practitioner is easily accessible also helped me with my depression symptoms.
I have had therapy before. That was on location. To be honest I didn’t notice a difference. Only in the beginning, it takes some getting used to the video calling. But I was happy that online treatment save me time for travelling.”
Do you have any tips for people starting treatment online?
“I would say give it time. It takes some getting used to. Also because I always saw myself in the screen. But don’t immediately think, this is not for me. After a while you’re used to it.
Pay close attention to your internet Mb’s or try to sit where you have a stable internet connection. One disadvantage of online treatment was the internet connection, which did not always run smoothly.
Sit in a quiet room where you can focus. For example, make sure that no children are running around. I also had the little one walk around, but then the session runs less smoothly.
Be honest while registering in the app. You do it for yourself! ”
Would you recommend online therapy to others?
“I definitely recommend it. It is a good solution to get in touch with a practitioner faster. The app gives insight in your own thoughts and feelings and video calling felt as good as a regular sessions.”
“After every session I really had the feeling that I could continue with my life’’ – Laura
I have had sessions with psychologists before and I don’t think that it helped me as well as it did now. Most of the time I still had the same anxiety complaints and I felt distraught. The waiting time to start again with a new psychologist is enormously long and I simply didn’t have the time, because I was feeling at this moment.
Nervous
I started looking on the internet for help. I ended up at NiceDay and the website looked so professional and reliable. Actually better than I had imagined. I created an account. That went very smoothly. Still, I doubted the moment they would link me to a coach. Oh, I was nervous! ! Are my problems “bad” enough? But I made the step and I am very happy now!
My coach asked critical questions
I was linked to my coach. For the first time I had a young coach and I was a bit skeptical about her age. I always had the idea that an older person would have more experience and would therefore be better. In the end I couldn’t have wished for anyone better! Precisely because she was a little younger, she was able to empathize with my world very well. She asked critical questions. I have never had the feeling that I was so on par with anyone. After every session I really had the feeling that I knew how to continue. She listened very carefully and with good tips. I am very enthusiastic about NiceDay.
Do you also want to get started with NiceDay coaching or therapy? We love to help you!
