Getting enough exercise can sometimes be difficult. You may have trouble fitting it into your schedule or finding the motivation on a cold and rainy day. It can be particularly difficult to get the motivation to get up and get active if you are feeling depressed or down. Around one in five Dutch people suffer from depression once in their lifetime. Nevertheless, various studies show that exercise has a positive effect on your mood. Furthermore, it has shown that people who exercise regularly are less likely to suffer from symptoms of mental illness, such as depression or anxiety. 

Exercise against depression

Many studies have shown that exercise can be a protective factor against depression. Those who exercise regularly have a lower chance of being depressed. Studies have even shown that exercising can reduce symptoms of depression, comparable to therapy or antidepressants. 

Exercise does not only directly influence your mood, but also can be very beneficial indirectly. Think about making a new friend at your local sports team, or getting some fresh air and sunlight during your lunchtime walk, or even working off your stress and anxieties at the local gym. In addition, people who exercise more often feel better about themselves. They are more confident and have a more positive self-image, compared to those people who do little exercise. 

Positive effects on your body and mind

We have all heard how exercise is good for our physical health. Exercise for example ensures that our respiratory system and blood circulation function well. It strengthens our immune system and can help to form a good sleeping pattern.

What you may not realise however is how exercise is beneficial for our brain and stimulates the growth of nerve cells in the brain, which improves your ability to learn. 

What’s more, exercise has been shown to reduce inflammation in the body. This is good news because there is increasing evidence linking inflammation with depression and anxiety. 

Finally, there is evidence that exercise boosts neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) such as serotonin and endorphins which have a positive effect on our mood and motivation. All these factors can contribute to boosting your mood, motivation and mental health, and in turn, also reinforce each other. For example, a good workout in the sun boosts your mood and motivation, making it more likely that you’ll go out and exercise again. This creates a positive vicious cycle instead of a negative one.

Make it a habit

It is important to make exercise a habit. The sooner you make it a habit, the quicker you will notice the benefits and the easier it will become. Evidence seems to suggest that even small amounts of exercise can make a difference, for example going for a 15-minute jog. 

Exercise doesn’t only mean playing for your local sports team or going to the gym. Exercise can be done in many forms, even for example through household chores or cycling to work.  It is important that you choose a form of exercise that suits you best. Participating in a sport or taking up exercise that you enjoy, can make each day a little better and easier.

Ask or challenge a friend

All types of exercise appear to have a beneficial effect on people’s mental, physical and emotional health, and the benefits of adding it to your daily routine cannot be understated. Do you have trouble fitting exercise into your schedule? It can also help you, for example, to meet up with a friend and exercise together. Having your friend come with you can provide that extra bit of motivation to get active. 

You can use the NiceDay app to see how many steps you take each day. Switch on the pedometer and challenge your friends, family or colleagues to see who can take the most steps.

Don’t forget that small steps can go a long way!

Christmas is coming! Although it should contribute to happiness and peace on earth, it is mostly causing stress. Crowdy shops, forced politeness towards your family and preparing Christmas dinner. Let’s do it different this year! We will give you some tips.

Your family
Family members asking you whether you already made a promotion at work, if you are dating someone or live in a decent place already. It will only make you feel worse. It is not pleasant when your family is rubbing it in when you’re not feeling well. But keep in mind that they mean well, they probably only ask because they feel like they should. Prepare what you are going to answer and ask questions yourself. By asking questions you will shift the focus away from yourself.

Christmas presents
It seems like it gets more and more difficult every year, what kind of presents should you buy?! So many products, yet so little choice: we already have everything! However, you do want to give a little something to the people you care about. But isn’t it even more fun to give a voucher? You can spend as much money as you want, but experiences are priceless. Watch a movie with your dad, have an afternoon tea with you mother and take a weekend trip with your partner. Nice for the receiver and for yourself!

Christmas dinner
Are you the host of this year’s dinner? Then take it easy: Keep the mains simple and add little snacks, like Christmas bon bons and appetizers. Choose meals you can prepare the day before, like soups, vegetable curries and Christmas cake. Next to that, the supermarkets offer a lot of ready-made dishes which you would not even notice coming straight from the shelves. Scroll through Pinterest for some extra inspiration.  

Escape the crowd
Why not start Christmas shopping now! Webshops will be so overburdened, you will probably not have your last minute present in time. The shops are getting emptier and emptier and the crowd will not make you feel any better. Do not do it to yourself, be prepared. And why not: buy some stuff for next year too.

Be happy
Christmas brings so much fuss, but in the end it is all about being happy. Try to set all of your problems aside and enjoy the moment. Enjoy the people around you and be thankful for what you have. At Christmas life will be on hold for a while!

Glimmers of light: sometimes big, sometimes small. If they are there, that is your call.

Goals: Are you suffering from (extra) stress during the Christmas season? Write down your feelings in the ‘Feel Goal’, describe what caused the stress and find out how to solve it.

Your mind is constantly racing with thoughts. Whatever you do, your thoughts follow you everywhere, commenting on your next move. Take a moment by yourself, or take a short walk around the block and notice how your thoughts constantly have something to say. Making judgements about yourself and others, informing you, telling you what to do next, among other things. When you’re greatly affected by your thoughts or always take them as ‘truth’, they can become overwhelming and can even impact your mental health. For example, it can contribute to anxiety or depression. By defusing our thoughts we can reduce the impact they have on us. In this blog, I will talk about what thought defusion is and how you can practise it. 

Defusion

Fusing with your thoughts is when you’re not able to see the difference between you and your thoughts. We take our thoughts for reality and find it difficult to see another perspective. 

Defusing from our thoughts is a concept from ACT. It means creating a distance between yourself and your thoughts and learning to detach from thoughts, memories and ideas. Instead of always seeing the world through or from your thoughts, you look at your thoughts. Instead of letting them push you around and taking ‘hold’ of you, you see them for what they are; nothing more than words or pictures in our mind. 

Stress

Often our thoughts are useful and help us to solve problems, or protect us from danger. It is no wonder they have become such an important and influential function. Nonetheless, sometimes they are not helpful and cause undue stress. For example, think about anxious thoughts you might have in anticipation of something that makes you feel nervous, like “I am going to embarrass myself”. Or thoughts you might have after making a mistake, such as “I am such a stupid person”. By recognizing thoughts for what they are and distancing yourself from them, you can respond to them accordingly. You can identify whether these thoughts are helpful or even realistic.

Think of yourself as the sky and your thoughts as clouds passing by, or of changes in the weather or climate. Notice how your thoughts also float by just like clouds, some move faster than others and may take different sizes and forms, but the sky always remains the same in the background.

Practising defusion

Right now, you may think this is easier said than done! Nevertheless, there are a few small exercises you can put into practise each day to help you defuse your thoughts. Remember it may be difficult at first, but practise will help it to come more naturally and easier to apply in your daily life.

• Regularly take a moment to step back. Notice your thoughts, and ask yourself if the thought you are having is helpful. Does this thought help the situation? How is this thought making me feel? 
• Try saying a thought that is causing you distress out loud. You can practise this by saying it in a silly voice, or impersonating someone famous. You can even try singing it! How does it feel hearing your thoughts like this? What impact does it have?
• Practise mindfulness. Mindfulness refers to being in the present moment and observing non-judgmentally. Practising mindfulness regularly can help to foster defusion. You can read more about mindfulness here and find an exercise that best suits you. Headspace also has a lot of useful exercises. 

Still a little confused how defusing your thoughts can help? This video explains the concept of defusion with the help of a Sushi train!

Mental illnesses may seem like a rarity, but they are more common than you think, mainly because they are often invisible. They include, for example, depression, anxiety disorders, addiction or eating disorders. You might hold the door for someone in a wheelchair, but mental illnesses aren’t usually as visual. A mental illness can go hand in hand with a decreased quality of life. Daily life is more difficult for you and you can feel very little or no motivation to get up and do something. As a result, people withdraw and isolate themselves.

Mental illnesses have a huge impact on a person’s life, that’s a fact. But does this also mean that people with a mental illness can no longer do anything or that their lives come to a standstill? No, certainly not! You can be living with a mental illness, but still, have a good life. I’ll tell you how with these few tips.

Tip 1: Be aware of the three basic elements every day

Sleep, nutrition and exercise are the three basic elements of life. When one of these elements is out of balance, you’ll notice in both your physical and mental health. So, it’s important to make this a real priority in your life! Not used to paying a lot of attention to these three elements? Start with small steps; for example, go to bed around the same time every day and get up at the same time every day. Eat a healthy and varied meal three times a day, and make sure you go outside and take a walk every day (even if it’s only for 10 minutes!).

Tip 2: Stay in touch!

When you suffer from mental illness, you may tend to isolate and cut yourself off from your environment. You may feel that you are a burden to your environment, or think that you are protecting those around you by isolating yourself. But please know that the opposite is true! How would you feel if your close friend or family member was going through a rough time? Would you want your friend or brother to reach out to you, or would you rather have them withdraw and be alone? Companionship can bring you so much. Mental illness doesn’t go away the moment you talk about it with someone you trust, but it does relieve the pain. You feel heard and supported; that’s what it’s about.

It can also help to contact people that are also going through a mental illness. This helps you feel understood because you come into contact with people who are going through or have gone through the same thing as you. This makes you feel less alone.

Tip 3. Psycho-education

By reading psycho-education you gain more information about mental illness and the associated complaints. Try to read as much information as possible; the more you know, the better you understand yourself. Write down what your current complaints are and what you recognize from the information you read. On niceday.app you can find several libraries, where you can find and read information about several mental illnesses. Feel free to take a look there!

Tip 4. Avoid narcotics

A glass of wine or a joint before going to sleep; in the short term it might seem to ease the pain, but in the long term (or the next day) you will feel more miserable than ever. When it comes to drinking alcohol, the term “hangxiety” may sound familiar to you. With hangxiety, a combination of a hangover and anxiety, you not only suffer from nausea but you can also be overcome by fear, excessive worrying or even panic attacks. Alcohol and drugs can amplify existing psychological problems (and can cause them), so my advice is to stay away from them.

Tip 5. Get out of your head.

You have about 40,000 thoughts every day. Especially if you are someone who worries a lot, you probably notice that the thoughts keep piling up. This causes you to feel uneasy. Writing is a great way to get out of your head. Put your thoughts on paper and look at them from a distance. Writing ensures that you learn to look at your thoughts or situation from a different perspective, literally and figuratively. In addition, writing down your thoughts on paper or in an app helps you to put them down afterwards and to let go of your thoughts more easily.

Give these tips a try and observe the effect it has on you. It is important to give yourself some time to absorb all of the tips.

Psychological help

If you notice that these tips don’t help you and/or if you notice that your situation is deteriorating, please don’t hesitate to contact your doctor. They will make sure you get the help you need. Would you like to know more about a treatment via NiceDay? You can do this at several mental health care organisations, click here for more information.

Good luck!

Depression is one of the most common mental disorders. But do you know what a depression is exactly? These are the most common misconceptions about depression.

Misconception #1: Depressie is similar to feeling down

Feeling a down isn’t very unusual and it’s true everybody experiences this sometimes. In fact, more than 1 in 5 people will experience an episode in which the complaints will be so intense they could be diagnosed with a depression. There is however a difference between feeling down  and experiencing a period of feeling down combined with feelings of worthlessness, constant exhaustion, bad concentration or even thoughts about death. Sadness doesn’t necessarily has to be the most present feeling. A depression can also be expressed through anger, frustration and aggressiveness. The impact of the complaints on someone’s well being, but also on the surroundings are much bigger for a depression then when someone is feeling down.

Misconception #2: A depression will heal  itself

A depression can pass on its own sometimes, but mostly complaints can maintain a long time and strengthen other complaints. You might imagine that someone that’s always tired and can’t concentrate very well, will have less pleasure in doing things that cost a lot of energy. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness and maybe even develop into thoughts about death. To keep on going with your daily activities like work and school in the same pace can then be extra stressful. Depression often does not disappear by itself.

Misconception #3: A depression only develops after a traumatic event

A depression can develop after a negative life event like the passing away of a family member, but that’s not always the case. Interpersonal Psychotherapy is a treatment that focuses on four different sorts of depression: mourning, conflict, change of social role or shortage of social relationships. A loss, conflict, change or shortage in the social environment can have a big impact on your mood. A depression can also develop slowly after a longer amount of time. For example when someone with a low self esteem is constantly looking for negative confirmations which can increase the sense of failing. The feeling you never seem to be doing anything right, can cause a lot of negative feelings and even lead to a full grown depression.

Misconception #4: Antidepressants will cure every depression

An antidepressant is a medicine that helps with intense emotions and stress, but it’s not a cure for depression. Quite often it’s prescribed in combination with psychotherapy. A depression is not just feelings of sadness. Negative thought patterns and a unhealthy lifestyle can contribute as well. The combination of antidepressants, psychotherapy and improving the lifestyle is an effective way to overcome a depression.

NiceDay

Have you been feeling down for a long time, do you recognize yourself in the things above and do you find it difficult to deal with your mental complaints? Know that you can always seek help of a professional. You can report this to your doctor, but you can also contact a professional within NiceDay.

Ellie works as a nurse in a big hospital for over 20 years now. She loves her job and is committed to her patients with heart and soul. But when the reorganization started and the hospital merged with another hospital, this had major consequences for Ellie’s work. There were more patients to take care of and less nurses available per patient. There was also an increasing administrative pressure. Everything that Ellie did had to be reported. Ellie sometimes worked for 11 days in a row and received little appreciation for her unbridled efforts. Sounds depressing, right? And that is what happened, Ellie got depressed.

But is Ellie her story representative? How often does misery at work actually lead to a depression? What is the difference between depression and a burn-out? And, if you find yourself depressed, what can you do?

Depression in numbers

Before we dive into these questions, first some information. Did you know that 1 in 5 people in the Netherlands has to deal or dealt with a depression? That is twenty percent! Therefore depression had the dubious honor of being among the top 5 of disorders with the highest burden of disease, medical expenses and absenteeism. When you feel low for the majority of the day or you experience loss of pleasure in activities which would normally interest a person, you meet the diagnosis of a depression. This must coincide with some of the following symptoms:

•  concentration, attention and memory problems,
• too much or too little appetite and insomnia,
• feelings of guilt
• sometimes thoughts about self-harm and suicide

Is your work the cause of your depression?

Depression can be caused by stressful working conditions: research shows that work-related situations certainly play a role in the development of depressive symptoms. Working pressure (27%); uncertainty about the future(19%); lack of support or bullying / conflicts (26%) are the most reported factors causing sensitivity for a depression. Mainly the combination of a demanding job combined with a lack of decision-making power are big risk factors. However, a noisy or dark work environment does not seem to play a role in the development of depressive symptoms.

Are you vulnerable for a depression?

Is everyone who deals with these burdensome working conditions depressed? No, definitely not. As with many psychiatric disorders, “nature” and “nurture”, or genetic predisposition and environmental factors, play a role.

Genetic vulnerability

Research shows that children with a depressive parent are three times more likely to get depressed. Also, you are also more vulnerable to depression when you are inclined to react negatively to stressful events, believe that these events are your own “stupid” fault and when you do not feel power over the situation. This is also called “cognitive vulnerability”.

Your home situation

Translated into everyday life, these insights mean that genes, your character in combination with your working conditions, can make you vulnerable to the development of depressive symptoms. This vulnerability can be increased even more if you experience problems in other areas of your life. In Ellie’s case, besides feeling overloaded at work, there was also a very stressful home situation with her partner who regularly grabbed the bottle and got aggressive. Ellie, who described herself as a perfectionist with a great sense of responsibility having an unsafe home situation, broke after the reorganization. It was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Ellie got depressed.

Burnout or depression?

She became depressed. However, this work-related problem could also have led to a burn-out. The distinction between both disorders is quite difficult as there are big similarities in the symptoms of both disorders, such as fatigue and concentration problems. Yet experts also mention very important differences between a burn-out and a depression. In short, someone with a burnout still wants to work, but can not do it anymore, while someone with depression lost his or her drive to work. This seemingly small difference has major consequences for the treatment. In the case of depression it is important that people get out again, that they gradually start doing things again. For people with a burnout complaints, on the contrary, it is important that they take a step back.

What can you do?

As always: to prevent is better than to cure. This means that it makes sense to seek support as quickly as possible and to investigate what you need to feel better. Your supervisor or your employer can play a role in this. Structure your working hours and ensure sufficient sleep, exercise and relaxation. If you find that difficult, it is wise to seek help from a professional counselor. Together you can investigate how to find balance and how you can learn to deal with vulnerable characteristics, such as; learning to say “no”, setting limits and being more gentle with yourself.

And Ellie?

Ellie learned not to ask too much of herself and eventually chose to leave her violent partner. At her work she is carefully rebuilding under the supervision of her employer and she tries to get to know her limits and to monitor them. What we learn from Ellie’s story? That we can manage to get out of that valley and be happy again. And that is important to know: good help is available. You do not have to do it alone.

It was a day in April, 2017. I remember it was Maundy Thursday and I was lying on the couch. The TV was on, but I had my eyes closed because my head felt like it was exploding. I was feeling nauseous, dizzy and couldn’t properly stand on my feet. I had only managed to eat half a sandwich that day. It was the day after I started taking antidepressants.

Side effects

The start was tough. I had a lot of side effects; dizziness, stomach ache, fatigue, headache, tremors and the feeling of someone pulling my skin. Not everyone has the same physical response to antidepressants. Some only have a few side effects, while others have many. Despite the many side effects I experienced in the beginning, it didn’t occur to me to stop taking antidepressants. At that point, I had been in therapy for a year without any progress; it actually got worse. The worst side effects were gone after 1.5 to 2 weeks, but it took me a total of 6 weeks before I was completely free of side effects.

Effects

After about two months I felt the antidepressants were starting to take effect. The heavy gloom I once felt, wasn’t as present anymore. Going outside didn’t cause as much fear and I was able to follow my lectures a little bit better than before. Of course, 

antidepressants aren’t panacea, and taking them won’t immediately resolve your depression. In addition to taking medication, I was still in therapy. The combination of pills and talking with someone gave my head and body a little more rest.

Resistance

After taking antidepressants for about two years, I developed an aversion to the pills. I took them very irregularly and felt a lot of resistance to take them. It still isn’t clear to me where that feeling of resistance came from. It probably had something to do with me wanting to fight my depression and PTSD ‘by myself’. I went to my psychiatrist at the time and asked him if I could start tapering off the antidepressants. He said if I really wanted this, he would help me with this. My psychologist at the time, however, did not think it was such a good idea.

Eventually I started to reduce to 0 mg, which felt really good at first. But after a few months things went wrong. I was at my lowest again, was crying a lot and my thoughts took me to the darkest places I have ever been. the realisation grew that I needed the pills to be able to function somewhat normally again. So I started building up again, but this time the dose I had before wasn’t good enough. Only after raising it, I started to notice a difference. When I look back to when I decided to taper down my antidepressants, I now realize that this wasn’t such a good idea. I hadn’t even had the most severe trauma therapy, and wasn’t where I needed to be yet.

What next?

Today I still take my antidepressants. I am no longer in therapy, because that’s no longer necessary. I feel very good and am happy with the place I am in life right now. A few weeks ago the idea of ‘tapering down’ crossed my mind again. For now, I will see what happens for a few more months. If I feel that the time is right, then I will start tapering down again.

Love,

Ghyta

Would you like to know more about anti-depressants, the effects and how you can best taper down? Try reading “A look at antidepressants” of “Quitting antidepressants” by Nurse Specialist GGZ Daniëlle Coenjaerts.

2020 has been a year full of change. A year in which we constantly have had to adapt to new measures and find our way around the (temporary) new normal. This is not easy for many people; missing the hugs from your family or the lack of nights out with friends still remains. But when you are quarantined with depression, this time can be even more difficult. In this blog I will discuss how you can prevent your depression from worsening.

How do you feel when you are depressed?

When you are depressed, you feel low and lethargic for a long period of time. You may also notice that you get less enjoyment from life. When you previously enjoyed a cup of coffee in the sun, it no longer feels very pleasant anymore. With the help of a psychologist you can find out if you are suffering from depression.

The vicious circle

When you suffer from depression you can experience many negative thoughts. Thinking negatively may have become a habit; you may not even realize that you are thinking negatively. This negative mindset can also make you feel more depressed. Because you feel low, you are less motivated to do things (for example daily exercise, household chores or maintaining social contacts). Because you feel less motivated to do things, you actually end up doing less. You then feel less satisfied at the end of the day and think negatively about yourself. This negative thinking then causes a low mood and this is how the circle continues. 

Breaking the circle

To break this circle, it is important to get active step by step (literally and figuratively), under the guidance of a psychologist. When you slowly start to move more and become active, it ultimately ensures that you also feel more active and that you are more active. If successful, you will feel satisfied at the end of the day and your self-esteem will increase. This is a gradual process; it is not fair to expect yourself to recover from depression in a few weeks.

Breaking the circle during Corona

Depression in itself is difficult enough. But what if you have to be quarantined during a depression? Then it suddenly becomes even more difficult to stay active. What can you do and what can you pay attention to (whether you are in treatment or not)?

• Create as much structure as possible, that means:

• • getting up and going to bed at the same time every day: make sure you don’t sleep too little or too much.
  • Structure in your diet: breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Preferably as healthy as possible.
  • Add daily exercise to your agenda. For example: a walk for 30 minutes every day at 10:00 am.
  • Make a plan for your other activities: fun relaxing activities and “musts”. For example: every day at 2:00 PM I clean up for a maximum of 20 minutes. At 3 p.m. I sit down with a cup of tea and a treat and I call a good friend. It sounds simple, but we often get energy from simple things.
• Avoid using alcohol or drugs to deal with your emotions: it may seem nice in the short term, but in the long term it often makes you feel more miserable.
• Limit the amount of news you receive: you can reduce your concerns or anxiety by watching or listening to reports in the (social) media less often. If you follow the news, rely on reliable information sources (the national government, the World Health Organization (WHO) or the RIVM).
• Talk about your feelings and don’t bottle them up. Stay in touch with people you trust: friends, family and colleagues via email and phone. Don’t forget: people like to hear that someone else is doing well and are happy to offer support.
• If help from the environment isn’t enough, contact a professional counselor. If you do not yet have a professional care provider, your doctor can help you find one. The general practitioner can also quickly provide the right kind of help and refer you to other care providers such as a psychologist.

Always take small steps in a depression. As I said, it’s not realistic to expect yourself to get rid of your depressive symptoms overnight. Give yourself time and ask for help.

Are you looking for help to deal with your depression or other problems with your mental health? Click here for more information about treatment via NiceDay.

Many people now know that sex is good for your physical health. For example, sex can strengthen your immune system. Through the physical exertion your blood will flow faster: this will have a positive effect on your heart, blood vessels and can burn fat. Your body will also produce endorphins which reduces pain; for example, headaches can dissapear due to sex. In this blog, we’ve already discussed the physical benefits of sex. But what are the benefits of sex on your mental health?

The benefits

The act of sex can take place easily; without clear consent, when you don’t feel like it or even if you associate negative feelings with it. Sex is not about frequency or performance. It is about your sexual feelings, wishes and desires: these can be different for everyone. Therefore it is important that you have sex when you want it and with someone who feels the same way. Only then will it benefit you!

What are the benefits of sex for your mental health? Below I will discuss a number of them.

• Self-confidence, confidence and communication

Having sex or talking about sex together creates intimacy and connection. Research results show that your self-confidence increases and your sexual health improves if you can discuss sex. Especially when you talk about what you like, what your insecurities are or the use of contraception. Talking about sex reduces shame and discomfort. This increases your self-confidence and creates a bond of trust. In the end you will have sex in which you respect, protect and fulfill each other’s sexual desires.

• Getting to know yourself and the other

Everyone differs in the extent to which they want or need sex: everyone has a libido type. Friction can arise between (sex) partners if these libido types differ. For example, one person may see sex as a form of love. In this case, if the other person does not feel like having sex, this can easily feel like rejection to the other person. In this article you can find out what you or the other person’s libido type is. This can help you understand each other’s needs and how to deal with the differences in sex drive.

• Vitality and creativity

When you have had sex you feel young, alive and relaxed. This is partly due to the hormone estrogen, which is released in greater amounts during sex. When your estrogen level rises, you feel better about yourself, confident, optimistic and creative. The hormone oxytocin is released through intimacy and touch: it creates a pleasant and relaxed feeling. Sex also releases the hormone dopamine: dopamine generates more energy, makes you more optimistic and stimulates your creativity. If you have sex regularly, your dopamine system gets a boost.

• Fantasies

Psychotherapist Esther Perel explains that sexual fantasies show us desires that may make our lives more enjoyable and intense. Psychologist Lehmiller argues that we do not express our fantasies enough to our sexual partner. This is because we think our fantasies are taboo. While research shows that partners who do discuss their fantasies scored higher on “happiness” than those who kept it secret. In this article you can read more about fantasies.

• Decreased depression and loneliness

If there is a difference between how often you want sex and the degree to which you are sexually active, it can cause sexual frustration. Lack of touch and sex can make you feel down and lonely. This feeling can arise when you are single, but also in a relationship. People who are sexually frustrated tend to be more depressed. This can be due to several things: lack of sex (a basic human need), lack of intimacy within a relationship, or medical problems. Do you recognize this feeling and does it cause you suffering? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Together with a professional you can look at what you are missing, what you long for and how you can work towards that.

NiceDay

Do you recognize yourself in the above? Or do you find it difficult to talk about sex with your (sex) partner? You can find some practical tips on how to do that here. Or do you not identify with any of the above and don’t feel any excitement at all when it comes to sex? That is also possible! You might find this article on asexuality interesting. The bottom line is: recognize and understand your own needs and act accordingly. That may or may not mean sex.

Hi everyone! My name is Anouk and a little while ago I finished my treatment with NiceDay. I was very happy with how this all went and would like to tell you more about my experience with NiceDay. I hope that if you are going through something and have doubts about using the app, my experience can help you visualize what such a treatment might look like. And, that it helps you make the decision to look for help, or maybe not, because you don’t have to do anything!

Anxious thoughts and depressive feelings

Before I started my treatment through NiceDay, my anxious thoughts were getting in the way of life, especially my social life. In addition, I struggled with anxious thoughts and depressive feelings, and I wanted to learn how to deal with trthese. This eventually led me to NiceDay. I felt like my issues weren’t bad enough for a psychologist. But I still wanted to work on them and talk about it with a professional. So, NiceDay was the perfect option for me.

Sessions via the chat

The NiceDay team matched me with my practitioner soon after I signed up. You can choose whether you call or video call your practitioner, but my anxiety affected calling with other people. Their response was very understanding and we did my first 2 sessions via chat. This was very nice for me, but I also noticed that the sessions flew by and you couldn’t discuss a lot this way, since typing takes longer than talking.

Acknowledgement for my fear

After the second session I decided I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and to start doing my sessions via calls. I asked my practitioner and he thought it was a great idea. He also assured me that he would do everything to make me feel comfortable, which was very nice for me to hear. My fear wasn’t dismissed, but it was understood and acknowledged.

From then on, I called my therapist for every session. Sometimes this was very difficult but good at the same time. We were able to discuss more and my practitioner was very understanding when sometimes I didn’t get an answer right away.

The right tools

During my sessions we worked on my social anxiety, but also on my self-criticism, which turned out I do quite a lot. In addition, we also discussed things such as emotions and how to deal with them, the different coping styles, where fears come from and why you can have them.

I have learned a lot from the sessions and still try to deal with this. Because even though I have learned a lot, I am not quite where I would ultimately like to be. But I feel that I have now been given the tools to start working on my personal development. I believe that this will make me happy, something I wish for everybody and hope you will be too!

Social media

I am not quite where I want to be, and I am still working on developing and improving myself. On my social media accounts I share what I go through and what I have learned. If you would like to receive some tips and positivity every now and then, follow me on Instagram (@anouk_van_ham) and Youtube (Anouk van Ham). And, don’t forget to follow NiceDay op Instagram, because they share even more positivity and tips than I do! 🙂

I can share a lot more about my trajectory and my own process, but I think I have described the big picture now. I hope that you will experience the same success with NiceDay as I do, or that you choose a different path that works just as well! Thank you for reading, good luck with your own journey and who knows until next time.

Love,

Anouk <3

Anouk received online help through the NiceDay app. Would you like to know more about online help via NiceDay? Click here for more information.