After nearly 9 years of marriage with his wife, he fell into a relational slump. He felt that he was failing their relationship and this was confirmed by his partner. He felt crushed. Mark* (40 years old) had lost his self-confidence. He became his own worst enemy, becoming extremely insecure and continued to spiral downwards. He eventually decided to seek help from NiceDay. We interviewed him about his experience with NiceDay.

Reliable and trustworthy

“I realized that I couldn’t solve this myself; I was depressed, I stopped eating, I didn’t go to work and I had no control over my thoughts. I started googling my problems and ended up on the NiceDay website. It immediately felt reliable and trustworthy. Partly thanks to the testimonials on the website, the different options of the treatment (chatting / calling / video calling) and all the information available, I felt confident enough to take the step to contact the NiceDay Team. ”

“They helped me quickly. The little bit of doubt remaining disappeared during the intake interview. They listened to me carefully: they asked what I was looking for and what I needed help with. They really take their time to find the right professional for you, and don’t just place you with the most available practitioner. Thanks to this they had made a good match; I had a very good ‘click’ with my therapist Sarah. ”

Online treatment

“Of course you have some initial doubts about online treatment, we all know Catfish (the well-known MTV show in which people pretend to be someone else online). But these doubts were quickly dispelled by the information on the website and the pleasant intake interview. Contact with NiceDay also felt very accessible. Taking the step to seek help outdoors still felt a bit big, I was still very confused and there was also a bit of shame involved. Using NiceDay I could simply take the first step to help from my own home. ”

“When something happened after/outside of our appointments, I could quickly open the app and send a chat message.”

Making contact from my own home was also a pleasant experience. I could calmly join the sessions from my own familiar environment, at the times that suited me. I have had psychological help for a burnout in the past. I had to travel half an hour there and a half hour back, then wait in the waiting room. Therefore, two hours was lost for just an hour of treatment. I also really enjoyed being able to contact my practitioner in between sessions. When something happened after/outside of our appointments, I could quickly open the app and send a chat message. My therapist Sarah did not work 24/7, but always responded! I’m not saying that the other form of help isn’t good, but I really liked this concept. ”

Relationship with my professional

“After the first conversation with Sarah, my professional, I already felt better. Sarah is an extremely nice person. She is professional, understanding and friendly. She listens carefully to what you say, absorbs everything, thinks carefully and then comes up with personal advice, which helped me alot. She had a good sense of what was going on and was brave enough to disagree with me; that was something I really needed. It was like talking to a good friend and her tips & tricks really got me through it. I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness and that it shouldn’t depend on others. Other people may certainly share and contribute to my happiness, but the basis lies within yourself. Sarah opened my eyes!”

Insight into your own thoughts

“In addition to the pleasant contact with Sarah, the NiceDay app and website helped me a lot. If I woke up with a knot in my stomach or with heavy thoughts, I could write it down in the app right away. Thanks to the chat function, I could always contact my professional, and using the notes Sarah had made, I could fall back on the tips & tricks that we had discussed in our previous conversations. I also used the ‘’Thought Record’’  a lot. When I felt bad, the questions that were asked allowed me to gradually put my thoughts into perspective. Completing this exercise showed me that it is not always all doom and gloom. ”

“I would highly recommend the NiceDay app to anyone who could use help. It is accessible, safe and it helped me! Even now I still regularly read the articles on www.niceday.app and I am very happy that I am back on the right track. ”

NiceDay

Mark received online help through the NiceDay app. Would you like to know more about online help via NiceDay? Click here for more information.

*Mark’s real name is known to the editors

Does everything have to be done to your best? Do you feel like you’ve never done anything to a good enough standard? Do you avoid things, just because you think you will not be able to do them according to your own high demands? Does this make you unhappy? Does perfectionism bother you, and could you take it down a notch? Then this article might be interesting for you!

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is wanting to deliver a quality, solid piece of work. In itself, there is nothing wrong with that. But, just like with  many other qualities you can push perfectionism too far. If you feel that your best is never enough, and that you should try even harder making you unhappy, then your perfectionism will cause you more disadvantages than advantages. This often happens to people with low self-esteem. Those who have learned to use their perfectionism to avoid failure, mistakes and feelings of “not being good enough”. Unfortunately, this usually backfires. They feel constantly inadequate, unhappy and start to make more mistakes, because they can no longer live up to their own high standard.

But, how do you recognize a perfectionist, what goes wrong and what can you do to change this? I will discuss this further below.

3 aspects of perfectionism

1. A perfectionist has extremely high standards for themselves and / or others. This can be limited to one or more areas.
2. They base their self-esteem on the pursuit and achievement of these requirements.
3. A perfectionist experiences negative consequences from constantly having to pursue these extremely high standards, but nevertheless fails to stop pursuing perfection.

Possible causes of perfectionism

• Parents that set high standards (in terms of school or sport performance)
• Parents severely punishing mistakes: name calling, ridiculing, ignoring the child or even physically punishing the child
• Receiving a lot of appreciation/recognition for achievements
• Having a negative self-image or never considering yourself good enough
• Believing that success determines your worth as a person
• Black and white thinking
• Wanting to be in control of everything
• Education and culture (possible having perfectionist parents)

Am I a perfectionist?

Do you identify with any of the following characteristics?

• You always want to be perfect
• You always want to prove yourself and are constantly looking for confirmation
• You have a negative self-image and often criticize yourself
• You find it difficult to talk about your emotions and show your true self
• You find uncertainty unpleasant
• You suffer from performance anxiety
• You always want to be the best and you expect the same from others
• To-do lists are sacred and you always want to be in control
• You have an exaggerated sense of responsibility
• You are a real thinker and worrier
• You procrastinate
• Making decisions is difficult to you

Where does it go wrong?

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting everything to be perfect, but also about avoiding mistakes or failure. This causes a perfectionist to constantly feel inadequate and thus, unhappy. When a perfectionist does succeed to do something according to his / her own high standards, he / she doesn’t feel satisfaction or pride. Perfectionists always feel things could and should be better.

In conclusion,  constant high demands in combination with never being able to feel satisfied or proud, creates an unhappy feeling.

What can you do?

What can you do to work on your perfectionism? Below you will find 5 tips that could help you:

1. Focus on the process instead of the goal: Do you want to lose weight? Don’t just focus on the scale, but be proud of yourself every time you make the right choice at meal time.. Progress will gradually follow!
2. Become aware of your critical thoughts, the underlying reason why you’re such a perfectionist. You can do this by keeping a diary of your critical thoughts. This will help you create more distance between yourself and your thoughts. You can use the NiceDay app for this.
3. Replace MUST with WANT. Then see  how much you really have to do …
4. Work on self-acceptance. You are amazing just as you are. You matter!
5. Focus on the things that are going well: don’t think about what you still have to do, but think about what you have already done. Because even the smallest step in the right direction is a step forward.

Some people call your student days the beginning of the rest of your life. The whole world is at your feet, you’re supposed to start being independent and suddenly you have tons of new responsibilities. This can all be quite challenging!

Balance

This independence gives you freedom. You can make your own decisions about what to eat, when to clean and what time to go to bed . It makes life seem like a party and a lot of people will love this type of freedom, but there is a downside to it All this freedom could be at the expense of your health. The continuous load of vegetables your parents made you eat, going to bed on time and keeping your room clean had a purpose, one you only discover when you’re on your own: having a routine. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is just as important as enjoying life. Eating pizza every day sounds nice, but it’s not that healthy (besides, you’ll get bored of it!).

To find your own way, it’s essential to find the right balance. The fun part isn’t that difficult, but maintaining structure and taking responsibility can take some time to get used to. Here are some tips that can help you get started:

• Hang up a weekly calendar and plan your daily meals. This makes it easier to stick to your planning.
• Try eating healthy, but also give yourself some space to eat less healthy every once in a while. For example, having pizza every last Saturday of the month is totally fine!
• Cook large meals for multiple days. Cooking for 2 is easier than cooking for one and you can easily use the products you buy for multiple meals. You will spend less time in the kitchen and prevent unnecessary waste if you prepare your meals for a few days ahead.
• Write down all your appointments on your weekly calendar too. This way you won’t be surprised by your grandma visiting when you’re hungover on a Sunday.
• Routine makes boring chores easier. If you do your laundry and groceries on the same day every week, you will notice that at some point you don’t even have to think about it anymore.
• Set reminders on your phone for important events like buying a gift, a dentist appointment or filing your tax return. It’s impossible to remember everything in your head.
• Responsibility requires self-discipline and self-discipline is something you need to learn throughout time. Make agreements with yourself when it comes to the time you spent on studying, the time you go to bed or the things you do during the weekend, for example. You don’t have to punish yourself each time you fail to stick to it, but you will discover you can achieve a lot with some simple pre-set agreements.
• Ask for help. Nobody expects you to be able to do everything on your own right away, so don’t expect this from yourself either. For example, you can ask for easy recipes, financial advise or a helping hand figuring out your complicated microwave.

Humans are social animals: we are dependent of others and like to do things together. How we behave and what we say can also be influenced by the people in our direct environment. Sometimes, it even looks like others even determine who you are, how much you are worth as a person and which qualities you possess. Nowadays, we are so caught up with what others think of us, or actually what we think others think of us, that we sometimes forget who we actually are!

Three times yourself

Edward Tory Higgins is the inventor of the self discrepancy theory. This theory states that individuals compare themselves to self created standards as well as to how others might see us. Higgins states that an individual has three ‘selves’:

• The actual self: this is how you look at yourself.
• The ideal self: this is who we would like to be.
• The ought self: this is how you want to be seen by others.

Ideally, it would be nice when the actual self is exactly the same as the ideal & the ought self. Then the image of ourselves matches with who we would like to be and how we want to be perceived by others. If the actual & the ideal self differ a lot, this can lead to feelings of disappointment and sadness. Research states that clinical depressed patients have the biggest difference between the two selves. When the actual & the ought self differ a lot, this can lead to feelings of agitation, guilt, stress and even anxiety. Research states that people with social anxiety have the biggest difference between these two.

Tips for a better self image

Our dependency on others can lead to the underestimation of our actual self or to having too high expectations of our ideal & ought self. So it’s good to become aware of who we actually are and what we (can) expect of ourselves. And you can do it like this:

• Describe yourself in 3 sentences and write down your strengths, qualities and characteristics. Also write down how your mother or your best friend would describe you. Is there a difference between the two descriptions? If so, why is that?
• Keep a positive diary daily. Often, we forget all the positive things we do during the day and we tend to remember the negative. The way we look at ourselves should be determined by both!
• Do you notice you experience anxiety in situations in which you value the opinion of others a lot? You can examine if the image you hold about yourself or the way you think others look at you is actually in line with reality. Is it true you’re not nice, not good enough, not a good parent or not a good friend? Or is it the anxiety that makes you think like this? Try looking at the situation from a different perspective! What would you say to a friend when he/she has similar beliefs about himself/herself? 
• Think about your own standards and expectations. Are they realistic and achievable? Would you want others to be like this? Aren’t you using words like ‘always’ or ‘never’? Aren’t you describing everything using “I have to…”? Or are you actually pretty tough on yourself? Write everything down and think for yourself if you might have to adjust your expectations a little bit.

NiceDay

Do you notice you’re not feeling well and you can be a bit negative about yourself? Or do you want to improve your awareness of who you really are? Write down these exercises in the NiceDay app in a diary registration!

Many of you probably have set new goals and intentions for 2020. To be honest, I am not a fan of the whole “new year, new me” that always comes with New Year’s Eve. I try to renew myself throughout the year and actually set new goals every week. I am a huge fan of good intentions. But it doesn’t matter whether you start it in January, April or December.

However, the 1st of January can be a nice date for remembering things: I stopped smoking last year on this day, so I was able to celebrate my 1-year anniversary of non-smoker on January 1! Yeah!

Healthier living is often a good intention of people. More exercise and more healthy eating are often high on the list of goals to be achieved. 2019 was the year in which I started exercising and I would like to share in this blog how I approached that.

Bad memories of sports

As a teenage girl, I completely disliked sports. I had a gym teacher who was very unkind and made me feel bad about my body and sports performance. When my girlfriends and I went to get lunch, they always commented on my lunch and how unhealthy it was. During the gym class the comments always flew to my ears and all the exercises I did were never good enough. I can say that I certainly suffered a small trauma from this. For a long time, sport in my head was linked to something that I was incredibly bad at.

More and more fun

When I went to study a few years later, I moved from Belgium to the Netherlands. I went to live on my own and I went cycling a lot. Because of this I discovered how good exercise is for me: I started running with my roommate every now and then, went swimming regularly. I also took sometimes a group lesson with friends at the gym. I was definitely not a fanatic athlete and there were still weeks when I didn’t do anything, but I was increasingly aware of how good exercise and sport is for both your body and mind.

The power of movement

Last year I was invited by a friend to go bootcamp in the park. I was very nervous. I didn’t know anyone and my endurance wasn’t really great. It was – as expected – incredibly heavy, but it also went very well. It was a super fun group (of which not everyone was really fit), a nice coach and it was outside in the fresh air, which I really liked. The first weeks were incredibly tough, but after a month I started to get better. I started with once a week. After three months I already started exercising two to three times a week. I also found out more and more that exercising is one of the few moments where I can really put my mind to zero. I am not thinking about anything except the exercise I am going to perform at that time. In the meantime I regularly do other sports: I sometimes go swimming, spinning, walking and do yoga classes.

My message to you

The message that I want to give in my story above is: find a sport that suits you. Playing sports comes in so many forms. It does not matter what you do. I had many years of aversion to sport because of the negative association with the performance-oriented, competitive aspect that I could never meet in my head. However, performance should not be accomplished for gym teachers, but entirely for yourself!

Love,

Mara

Do you want to know how good intentions hold? Then read the article This is how your New Year’s resolutions will be successful.

It is January 2020. I only realized last week that we have entered a new decade. Normally I never make a big deal about changing the year, but this time it made me think. Will it be a time of success, health, forgiveness, love and happiness? I cannot foresee the future, but I can decide on which parts of my life I will focus my effort in 2020 and in the new decade.

Succes

As it looks now, 2020 will be a success in the field of education. I still have half a year to go and if I do my best in the last six months of my study, I will get my master’s degree. I am looking forward that after 5.5 years of studying I will finally be able to burn my books (muhaha)! 

But let’s not get ahead of things ;-). I hope that I can enjoy my study a little more in the coming six months instead of only studying for a good grade and deadlines. After all, it is the field that I have a lot of passion for. What I will do after my studies? I don’t know yet. By that time I will see what comes my way.

Health

How will my mental health state be? I don’t want to say anything about that, because this has fluctuated a lot in the past year. I feel a bit more stable now, partly due to the dose of medication I am taking, but it is also because the PTSD has been treated well. 

Somewhere in this decade I hope for closure, but this requires exposure first. How am I going to tackle it? I don’t know yet. In addition, there are some inner battles that I have to face, but I have agreed with myself that I want to stay close to myself and not make hasty decisions. It is my process and I am in charge of it. I do feel that this decade I will succeed in going through life as well as PTSD free, as well as depression free.

What about love?

Yes, what about love? Let’s just say that I don’t shut myself off, like I did all my life. I don’t go looking for love, I don’t believe in that. If it comes, then it comes. If it doesn’t come, than that’s also no problem.

Happiness

I often wonder what happiness actually is. Recently I have discovered that happiness starts with appreciating the small things in life. If you only seek happiness in the big things, then you can search for a long time and you will never be satisfied, because you want to surpass the big things. So with this in mind, I am entering the new decade with the hope that I can gradually find happiness in myself.

I wish all readers a very happy and healthy 2020!

Love,

Ghyta

Everyone has a unique set of core values: those things that you find important in life. By reflecting on your core values, you can give direction to your life. In this blog we explain how you discover your core values.

Core values ​​are your compass

Core values ​​indicate what you strive for in the deepest. They make your priorities clearer and provide direction in your life. If something is inconsistent with your core values, for example your job, if may feels not right.

Your core values ​​are also a checklist. For example, do your need to make a choice? Look if the choice matches with your core values. Does it match? Go for it! If it does not match, the choice is probably not in line with what you find important. It may be more logical to choose something else.

Which core values exist? Many! Some examples of core values ​​are: trust, growth, respect, creativity, freedom, love, status, integrity, success, playfulness, beauty and justice.

How do you determine your core values?

To determine your core values, it is important to discover what you find important in life. These tips can help:

Tip 1: Who do you admire? Write down who you admire. This can be a famous person, but also a colleague or a friend. Consider what you find special or inspiring about this person. There is often a core value behind this admiration.

Tip 2: What frustrates you? Consider what a day full of frustration looks like for you. What can really upset you? Write it all down. The opposite of your frustration is often an important value for you. Imagine that you always feel annoyed when friends look at their phones during a dinner. Maybe sincere attention is important to you. Or maybe you hate it if someone arrives late without informing you? Then integrity might be a core value for you.

Top 3: What if you are a wizard? Imagine that you are a wizard and can determine how everyone interacts with each other. How would this look like? What else would you like to see in the world? Perhaps you would like to see more exercise classes at schools, so health may be a core value of you.

Tip 4: Ask your environment. The people close to you can often easily identify what you stand for. Ask your friends, family or colleagues what they think is important to you and attach core values ​​to it.

Tip 5: Look at the value list. Download our list of core values ​​and choose your 10 most important core values ​​from the list. Write them down. For a month, start feeling which core values ​​resonate the most with you. Which core values ​​stand out every time? Try to come to 5 core values maximum. 

Keep in mind that your core values ​​will not immediately be clear. Take your time and reflect regularly.

Clear core values: what’s next?

Are your core values more clear? Consider whether your core values ​​receive the same amount of attention in your life. It is possible that some values ​​receive a lot of attention while others receive too little. Make room for all your core values. What would you do differently? What new opportunities do you see? Do your friendships match your core values?

For example, if you have discovered that freedom is a core value for you, it might make more sense not to work as an employee but to become a freelancer. Is creativity an important core value for you? Check if there is enough creativity in your life. Maybe you can make more time for a creative hobby.

What are your core values? What do you find really important in life? Share it with your coach in the NiceDay app.

Change. It’s something that everyone doesn’t like. You have to get rid of old habits and you have to quit something you’ve been doing the same for so long already. But the signals are clear: you can’t go on this way. Taking the step to change can be scary, but also really tough. How do you start actual change? And maybe even more importantly: how do you persist?

Make a plan

Usually, everything is perfectly lined up in our head and we know exactly what to do. It’s just taking that first step. To make this change a lot more real, you should write everything down. 

Write down the thing(s) you want to change. Maybe you want to be more positive. Or start exercising again. Or you want to save money for a trip around the world! Write down your personal goal. When would you have reached it? What do you need to reach it? What do you have to do to reach it? 

And what steps would it take? Create a realistic road map towards your goal, because doing everything in one big step is pretty much impossible!

Motivate yourself

Now comes the tough part: you have to actually do it. Try motivating yourself by writing down all the things how it will benefit you. You could for example create a list of pros and cons for both the short and the long term. Write everything down that comes to mind and especially remember why you should maintain this change! By writing everything down, you make it tangible, which is important for the process.

You could also externally motivate yourself. You can for example tell it to your mother/best friend/grandma, whoever you want. And ask for a little bit of support. Someone that supports you can be a really good push in the right direction.

On top of that you can make a deal with yourself. For example, buy a new phone when you’ve reached your goal. Or maybe a nice trip to a country far away for the weekend!

Remind and reward yourself

You’ve put everything in your power into reaching your goals. It costs a lot of energy and sometimes it can happen everything is not going that well anymore. Giving up seems to be close. Try reminding yourself why you are doing this constantly, because during the whole process you can lose your goal out of sight. Grab your list of pros and cons and call your mother for some mental support! Don’t forget to reward yourself for the effort you’ve put in all the hard work. It shouldn’t only cost blood, sweat and tears! Give yourself a nice treat, buy yourself a little gift or do something fun with some friends. You should compliment yourself for all the steps you’re taking. You would do the same for someone else right?

Monitor your progress

Your goal always seems to be in a far distance, until you’ve finally reached it. Why wouldn’t your keep track of your steps? At the start you should write down you’re on 0%. During the process you can keep track of your progress. The final 100% will become closer and closer and you’ll also know the steps you still have to take. Reaching your goal is amazing, but it’s the road towards it that makes it worth it!

NiceDay

Write down your plan of change in a diary registration in the NiceDay app. Also create a list of pros and cons and write down what you can do to motivate yourself. Keep track of when you will monitor your progress. You can even connect some rewards to certain points of progress!

It is good to set goals, for example in your relationship, your therapy or in your life. You have something to work towards. A dot on the horizon that gives a sense of direction. But have you ever experienced that, when you reach your goal, you feel less happy than you expected? You focused all your energy into that one goal, but in reality achieving this goal can feel disappointing. The solution: do not fixate only on the goals, but try to be aware of the path toward the goal. How? We explain how you do this in this blog! 

Achieving goals does not always make you happy

The illusion of happiness when reaching goals is also called the “Arrival Fallacy”. This is the belief that when you reach your destination or goal, you feel happy. You expect happiness when arriving! But, this is rarely the case. Achieving your goals rarely makes you as happy as you expected and you probably did not enjoy the steps along the way. This does not mean that having goals won’t make you happy. Having goals is exactly what makes you happy, not achieving goals. By having goals, we have the feeling of being on a journey, feeling of grow and developing ourselves. 

Goals give even more challenges

Because you are working towards the goal, you are already used to your new situation by the time you reach your destination. Another explanation is that reaching a goal also comes with things you did not foresee. For example, when having a baby, this also brings sleepless nights and smelly diapers.

A different example is when reaching your therapy goals. You work hard to achieve your goals, but when you reach them, you already see new steps you want to take. Or you might realize there are more things to accomplish. This might bring some other emotions than only happiness. Achieving a goal often reveals some more challenges.

 The solution

It is easy to be constantly focussed on the future and daydreaming about a future in which you are married, have a baby, or finally reach your target weight. The thing that makes you happier, is trying to focus on the present moment and gain pleasure out of growing in the course of your goal. This does not mean we shouldn’t set or reach goals, but it merely means that the goal is not more important than the growth towards this goal.

How?

By being present in the now, in this very moment! This solution may sound simple, but it can be a real challenge. Especially when you are having a tough time. Here are three tips: 

1. Try mindfulness or meditation to focus on the now. 
2. Enjoy on the way to your goals. Focus on what you experience with your senses. What do you see/hear/smell/feel? 
3. Write in your NiceDay Diary which steps you made today towards reaching your goal, how small they may seem. Be aware of these steps. 

Imagine this: you are going away for the weekend with your family. You have planned this months ago and you look forward to recover from all the working overtime and enjoying nature with your children and partner. “Ring Ring!” Your phone rings. It is your boss who tells you there is a new assignment, which really needs to be completed this weekend. Your boss has no time for it himself and asks you to work this weekend. You actually don’t feel like it at all. You have worked a lot overtime the past few weeks. What do you say to your boss?

Do you dare to tell your boss in a direct and respectful way that you cannot work this weekend? If so, then you have mastered a skill that many people find difficult: assertiveness. But do you find it difficult to stand up for yourself in situations like this? These tips can help you!

What is assertiveness?

Assertiveness is a way of communicating whereby you take into account your own interests, but also the interests of the other. It means that you express your thoughts and feelings in a direct and respectful way.

If you only take your own interests into account and ignore the interests of the other, you respond aggressively. For example: “No way! I’ve made enough overtime in the last few weeks, find someone else! “

On the other hand: if you only consider the interests of the other and you forget your own interests, then you respond sub-assertively. You agree with the request while you actually do not want to. That doesn’t feel nice.

How do you communicate assertively? Here are some tips.

Speak from the ‘I-form’ 

By speaking from the I-form you take ownership and responsibility for your feelings, thoughts and behavior. Therefore your story does not come across as an attack on the other, which means that he / she does not take a defensive position and is more open to what you have to say.

Empathy

Try to sincerely relate to the other, to understand how he / she views the situation. This means that you listen to understand and not just to respond. After you have considered the perspective of the other, you can express what you need from the other. This is how it goes: “I understand that this is a difficult situation and that you want to deliver the assignment on time, but I would like to keep this weekend free for my family.”

Ask for more time

Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed by a request, you just not know what you want or you are  just too emotional to communicate in a healthy way. In this case it is best to be honest. Ask more time to gather your thoughts. Say this for example: “I find it difficult to answer this now. Can I call you back in half an hour? ”

Write it down

Do you find it difficult to respond assertively “on the spot”? Then the tip is to write down your answers. This is works, for example, in combination with the tip to ask for more time. It is useful to think up and write down the following parts in advance:

1. The event: describe how you view the situation;
2. Your feelings: describe how it makes you feel;
3. What you need: tell the other person exactly what you need from him / her;
4. The consequences: describe the positive consequences for the other person, your relationship or the company if he / she accepts your request.

Your response to your boss’s request may look like this: “You asked me to work this weekend because of a large assignment that needs to be completed this weekend. But on the same weekend I want to take a break with my family. I find this a difficult situation, but I find that I need rest and time with my family. That way I can continue to perform well at work. “

NiceDay promotion

Do you want to practice your assertiveness? The NiceDay app can help you. Write this assignment in your diary or ask your coach for help. And don’t forget: as with many things in life, it comes down to practice, practice, practice!