Laziness is seen as a sin and working is seen as a virtue. But is being productive all the time actually a good thing? Is it even possible to be productive all the time? It’s okay to be less productive from time to time, and in this blog I’ll explain to you why.

Times change

In recent times, a lot has probably changed for you in terms of work, (mental and / or physical) health and / or leisure activities. We cannot ignore it: we are not able to do as much as we used to.

So, with the pandemic going on we have some more free time on our hands. At first glance, this seems like a good thing. However, this is a bit more complicated, since more free time also comes with more pressure. “This is the perfect time to learn Spanish, to do self-development, to read that one big book and to do all those chores around the house.”. On social media, ‘everyone seems to be getting everything out of quarantine’, paving the way for even more negative feelings and even more stress.

The urge to be productive

The danger is that the urge to feel productive and to perform is linked to how we see and think about ourselves. It affects our self-esteem. So if we feel we are less productive or not productive at all and therefore achieve less or no success, our self-esteem will decrease.

In times of a pandemic things don’t work out as well as they usually would. But why is that bar still so high then? Try to be less strict on yourself. We often don’t feel productive, but have we actually not been productive at all? It’s easy to look at the things that have yet to happen, or the things that haven’t worked out. Instead of looking at the things that didn’t work uit, try to pay attention to the things that did work out! What did you manage to do today? What have you already achieved? Praise yourself for it!

Do something non-productive

Doing more isn’t always better, and doing something isn’t always better than doing nothing. I challenge you to do something “non-productive” today; without feeling guilty for it. For example, allow yourself to watch Netflix without cleaning up the house in between, making phone calls, arranging other things and so on. Allow yourself to respond to your own needs and forget about your schedule or to-do list. 

Tip: if you have the urge to do something for yourself, try to be very critical. Why do I have to do this right now? What will happen if I postpone this task? You will realize that you do not have to do it and that you are allowed to not do anything at all.

Tip: Create an event via NiceDay in which you allow yourself, for example, to do nothing productive for an hour and keep track of how it went on for you afterwards. Good luck!

We all spend more time at home during the pandemic. For those who live together with their partner, this means that they probably spend more time together than they did before. You would think that spending a lot of time at home together means that you have more time to have sex. What else is there to do, right? Well, in reality this usually isn’t the case and a lot of people have less sex during the pandemic.

Out of balance

Chances are that the pandemic has created major changes in your relationship. You probably see each other more often and have less time to yourself. You work together, cook together, eat together, hang out on the couch together and sleep in the same bed. There’s no longer a healthy balance between being together and having time to yourself. This disbalance often makes couples have less sex, and also decreases their quality of sex.

Feeling less attractive

Besides the disbalance in time, a lot of people feel a little bit less attractive. You hardly walk around in a nice suit anymore, and rather spend your time in comfortable clothing. It’s quite the achievement if you’ve even done your hair and put on a pair of jeans! Next to that, a lot of people have gained a little bit of extra (corona) weight. Nothing wrong with that! It’s not strange that you add on a few pounds during these stressful times, but for some people it could do something with their confidence. How you feel about yourself can influence your sex life. If you feel less attractive, you can be less open to sexual stimulation.

Stress

Stress influences your hormone levels. A result of experiencing a lot of stress can be a lower libido. For a lot of people, sex is last on their priority list right now. They might fear losing their job, or are worried about new corona measures.

Normalising

We’re all in a situation that has a major impact on our lives, more than we probably realise. So don’t be surprised if you and your partner don’t have as much sex right now, or if you notice that your libido isn’t as high. Just because you have less sex right now, doesn’t mean it will always be like that!

The amount of Covid cases in the Netherlands remains high. This means that we will have to continue to live our lives according to this ‘new normal’ for the time being. We work from home (when possible), stay at home when we have got a cold and get tested for Covid. But what if you fear the Covid test? What if you really have Covid? Do you fear the corona test? Then these tips might help you.

The corona measures

The guidelines given by the government are clear; you have to stay at home when you have a cold. This way you can be sure that you do not unexpectedly infect other people and ensure that we do not overburden our healthcare system. In this way we, as a society, can enjoy our freedoms again as soon as possible.

Easier said than done

But, now that Autumn has started, you will probably notice that it is a lot more difficult to adhere to the guidelines. Groceries have to be done, children have to be taken to school or you have to be at the office for an important meeting that cannot be done digitally. A (light) cold suddenly messes up your entire planning. Unfortunately, a cold can last for a week and a half and with a bit of bad luck you will have the next cold again by then.

The Covid test

The solution out there is that anyone with a cold can be tested for Covid by means of a PCR test. This way you will know within a few days whether or not you are a carrier of the virus and. If or when you are tested negative, you can simply leave your home again. The Covid test is a good option for many people. Staying home for a few days is practically manageable, so you can go outside again afterwards to do your shopping, walk the dog or take your children to school.

Fear of the Covid test

Unfortunately, not everyone dares to take a test. For some people, the idea of ​​a cotton swab going deep into your nose or throat is very frightening. If this is the case, it can cause you a lot of stress once you catch a cold. Either you have to stay indoors for a week and a half, with all the challenges that come with it, or you have to undergo a test that you fear. This is like choosing between two evils and is likely to cause all kinds of other negative emotions. You may get angry at the virus, the government or yourself because you feel this fear. You may also experience grief because you feel alone and powerless, and you feel that it is not in your power to solve this problem.

What can you do?

Talk about it

The most important thing you can do is talk to other people; admit to yourself and others around you that you’re afraid of the Covid test. This is not strange at all! It’s something you’ve never experienced before and let’s face it, no one is excited about a cotton swab in their nose / throat.

By talking about your fears, you allow the people around you to support you. Support is very important in dealing with negative emotions. Talking about it also gives you a clearer picture of what exactly you are afraid of. Someone might fear the outcome of the test, the other could fear possible pain or fear of having to throw up. Someone else may find the loss of control scary and for others it may feel like defeat to undergo a test, because testing means really facing the threat of Covid to our society. If you know what it is that you fear, you can talk with others around you to consider whether it is a realistic fear or whether it may be an unrealistic fear. Whether it is one or the other; your anxiety may not diminish immediately, but knowing that it is unrealistic it might help you to tolerate it.

Write it down

It can help to write down everything you fear. This doesn’t have to be a coherent story. You just write down thoughts that pop up in your head. By putting your fears on paper, you create a little bit more distance from them. It also helps you to be more realistic about the situation; is this fear really necessary or do you also have some unrealistic fears that you already know are wrong? Learn more about why writing is good for you in this article.

Prepare yourself

Read about the test on reliable websites. Do not search for websites that are not officially recognized to provide information on this subject. The uncertainty around Covid-19 scares many people, and the internet is full of personal opinions and ideas that arise from this fear. However, that doesn’t make the information true. Always look closely at the source of the information you are reading.

Ask for other people’s experiences

Ask people around you how they experienced the test. You will probably hear many different experiences. One thought it was nothing and the other thought it was very annoying. Do you realize that, even if people found the test very annoying, they can tell you what they thought of it; they survived the test! If they hated it, ask them about the benefits it has brought them. People tend to share mostly negative things and leave out positive experiences. You need all the information to be able to make a proper assessment for yourself.

Being scared is not the same as being in danger

Realize that feeling scared is not the same as being in danger. Sometimes you feel anxious in situations where there is no actual danger. For example for a visit to the dentist or when you have to give a presentation. Just think back to times when you have felt like that before; the fear always subsides. The Covid test takes about a minute. It isn’t very nice to feel very anxious during that minute, but realize that this is what it is; it is unpleasant. You are not actually in danger and it only takes a moment. Your anxiety will subside automatically. You can handle that!

Make the right decision for yourself

Try to make the right decision for yourself. You can write down the advantages and disadvantages of taking a Covid test, and also for not taking the test. By taking a Covid test you will have to face your fear for a moment. After you get the results, you will be able to go outside without having to worry! If you don’t take the test, you won’t have that brief moment of severe anxiety, but you will have to stay indoors for a long time, which also causes a lot of hassle. There is no right or wrong; choose what suits you. However, it is helpful to make a conscious choice and to not avoid thinking about it. Avoiding will only prevent you from executing both plans (testing or not testing staying home). By making a conscious decision, you can also think about how you are going to implement your plan and what you need. This way you can continue to take good care of yourself in a difficult situation.

Staying positive isn’t always easy. Especially when there are things that you usually love to do, but can’t do anymore. It’s something we all go through during the current corona crisis. Everyone will recognize that you miss certain things; such as having a birthday party, seeing your family, planning a nice dinner with your friends, going to a restaurant or dancing in a club. Since there is not much we can do about corona, it might be useful to shift our focus to the positive things in life. How will positivity get you through the corona crisis? 

Negativity

Our brain easily focuses on the negative. This can be explained from our biological predisposition. A long time ago, it was very important that we remembered negative events, because it increased our chances of survival. For example, it was good to know which berry would make you sick or which snake infested areas you should avoid. Although most negative things in our lives right now don’t affect our survival any more, the mechanism still works the same. This often gets in our way more than it helps us.

Focus on positivity versus negativity

The down side of focusing on the negative is that it affects how you feel. If you tend to focus on everything you can’t do, you will soon feel very limited. Every time you can’t do something you’d like to do, you’ll be incredibly disappointed. This can make you feel down, anxious or sad and can get you stuck in a negative circle. Nobody wants that! Luckily there’s also good news; you decide what you focus on.

Focussing on the positive works the same as focussing on the negative; like a spiral. Once you start focussing on the things you can do or the things that are going well, you’ll start seeing more positive things. This will also make you feel better; you end up in a positive vicious circle.

An example

Person A focuses on the negative: “Because of this stupid pandemic I can’t celebrate my birthday the way I would like to”. Person B focuses on the positive: “I’m so happy that I have so many friends with whom I would love to celebrate my birthday, that is true wealth! As soon as I can, I’ll have my birthday party”.

You could imagine that Person A feels disappointed, sad and angry about the situation. She can’t celebrate her birthday the way she would like to. On the other hand, Person B will probably feel grateful, happy and connected.

Practice

Shifting your focus from the negative to the positive won’t be done in a single day. Below you find several exercises to help you with this:

• Start a positivity or gratitude diary. Each day, write down what made you feel happy or grateful.
• When something negative occurs, ask yourself the following question: “Am I missing any positive sides to this event or restriction?
• Notice that you tend to give in to your negative feelings when something can’t be done? Try to realise that you are possibly focusing on the negative too much. Take the time to sit down and think about what could be going one. You won’t be able to find the perfect solution, but you might find a solution that meets your needs (having a connection with family or friends, having a good chat or having fun with others).
• Spend your spare time on the things you enjoy. Read a good book, write a letter, watch a good movie, go on a run, take a bath or schedule a self care day!). This way, your spare time will at least bring you something positive.

2020 has been a year full of change. A year in which we constantly have had to adapt to new measures and find our way around the (temporary) new normal. This is not easy for many people; missing the hugs from your family or the lack of nights out with friends still remains. But when you are quarantined with depression, this time can be even more difficult. In this blog I will discuss how you can prevent your depression from worsening.

How do you feel when you are depressed?

When you are depressed, you feel low and lethargic for a long period of time. You may also notice that you get less enjoyment from life. When you previously enjoyed a cup of coffee in the sun, it no longer feels very pleasant anymore. With the help of a psychologist you can find out if you are suffering from depression.

The vicious circle

When you suffer from depression you can experience many negative thoughts. Thinking negatively may have become a habit; you may not even realize that you are thinking negatively. This negative mindset can also make you feel more depressed. Because you feel low, you are less motivated to do things (for example daily exercise, household chores or maintaining social contacts). Because you feel less motivated to do things, you actually end up doing less. You then feel less satisfied at the end of the day and think negatively about yourself. This negative thinking then causes a low mood and this is how the circle continues. 

Breaking the circle

To break this circle, it is important to get active step by step (literally and figuratively), under the guidance of a psychologist. When you slowly start to move more and become active, it ultimately ensures that you also feel more active and that you are more active. If successful, you will feel satisfied at the end of the day and your self-esteem will increase. This is a gradual process; it is not fair to expect yourself to recover from depression in a few weeks.

Breaking the circle during Corona

Depression in itself is difficult enough. But what if you have to be quarantined during a depression? Then it suddenly becomes even more difficult to stay active. What can you do and what can you pay attention to (whether you are in treatment or not)?

• Create as much structure as possible, that means:

• • getting up and going to bed at the same time every day: make sure you don’t sleep too little or too much.
  • Structure in your diet: breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Preferably as healthy as possible.
  • Add daily exercise to your agenda. For example: a walk for 30 minutes every day at 10:00 am.
  • Make a plan for your other activities: fun relaxing activities and “musts”. For example: every day at 2:00 PM I clean up for a maximum of 20 minutes. At 3 p.m. I sit down with a cup of tea and a treat and I call a good friend. It sounds simple, but we often get energy from simple things.
• Avoid using alcohol or drugs to deal with your emotions: it may seem nice in the short term, but in the long term it often makes you feel more miserable.
• Limit the amount of news you receive: you can reduce your concerns or anxiety by watching or listening to reports in the (social) media less often. If you follow the news, rely on reliable information sources (the national government, the World Health Organization (WHO) or the RIVM).
• Talk about your feelings and don’t bottle them up. Stay in touch with people you trust: friends, family and colleagues via email and phone. Don’t forget: people like to hear that someone else is doing well and are happy to offer support.
• If help from the environment isn’t enough, contact a professional counselor. If you do not yet have a professional care provider, your doctor can help you find one. The general practitioner can also quickly provide the right kind of help and refer you to other care providers such as a psychologist.

Always take small steps in a depression. As I said, it’s not realistic to expect yourself to get rid of your depressive symptoms overnight. Give yourself time and ask for help.

Are you looking for help to deal with your depression or other problems with your mental health? Click here for more information about treatment via NiceDay.

The longer we’re in this lockdown, the worse the consequences seem to become. Perhaps one of the biggest consequences is loneliness. Now more than ever we are dependent upon ourselves: we hardly see our friends and family, don’t have a lot of pleasant (social) activities and new contacts can (almost) no longer be made. Loneliness in 2020 affects more people than ever. Recent research by the RIVM shows that 27% of the Dutch feel more lonely now, than they did before the corona crisis. Luckily there are a number of things you can do to help decrease the amount of loneliness in quarantine. In this article you will find some ideas!

Talk about it

Sharing your thoughts, feelings and information is an effective way to maintain your relationships. We’re all in this together, so sharing your concerns and feelings about the situation can make you feel less alone. Sidenote: it is also very important to talk about a different subject than corona. For example, reminisce about good memories you have with each other or organize an online drink or pub quiz.

Do something nice for one another

Doing something nice for someone else increases your happiness and the happiness of the other! 

What can you do?

• Make a video with a sweet message and send it to your loved ones
• Make Christmas packages
• Send a (Christmas) card to your loved ones
• Have you finished a good book? Pass it on to someone else! Nice tip: put a note in it with a sweet message.
• Do groceries or other chores for someone that is sick or more vulnerable.

Keep moving

The moment you stop moving, you will feel less useful, which in turn has a negative effect on the feelings of loneliness. 

What is it that you can do?

• Take a nice walk and try to bring variety to your walking route. That way you might discover new places!
• Try a different coffee-to go every week.
• Read a book (in the park maybe?).
• Try out a new recipe (double chocolate cheesecake?).
• Transform your home into a December-proof version! Did you put up the Christmas tree yet? Is the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling? Do you already have your extra thick winter socks ready?

In this blog you can find more useful tips on social events that you can have within the current corona guidelines.

We need each other, it is so important to keep looking for each other. Stay in touch with each other. Despite the 1.5 meters, there are possibilities! Do you feel like these tips and ideas are not working for you? Click here for more information about online help via NiceDay.

The corona measures affect everyone. You notice it at work, at home, while shopping or when you go somewhere. It has a major impact on our social lives, because you have to limit contact as much as possible (social distancing). As a result, birthdays and trips with your family or friends look different, l now that restaurants and bars are temporarily closed. At home you can invite a maximum of 2 people, provided you can keep enough distance. And all of this while social contact is very important. Fortunately, a little creativity can go a long way. So, how can you still have social events within the Covid-19 guidelines? Read on below!

Why is social contact important?

Social contact is important for your well-being. You can talk about what is going on in your life and receive support from your friends, but you can also laugh and act crazy with each other. Therefore, do make sure that you also have sufficient social contact with your loved ones in times of Covid, to prevent loneliness and social isolation. Below we’re giving you some tips and ideas on how you could organize your social activities within the current Covid guidelines:

• Online social contact, think of games, such as an online escape room, a quiz or cards against humanity. You will find much more online inspiration in this blog.
• Set up a vlogging competition with your friends and show it to each other online, with the theme for example showing your day or week, making a tutorial or something else fun!
• A fixed video call date to catch up with your group of friends if they are too large to get together, for example while cooking, having dinner or to watch your favorite series or movie at the same time.
• Invite a maximum of 2 friends at home (remotely) for a dinner, game night, movie night or a drink.
• “Eat out” at home by having a restaurant deliver a meal. Enjoy it alone, with your partner or with 2 friends. You also support the local catering industry!
• Do a real escape room with a maximum of 4 people. These are often still open! Make an appointment on location so that you don’t have to walk the street together in a group.
• Go outside and work out together with a maximum of 2 people, for example running, cycling, boot camp or inline skating.
• Visit a neighbor who you know lives alone and may be lonely, with five feet away of course.
• Going outside remains important. For example, go to the park in pairs, go hiking, fishing, camping, sit on a bench and you name it.

Are you self-isolating at home? Take a look at this article, with ideas on what you can do whilst self-isolated.

NiceDay

Regularly reflect on your social events in your NiceDay diary. Do you feel like you have enough social contact? Or are you feeling lonely? Try and think about what you need and plan some events that fit your needs.

After recently moving from the UK to the Netherlands, it made me realise how important and significant friendship had been in my life. I have had a lot of the same friends since school, and this was the first time I had moved somewhere new and not known anyone! 2020 has been a particularly difficult year for socialising. Therefore, we have all had to come up with new and creative ways to make friends and stay in contact with old ones. I can imagine there are many of us out there who have had a realisation the same or similar to mine! This inspired me to write a blog about friendship and its relationship with mental health.

Friendship

We all know that friendship plays a big part in our lives. Friends can support us in times of need, provide non-judgmental advice, make us feel included, keep us motivated, help us not feel lonely, and be a welcome distraction from the stress or fears we experience in life. But what exactly is the impact of friendship? And why is it so important to maintain your friendships, especially during covid?

Mental health

The importance of friendship has also been noticed by science. For example, researchers at the University of Virginia looked at the effect of having good friends as a teenager on their health as an adult. They found teenagers with good friends reported being happier, being better able to cope with stress while also having a higher self-esteem and doing better academically. Furthemore, these benefits seemed to last into adulthood with decreased reports of social anxiety and depression. Illustrating the importance of friendship on emotional and mental health, and indicating that the experience of bonding stays with us and has a lasting impact. Further studies have also shown that a lack of social support is a predictor for anxiety and depression.

Physical health

These benefits have even been found to extend to our physical health. This was shown by a study that asked people to talk about difficult issues in their life. They found that, those who talked about it when accompanied by a supportive friend, had a lower pulse and blood pressure. Directly showing how friendship can affect us physically. Social support has even been linked to lower rates of heart disease! 

Friendship and mental illness

If someone is suffering from a mental illness they may find it more difficult to spend time with friends. For example, feelings of anxiety can make social events seem threatening, and those with depression may struggle to find the motivation or energy to go to them. This can mean that friendships come under strain, especially when there is a lack of understanding. People often think that the friends don’t want to see them any more. 

Nonetheless, it is important to try to maintain friendships with friends who are struggling with mental illness. Try to take an empathetic approach and validate their feelings. Be understanding of their limits and requirements during this period. Furthermore try to support them in the way they want. If you are not sure, sometimes it can help to ask them how they want support.. This also shows that you care. But don’t overburden yourself, remember you are only human too!

Friendschip during Covid-19

With a major impact on both our physical and mental health, the importance of friendship cannot be underestimated! Having a good friend shows us how important it is to feel appreciated and accepted. This sense of belonging gives us a sense of security and identity. Because the pandemic has a huge impact on our daily structure and our social life, it is important that we maintain our friendships! It is precisely in these difficult times that you must keep trying to connect with people, whether online or in the real world. In this blog, psychologist Renée Lepoutre gives tips on how to stay social online!

Are you feeling lonely or want help connecting with new or old friends? Don’t hesitate to reach out for help! Click here for more information about online help via NiceDay.