In the past month, I watched two documentaries that made a big impression on me. Both documentaries made me think about the Black Lives Matter movement, its motivations, and its impact. I have a black mother and a white father. Fortunately, I myself have never encountered discrimination or racism, and as far as I know, neither has my mother. It never occurred to me that other people with the same skin color as me, or my mother’s, often get discriminated against. I find it distressing to see that some form of modern racial segregation still seems to exist in the world.

Documentaries

Two documentaries made me understand better why the Black Lives Matter movement was founded. The first documentary I’ve seen is called “13th” and it’s about the 13th amendment to the US Constitution. This amendment includes the prohibition of slavery. The second documentary is called “Time: The Kalief Browder Story” and it is about a boy who, at the age of 16, spent 3 years in the infamous Rikers Island prison for a crime he did not commit. Both documentaries discuss the cause of the difference in treatment of black people by authorities in America. According to scientists and human rights activists, this can be traced back to slavery and the subsequent path to equality for all American citizens, regardless of their skin color.

Racism in the United States

Black people are still seen as “lesser” in America. In the past, there have even been presidents who have spread this message to the people. They took measures with the aim of reducing crime. At the time, it was quite a coincidence that more and more black people ended up in prison and became the victim of random searches on the street. The closing images of the documentary ’13th’ have stayed with me ever since. It showed images of black Americans, who have been shot dead on the street by the police, without any reason. Or of people that have been killed by police brutality. The last images consisted of photos and names of the black people who have all died at the hands of the police. There were a lot of names. Too many.

Sensitive subject

I notice that I find this a difficult subject to talk about. Still, I think it’s important that we all think about and look into why the Black Lives Matter movement is so necessary. Surely, you shouldn’t be treated differently in 2021, just because you have black skin? You shouldn’t be shot by the police, because you make a ‘suspicious’ move and also happen to be black. We all bleed the same and look the same from the inside. It seems as if certain parts of history are repeating themselves. I would so much like for my children to grow up in a world where everyone is equal. In a world where the color of your skin doesn’t affect how you’re treated. Because who cares?

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” – Martin Luther King Jr. 

Love,

Ghyta 

It has been over a year since the brutal murder of George Floyd. A tragedy that put the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement on the worldwide map. The BLM movement has been around for quite some time. It was founded in response to the acquittal of the man who shot 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in the street in 2012. The BLM movement grew after unarmed black men Michael Brown and Eric Garner were shot and killed by white cops in 2014. The BLM movement has increased worldwide awareness about the racism that still takes place today. Since the Black Lives Matter movement, I have started to educate myself about racism, and I have decided to speak up more often. For example, I wrote this article, in which I mentioned the following:

“We can no longer ignore or downplay the problem that racism is. It is time to talk about it on a larger scale. Racism is learned and that means that you can also unlearn it. Let’s educate and inform ourselves and the people around us. Let’s focus on solidarity, mutual respect, and equality rather than division, conflict, and hate.”

It is crucial to keep talking about these issues, not just when it is a hot topic. Don’t be afraid to speak up. That is why I would like to share some of my experiences:

Bias

My (colored) boyfriend and I can often be found on the terrace. On a hot summer day in July 2020 (shortly after George Floyd’s murder), my boyfriend, a girlfriend, and I were drinking beers on the terrace of our favorite pub. The waiter, a middle-aged white male, served us while also clearing tables. My boyfriend decided to go home after a few beers, and I stayed behind with my girlfriend. At one point, the waiter stormed over to us, after which he informed us that he had lost a few beer glasses. They were gone, just like that. We could understand his frustration and told him we felt for him. But, to our shock, his response was: “That immigrant friend of yours must have taken them. They steal all the time”.

How can you say such a thing? How ignorant are you when you still think like this, with everything that has happened over the past year? Full of disbelief and astonishment, we addressed the waiter about his behavior. Previously I would have left it at that. I probably wouldn’t have told my boyfriend about it because it’s just too painful. But doing nothing is also doing something. So I called my boyfriend and asked him to return to the pub. I had decided to educate and inform ourselves and our environment. And that is what we did that day.

Discrimination

My boyfriend and I like to socialize and travel. We love the sun, having drinks on a terrace, eating good food. Last year we decided to go to Milan. While I visited some shops, my boyfriend was walking around the famous and impressive Duomo. There he saw a man who made portraits of people. It would be nice to have a portrait of us both in Milan, he thought. The man wasn’t working on paintings of others at the time, and my boyfriend decided to walk up to him. To his surprise, the man didn’t make any eye contact and completely ignored him. Nevertheless, my boyfriend decided to ask the man how much it would cost to make a portrait. The man looked at him with a disapproving look and said, without hesitation: “No”. When my boyfriend told me about what he had experienced, I couldn’t believe it. It made me nauseous and filled me up with anger and sadness. How was my boyfriend supposed to feel?!

I was curious how the man would react to me asking for a portrait, and I decided to approach him by myself. We quickly made contact and I asked him how much it would cost to make a portrait. He happily told me: “For you only 20 euros!”. I became furious and almost had problems restraining myself. Instead, I signaled to my boyfriend, who then walked up to me. The man’s face instantly turned white and he quickly turned his back to us.

What did I learn?

The moral of the story, you may not be able to educate everyone, but it’s worth speaking out! Some may slam the door which can be very frustrating, but doing something is better than doing nothing!

Yet, I see a change of attitude, not only in myself (from passive to active reacting to racism), but also in others. I notice that more and more people dare to speak up when they witness racism or injustice. For example, last year, a lot of people on my Instagram feed actively supported the BLM movement. And, more often than not, you hear that people joined the protest against police brutality and racism.

I will continue to use my voice, will you be joining me?

11 procent of the Dutch population (16 years or older) has indicated that they have been a victim of sexual assault (source: CBR). That’s 1.6 million people. An alarmingly high number, the majority of which are women. Despite it happening not as much as to women, men also experience sexual assault. In addition to the general taboo surrounding sexual assault, men who have experienced sexual assault also feel shame about their ‘masculinity’. This is also the case with Bas*. For a long time he was silent about what had happened to him; for 15 years. He didn’t tell anyone until he decided to seek help in the fall of 2020. Now he’s opening up about his story.

Trigger warning: this article contains stories about sexual assault

My relationship

I’m more of a skinny type and have never really been a macho man. I work out, but have never focussed on working out to become more muscular. My girlfriend was really fit. She was a personal trainer and practiced martial arts, so she was a lot stronger than I was.

I have never been bothered by her being physically stronger than me. We even joked about it: “If something happens, you’ll be the one to defend me!”. We had a good relationship. One time, after a few glasses of wine, she pushed me against the cupboard during an argument. But, we talked about it and everything was fine after that . However, in the Spring of 2005 things were different. After we got into a fight at a party, I decided to go home by myself. When the bell rang some time later, my girlfriend was at the door. Things got out of hand and she eventually raped me. Shortly after, she left my house and ended the relationship via text message.

I didn’t even know this could happen to me

Rape… I didn’t even know a woman could rape a man. That was something I struggled with for a long time. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, afraid they would laugh at me. So, I kept my mouth shut. It’s true that sexual assault happens to women a lot more often than it does to men, but it probably happens more often than you think, because a lot of men don’t talk about it. My ex used to send me text messages, laughing at or insulting me. I was scared that she would come back, but I didn’t have the guts to go to the police. They probably wouldn’t believe me anyway, I’d be laughed at. I had extremely low self-esteem, I thought I was the problem and I decided that I had to put myself and my feelings aside. I threw myself into work and did so for years on end.

The confidence to talk

At work I developed a good friendship with a coworker. It was easy to talk to her and she shared a lot of her personal problems with me. She was a mentally strong person, which inspired me but also made me feel safe. We had a strong bond, so strong that after all those years I felt confident enough to share my story with her. Finally, I lifted some of the weight of my shoulders that I had been carrying by myself for all those years.

My story shocked her, but also the fact that I had been dealing with it by myself for such a long time. She advised me to look for professional help. I decided that I had been fighting this battle by myself for long enough. I have tried to fix it, but this was the time to search for help and so I did.

Eventually, Bas ended up at NiceDay, where he received treatment from NiceDay psychologist Maaike. 

Help from NiceDay

Maaike ended up being my assigned psychologist for an online treatment. Being treated online was not something that surprised me; we were in a pandemic and the whole world had moved on digitally. At first I had trouble talking about all the details, but Maaike quickly put me at ease; she asked the right questions and created an environment where I could be myself.

Using the app

During my treatment I regularly used the NiceDay app. Of course for my video calling sessions with Maaike, but also for using the diary or registering my feelings each day. Although it was sometimes difficult to write down my feelings, I was happy to be able to see progress. When I noticed the registrations became more positive over a longer period of time, I could see that I was making progress.

Don’t wait to get help

I’m glad I sought help and received treatment from NiceDay. I’m not there yet, but for anyone who struggles with mental health problems or has dealt with sexual assault, my advice is: don’t wait 15 years to seek help, don’t bottle up your feelings. If you think you are on your own, know that you are not and seek professional help. Bottling up or hiding your feelings won’t work. The feeling will remain dormant, it will not stop. It is not your fault and you should not be ashamed to seek help.

Help via NiceDay

Are you looking for professional help for your psychological complaints and would you like to talk to someone? You can follow an online treatment via NiceDay at various organizations, click here for more information.

*Bas’ real name hasn’t been used in this article, but is known to the editors.

The sky is turning grey. After only a few minutes, I see thick raindrops falling on the garden tiles. I’m staring outside. In the background I can hear a mix of the rain and the song “Rollercoaster”, by Danny Vera. A wave of sadness comes over me and suddenly everything seems out of balance. I am at the threshold of adult life, fear takes over my body. I feel like I’m losing control. A voice inside of me says: “I am the one who has to take back control, otherwise everything will fall to pieces.”

Overwhelmed

Adult life is quite overwhelming from time to time. There are times where I feel like I can totally handle this and everything is going well. A lot of great things are coming my way. I’m enjoying these positive experiences, but in the back of my head I’m afraid that I’ll lose everything just as easily as it came to me. It feels like the world is falling away from under my feet, for only the slightest things. At times like these I feel small and I ask the universe why this is happening to me. This goes hand in hand with different emotions: lots of sadness, anxiety and anger. I feel paralyzed. All I can do is cry and everything hurts. It’s making me sick. The vulnerable child inside of me is coming out. I retreat to my home base, in the warm embrace of my mother.

Confrontation

After four days I notice a shift in my brain. I slowly start seeing the ligth again and I convince myself that this feeling will eventually pass. My freinds and family are there to support me. They are so angry for me and hate seeing me like this. “Your time will come”, they keep telling me. I get myself together, take a long shower and let all the weight slide off my shoulders. I tell myself: “It’s not worth letting this get you down like that. Look around you, Ghyta. Look at what you have RIGHT NOW, not at what you don’t have (yet) or could’ve had”. The more I repeat these words, the more I start to believe in them. And that is how, each day, I wake up with a little bit less pain and sorrow.

It can happen sometimes that drastic changes can bring you out of balance. Time will stand still for a little while. It will hurt, but eventually you will have the choice to wake up in the morning, thinking: today I choose to live.

Love, 

Ghyta

Every month, Ghyta writes moving stories about her own personal experiences. Did you love this blog, and would you like to read more of her writing? Click here.

It was a day in April, 2017. I remember it was Maundy Thursday and I was lying on the couch. The TV was on, but I had my eyes closed because my head felt like it was exploding. I was feeling nauseous, dizzy and couldn’t properly stand on my feet. I had only managed to eat half a sandwich that day. It was the day after I started taking antidepressants.

Side effects

The start was tough. I had a lot of side effects; dizziness, stomach ache, fatigue, headache, tremors and the feeling of someone pulling my skin. Not everyone has the same physical response to antidepressants. Some only have a few side effects, while others have many. Despite the many side effects I experienced in the beginning, it didn’t occur to me to stop taking antidepressants. At that point, I had been in therapy for a year without any progress; it actually got worse. The worst side effects were gone after 1.5 to 2 weeks, but it took me a total of 6 weeks before I was completely free of side effects.

Effects

After about two months I felt the antidepressants were starting to take effect. The heavy gloom I once felt, wasn’t as present anymore. Going outside didn’t cause as much fear and I was able to follow my lectures a little bit better than before. Of course, 

antidepressants aren’t panacea, and taking them won’t immediately resolve your depression. In addition to taking medication, I was still in therapy. The combination of pills and talking with someone gave my head and body a little more rest.

Resistance

After taking antidepressants for about two years, I developed an aversion to the pills. I took them very irregularly and felt a lot of resistance to take them. It still isn’t clear to me where that feeling of resistance came from. It probably had something to do with me wanting to fight my depression and PTSD ‘by myself’. I went to my psychiatrist at the time and asked him if I could start tapering off the antidepressants. He said if I really wanted this, he would help me with this. My psychologist at the time, however, did not think it was such a good idea.

Eventually I started to reduce to 0 mg, which felt really good at first. But after a few months things went wrong. I was at my lowest again, was crying a lot and my thoughts took me to the darkest places I have ever been. the realisation grew that I needed the pills to be able to function somewhat normally again. So I started building up again, but this time the dose I had before wasn’t good enough. Only after raising it, I started to notice a difference. When I look back to when I decided to taper down my antidepressants, I now realize that this wasn’t such a good idea. I hadn’t even had the most severe trauma therapy, and wasn’t where I needed to be yet.

What next?

Today I still take my antidepressants. I am no longer in therapy, because that’s no longer necessary. I feel very good and am happy with the place I am in life right now. A few weeks ago the idea of ‘tapering down’ crossed my mind again. For now, I will see what happens for a few more months. If I feel that the time is right, then I will start tapering down again.

Love,

Ghyta

Would you like to know more about anti-depressants, the effects and how you can best taper down? Try reading “A look at antidepressants” of “Quitting antidepressants” by Nurse Specialist GGZ Daniëlle Coenjaerts.

Friendships can be beautiful and add a lot of joy to your life. But what if you feel insecure in a friendship? Is it still as beautiful to you? And what can you do about this? I haven’t found the answers to these questions yet, but I will tell you about my own experience.

Best friends

I met my best friend 10 years ago. She was a friend of my boyfriend at the time and we clicked right away. We could talk about everything and supported each other through thick and thin. It also didn’t matter if we didn’t talk to each other for a few weeks; it always felt natural when we did have contact again. This worked great for both of us. We did live quite far away from each other, so unfortunately it was not possible to meet up a lot. However, our bond was so strong that this wasn’t any issue to us.

Grown apart

Through the years we have seen each other going through new relationships and breakups. Once in a while we met up, but we did talk to each other daily via whatsapp. Still, even the contact via whatsapp started to disappear. I felt like she didn’t want to talk to me anymore and was too afraid to reach out. It made me insecure, so I decided to let it go. After all, I did have other friends around me that made it easier for me to deal with this.

Back in touch

After not speaking to each other for two whole years, my friend decided to get back in touch with me. I was so happy that she did that! We found out that we were both too insecure to reach out, afraid that the other might be angry or didn’t want to be friends anymore. But, eventually we were fine! Crazy that we had our thoughts ruin a wonderful friendship. I wouldn’t let this happen again!

Insecurity

Despite our good intentions, I notice that I am falling back into my insecurities. I love this girl to bits; she knows everything about me and I can talk to her about anything. But I am always the one that reaches out. I know she has a busy life, so that should explain a lot. But still I keep on thinking that she considers me as less of a friend, than I consider her. If not, she would be reaching out to me too right?

I also find it hard to see that she has made a new best friend the past year. I am happy for her, but what does that mean for me? That I am degraded to a regular friend, instead of her best friend? Does she still want me as a friend or does it only annoy her when I ask her how she’s doing? I keep having these thoughts more often lately. And to be totally honest, it saddens and hurts me. It even makes me a bit jealous.

The solution

I still don’t know what to do about this. I am aware that it’s probably best to try and talk to my friend and that I should tell her how I feel and ask her how she feels. But the fear of receiving a negative response makes me avoid the conversation. And even if she would comfort me, that doesn’t mean my insecurities will disappear. Because let’s be honest, me being insecure in our friendship isn’t her fault. It’s about me and my own insecurities, right?

Can you help me?

Do you ever feel insecure in a friendship? How did you or are you handling this? As you see I can still use a few tips here and there when it comes to this subject. So please don’t hesitate to contact me via Instagram (@anouk_van_ham) if you have any good tips for me! And when you’re there, follow NiceDay (@niceday.community) for your weekly dosis of positivity and mental health tips.

Thanks for reading and until next time!

Love,
Anouk

When you’re confident you dare to stand up for yourself and at the same time respect others for who they are. Building self-confidence isn’t always easy; a lot of people struggle with it. When you have a disability it can be even harder. I too am disabled and found it difficult to be self-confident. But why is it this hard for disabled people to build a good self-image?

Confidence

You start developing self-confidence at a young age, for example by having loving parents who support and encourage you. But also by having positive experiences with other people: classmates, friends or kids from your sports club, etc. Self-confidence is like a stone foundation on which you stand; every positive experience adds a stone, but negative experiences cause other stones to slowly crumble. Unfortunately, it is far more difficult for people with physical disabilities to build self-confidence. Sometimes we lack good experiences that contribute to that self-confidence, such as participating in a sports club or having a nice job. In addition, I have personally also had negative experiences.

How come I feel less confident as a disabled woman?

You might wonder what those negative experiences are, that happened to me and caused me to feel less confident about myself. You might think, it’s probably not that bad. Below I am sharing some of these experiences:

• You can feel that you are different from other people. You can’t do things that other kids can do. You cannot or may not always play and you often feel like you do not belong. As a child you are often approached differently by adults. Sometimes they favor you out of pity or good intentions. That often doesn’t go well with the other children, which makes you even more of an outsider and gives you the confirmation that you are different from others.
• Sometimes people talk about you as the disabled child. You can hear people say: “Isn’t it terrible, being disabled like that? Also for their parents! Imagine having a child like that, I can’t even bear the thought! Must be hard”. It makes you feel like a burden and that doesn’t have a positive effect on your self-confidence. This feeling is often confirmed by commercials about caretakers for example, saying how they should be supported with their hard work. You feel like you’re the ‘hard work’ they’re talking about.
• Your body is never your own. At least, not if you have a serious disability. You have to be washed and dressed every day. Physiotherapists and doctors, they all work with your body.
• You fall in love. But soon you notice that you’re not seen as a possible candidate for a relationship. You look different from everyone else and it seems like you’ll never get the chance to get into a relationship.
• You go to college and graduate, but people still reject you at job interviews. They even confuse your physical disability with a mental disability sometimes. Or, your physical ability asks for too much adjustment from the employer, which is too much of a hassle.
• It feels like you are not always appreciated. Many people do not know how to deal with your disability. They are shocked because you are different and don’t dare to speak to you. Or, they will go out of their way to prove that they have no problem with the disability at all, and aren’t afraid to bluntly say so.
• The hardest thing for me are people who act like they know what is good for me. Or people that do something for me with genuinely good intentions, without me asking for it. In those situations I have to be assertive in order not to get walked over, and I find that very difficult.

It is hard to be confident if you don’t have a positive self-image. You get fewer building blocks to build a good self-image and that makes it more difficult to be assertive in life. It’s not all doom and gloom; otherwise life wouldn’t be worth living. But it can be difficult sometimes.

A ghetto for people with a disability

In society there is also the idea that we have to feel sorry for people with a disability. In November 1962, a fundraising program was broadcast on Dutch television to build a special village in the west of the city of Arnhem. People with a physical disability could live in this new village, with adapted housing and an adapted infrastructure. The AVRO program was presented by Mies Bouwman and Dutch television viewers raised a total of twelve million guilders. They created a ghetto for the disabled.

In 1989 the NCRV broadcast the Dutch television program Drempels Weg; to raise money for people with disabilities. This action yielded approximately 5 million guilders. Fortunately, the approach of this program was different; its aim was to make existing buildings more accessible for disabled people. Through this program, the program makers did their best to genuinely show that people with disabilities also want to and can participate in our society. And that it is up to everyone to contribute to that!

Progress

Finally, on December 13, 2006, in the United Nations General Assembly, a treaty was signed that protects the rights and dignity of persons with disabilities or disabilities. It took until 2008 for the treaty to enter into force, but it was not until 2016 that the Netherlands started actually working on it. The great aim is that disabled people are allowed to participate in society. In any field!

A long way to go

But, there is still a long way to go. Every two years, The Support Fair is held in the Jaarbeurs in Utrecht. During this fair fantastic and innovative aids for people with a disability are introduced. All of these new developments would certainly benefit the emancipation of people with disabilities. But, unfortunately, practice shows that these fantastic inventions are out of reach for ordinary people. Disabled people are usually unable to afford these aids themselves and municipalities, which are responsible for this, go for the cheapest solution.

Help

It is very important that every disabled person has enough self-confidence to participate in every aspect of this society. That’s why I’ve taken the step to seek help; to work on my self-confidence, to discover that I can be seen, heard and show myself. Also to get an answer to the question “do a disability and self-confidence actually go together?”. This help has brought me a lot: every person, disabled or not disabled, has the right to be seen. And YES, self-confidence and a disability certainly go hand in hand.

NiceDay

Do you find it difficult to build your self-confidence, and would you like to receive some help with that? Click here for more information about online and accessible help via NiceDay

Feeling a bit sad or down, losing interest in going outside or in hanging out with your friends; maybe this is something you recognize, maybe not at all. A lot of people occasionally have to deal with periods in their lives where they aren’t feeling their best. Still for many, reaching out for help from a psychologist is too big of a step; “I’m not doing that bad, am I? I haven’t experienced any terrible or traumatic experiences in my life, I’m sure I’ll be fine”. Esther (30) did look for help and encourages everyone to do so: “Just a few sessions can already help you sort things out. It’s such a shame if you spend your time feeling this way, when it can really help to talk to someone!”. Read Esther’s experience story below.

I hadn’t been feeling well

For a few weeks already, I hadn’t been feeling well; I felt down, tired and didn’t have the energy to see my friends. I locked myself in my home, worked there and didn’t leave the house as much. Naturally I knew that things weren’t going very well, but I also didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t talk to my friends or family about my feelings. Probably because there is still a bit of a taboo around the subject. I’m not doing that bad, right? It felt so dramatic to look for help just for not feeling well. Don’t we all have days on which we feel a bit down? But, when my friends told me that they were worried about me and wondered why I didn’t talk to them, I decided to take the first step.

It’s probably because of the pandemic

I called my doctor to tell her how I felt. Because of the corona crisis, I wasn’t allowed to go to the doctor’s office at the time. So, my doctor scheduled a telephone appointment in which I had to tell her what’s going on. I found it really hard to describe how I felt over the phone. But, I told her that I didn’t feel well and that I felt very down and didn’t feel like seeing anyone. “Ah, but you’re not the only one feeling like this; a lot of people do! It’s probably because of the corona crisis, it’ll pass”, she told me. I’m not a pushy person, so I decided to leave it at that. “She’s probably right, it’s not that bad. This will pass”, I thought to myself.

What can I do?

But the feeling didn’t pass, so I decided to start looking for answers on Google; what can I do to feel better? I ended up on the NiceDay website and read about the app. I saw that with this app you can start working on yourself, by setting goals or registering feelings for example. This seemed like a great first step, so I decided to go with it. I started to register my feelings, and to challenge myself to go outside every day. But after a while I did get the feeling that it would be nice to talk to someone. So I started an online treatment.

It’s not at all strange you feel like this

I started my online treatment and was assigned to NiceDay psychologist Sarah. Before treatment began I was a little bit sceptical. How can a treatment via telephone be just as effective as a face-to-face treatment? And how can I express my feelings over the phone? However, during my sessions with Sarah I was pleasantly surprised. She understood me, comforted me and told me that it was not at all strange that I felt like this. That it is totally normal to have periods in which you don’t feel well, but that you can do something about it. She told me that she was happy that I decided to look for help, and so was I.

Online treatment via NiceDay

What I really liked about the online treatment is that it’s from my own home, my own safe environment. Sarah and I had our sessions via telephone (without video), which also gave me a sense of anonymity. I didn’t have to see anyone and could comfortably tell my story.

Next to that, being able to register some thoughts or feelings in the app before the start of our sessions, felt very good and effective. I would write about how I was doing, what I had been through or the things that I had to deal with. Sarah was able to view my registrations at any time, after which we could discuss them in our session. Next to that she made a summary of all the things we talked about, and then she would send it to me via the chat. The summary wouldinclude links to articles that applied to my situation and that I could read through.. These were short and clear articles that often provided me with useful tips and information.

Don’t wait too long to reach out

The talks I had with Sarah over the phone have been incredibly helpful and I feel a lot better now. If you are feeling down right now, please reach out for help! Look at the things you can do to improve your situation. It’s totally normal that you go through periods in which you don’t feel god, so don’t be ashamed about looking for help! You’ll notice that after only a few sessions, it’ll help you to sort things out. I would definitely recommend NiceDay; I actually already have!

Are you not feeling well, and would you like to know more about an online treatment via NiceDay? On this website you can find more information about the treatment, and how you can start it.

My name is Denise, I am 23 years old and I have been chronically ill for a few years. That means that I can be found in the hospital regularly. It is a place where I know my way around quite well. Yet I noticed that I was very dependent on others to go somewhere or to do things. Someone always came with me, including to my hospital appointments; I never did anything alone. During the treatment of my illness, this question came up: “Don’t you feel like it would be good to work on this, before we continue with the treatment?”.

Anxious

This question got me thinking. What if one day I can do everything I would like to do again, but I’m too afraid to do it? What if I finally feel good again, but don’t dare to take a walk and still stay at home? What if I find doing something on my own worse than spending my time sick at home? Then this might get in the way of my physical recovery.

The next step

Knowing it was time to do something about my anxiety, I made an appointment with my doctor. I was soon referred to the Parnassia Group and was told that I would be treated online. I found this a bit nerve wracking; I don’t find it very comfortable to talk to strangers on the phone. Still, I wanted to try and take the plunge. If I really didn’t like it, I could always request to see a psychologist face-to-face.

Video calling

I started my online trajectory and found out that I actually liked it. I found video calling a lot less scary than calling. Because you can still see the other person’s reaction and facial expression during the conversation, it quickly feels normal and familiar. It was almost as if I was on the phone with a friend.

Yet many people around me were curious whether it was not very impersonal, but I have never experienced it like that. In addition, I think it also helps that you are in your own environment; this makes it a lot easier to talk than somewhere in a random room.

Always at hand

In addition to video calling, I also made extensive use of the diary in my NiceDay app. I kept track of my thoughts and feelings, and it was a nice idea to know that my therapist was always looking out for me. After that,I started working with the Thought records. It could happen that I suddenly had a terrible panic attack on the subway, which is very annoying with all those people around you. But, I grabbed the app and started filling in a Thought schedule. I went through the questions, “What’s going on?” or “Why are you anxious now?”. That way I could try to calm my panic right away.

It’s going better

I am happy to say that I am now doing very well. I did have a relapse recently, but thanks to the tools I have been given, I can now deal with this. I can convince myself that I can and that I must continue. I still sometimes read articles on www.niceday.app. And if I am to have another relapse, I will just open the NiceDay app again!

Would you like more information about an online treatment via NiceDay? Click here for more information. Would you like to use the app independently? Of course you can! Click here to download the app.

‘This year will be our year!’, I can hear my boyfriend say as we toast with a glass of champagne on a new year. At that moment I felt and believed it. But, now that we are already at the end of the first month of 2021, I don’t know if I still believe it.

Looking back on 2020

Last year wasn’t a fun one for most of us. Fortunately, I have been lucky enough to graduate without any study delays. I have a job and I don’t have to be afraid of losing it and ending up in a financial crisis. Working in child care, I don’t have to work from home, which allows me to leave my home more often. Up until now, none of my friends or family have been seriously ill. Of course I miss having a social life, but I’m also an introvert, so it probably doesn’t bother me as much as it does others. I can say that I haven’t had it as tough as others, and I am very aware and grateful for that. I truly feel for the people that haven’t had this luck the past year.

The start of the new year

Very understandably, most of us were totally done with 2020. I was as well. Still, I have to admit that it was quite an anticlimax to celebrate the new year, in my own living room with just my boyfriend and my two cats. It’s not like I would’ve gone to a huge party, but it would have been nice to invite some friends over. It would’ve been nice to share this moment with other people, to hug my loved ones and kiss them on the cheek. To wish them a happy new year. But unfortunately, this wasn’t possible. It might be the new year, but we’re all still in a lockdown. Not much seems to have changed.

Our year?

That’s why I started to doubt whether 2021 would indeed be our year. Yes, there is a vaccin and that is wonderful. But it is going to take months for everyone to get it. Next to that, there are the several different mutations of the virus. I definitely do not want to be a negative nancy, but I do want to stay realistic and don’t expect too much of this year. My boyfriend and I had plans to make a big trip this year. But, the lockdown isn’t over yet and the vaccination process has only just started. I wonder if this will be our year.

Hope for the future

Besides all this, I am trying to stay positive. I try to enjoy the small things; such as the snow from last week, the (online) contact I do have with my friends and family or the little walks that I take more often to get some fresh air. I try to live in the moment and to be grateful for everything I have. That’s what can make this year a hit or miss. And you know what? I think 2022 will definitely be our year!

Tips for 2021

I hope that you can also try to remain positive, besides everything that’s going on in the world right now. Try to find your little moments of happiness in the small things in your life. Take a walk and enjoy being outside, this is really good for both your mental and physical health! Keep in touch with your loved ones, even though it’s only via social media or the phone. If you’re looking for more tips and positivity, you can follow mine and NiceDay’s instagram account! You can also let me know how you feel about the subject.

Thanks for reading and see you next time!