The feeling that you mean something and that you’re worthy determines your daily functioning and how you feel. Self-esteem is the image you have of yourself on an emotional level, without logical reasoning. It is entirely yours and has nothing to do with how you come across towards others, or what others think of you. For example, someone may appear very confident but actually has little self-esteem. What about your self-esteem? What grade do you give yourself?

Developing your self-esteem

You can derive your self-worth from many things outside of yourself. Think about your appearance, possessions, achievements, and relationships. What you derive your value from therefore also partly determines on which you base your choices. Often we are very busy maintaining these things, but that withholds us from living free. In the long run, this is a recipe for mental distress and ultimately an unhappy existence.

Is it possible to improve your self-esteem?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have more self-esteem? That you dare to make decisions that change your life for the better. This gives you the opportunity to find the job that suits you better. Spend your time with friends who give you energy, instead of drain it. To experience comfort in people who are there for you when you are sad. The steps below will help you on your way to improved self-esteem!

  • Find the source

The image you have of yourself has developed during the course of your life. Is your lack of self-esteem related to the lack of recognition you received from your parents? Perhaps you have been bullied in the past and therefore feel that you are less worthy? List your thoughts and feelings about it. Use the diary in the NiceDay app, or do this together with a healthcare professional.

  • Observe your own (judgmental) thoughts

Often it is your own thoughts from which you derive your self-esteem. Stop being so hard on yourself! Get started with Thought Records in the NiceDay app to organize your thoughts.

  • Self-acceptance

Sometimes putting things into perspective isn’t enough to make you feel better. When you accept yourself as a whole, you give yourself the space to find the power that resides within you. Take a friendly look at where you are in life right now. Let everything be there, even those parts and emotions that you would rather not see or experience. Once we start excluding parts, they can’t let go of us. Be open and willing to behold everything, without denial, without avoidance, without judgment or criticism.

  • Here and now

Many people think too much about the past or the future. The challenge is to be in the here and now. Regularly take the time to sit with yourself in silence. Is meditation a step too far, take a walk in nature! Go to the forest or the beach, breathe in the fresh air and take a conscious look around you.

  • Discover your own core values

What is important to you? Self-esteem is also about your own core values. You will improve your self-esteem if you know what your core values are and if you start consciously choosing those core values. If you know who you are and what you stand for, it’s easier to work towards something. This will increase your feeling of self-worth. 

  • Exercise!

Sport contributes to a healthy lifestyle; you feel more comfortable in your own skin as a result. You will not only feel this boost in your body but also in your thoughts and feelings. Body and mind are connected!

  • Take responsibility

Stop blaming others for the situation you are in right now. Where possible, choose to take action yourself. You can decide to no longer allow unhealthy forms of dependence and victimization. Not the other person, but YOU are ultimately responsible for your own happiness in life!

Help

Is your lack of self-esteem getting in the way of your daily life, and would you like to talk to someone about it? Make an appointment with your doctor, or click here for more information about NiceDay treatment at various mental healthcare institutions.

BRON :
ACT in actie, Lönnqvist, J. E., Verkasalo, M., Helkama, K., Andreyeva, G. M., Bezmenova, I., Rattazzi, A. M. M., ... & Stetsenko, A. (2009). Self‐esteem and values. European Journal of Social Psychology, 39(1), 40-51.
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Lothar van Hoogdalem

Hi! My name is Lothar, I am a psychologist at PsyQ Online. I would be happy to talk to you about working on your mental health in an accessible way! My specialization is neuropsychology.

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