You will probably remember this. On vacation with your family and you are very excited about reading your new book in the back seat. When the highway makes way for hairpin bends, your eyes stay focused on the letters in front of you. After a full 30 seconds of slalom, you realize: “Mom, Dad, I’m sick!” “Then put that book away!” your parent says. You let the exciting story for what it is and soon nausea disappears; your body is in balance again.
Your body reacts with an imbalance
Taking action when you are physically out of balance is logical. The senses – eyes, ears, muscles – communicate with the brain when something is wrong and when corrections are needed in order not to fall, feel sick or perform an exercise properly. The brain processes all input and coordinates the body to regain balance. Why is finding the physical balance so much easier than finding mental balance?
Why do we want to be busy?
We get upset when we have a lot on our to-do list and only a limited time for implementation. Yet it happens to all of us. Sarah Cameron, life coach, shares her theory: “being busy” makes us feel important, it is a means to escape. This can be an escape from a fear of doing nothing, being alone, or not being appreciated. In many cases, it has to do with learning to set boundaries and making choices. Danielle Orner, writer, actress and yoga practitioner says it more nuanced ” Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender. “
You can train balance
Given that “making an effort” for something that does not sound nice and is certainly not so obvious, we will discuss this in more detail. You will have to work for balance. Think of someone who does yoga: he has practiced for hours before the scorpion handstand can be performed. This also works in your own life: continuous training ultimately leads to results.
What helps me, is putting things I find important into perspective. If I would send a letter to my older self in about 20 years, I would not have to mention that I should have spent more time with my family and less at my desk. Balancing your daily life is a conscious choice that you make every day.
When I was immersed in urgent tasks, a supervisor once told me: “pick your battles”. He repeated this every time I was standing at his desk with an overheated and stressed face. Choose very consciously what you give your energy to, and whether this gives a positive return on investment. If you choose to do more things that cost you energy than provide you energy, there is a negative number at the end of the line; you are out of balance.
Keep it simple
These do not necessarily have to be drastic choices or a dramatic adjustment in your life. Always start small to keep it clear: the small steps ultimately bring you further. Consider a conscious choice to leave work every day at 5.30 p.m. instead of 6.00 p.m. Or decide to start every day in silence with yourself and not with Instagram, Facebook and other social media. You can read more tips in my blog about a busy life.
You are the designer of your life
If you feel that your life is out of balance, your brain requires training. Forget the company or boss you work for, the people who ask for attention in your private life, or other things that prevent you from finding your balance: you are the designer of your life. There are always circumstances that influence certain choices, but ultimately the responsibility for making a final choice lies with you.
As Edward Norton said in the movie Fight Club: “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”
Don’t let that happen to you and start training for mental balance. Good luck!
