The night brings the past back to life. Pleasant memories float around in my head; a family party, an ice cream after cycling and birthday parties bring a smile to my face. Suddenly I am engulfed in loneliness. I become aware of my body in my bed. I kick off the heavy blankets and can feel the restlessness in my legs. No position seems to be able to calm them down. I turn on my side and softly sing a song. Then I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts drift off to you: what are you doing right now? Are you tossing around in bed, just like I am? Do you miss me, as I miss you? I close my eyes and try to clear my head. Slowly I start to sink away. My thoughts continue in my sleep and create a vivid dream, starring you.
It is dark out on the street. Only a few lamp posts are lit. I walk towards a house and before I know it, I’m looking through the window from a distance. You are sitting at the table with three others. It looks cozy. Someone looks up, I step back and quickly walk towards a wall. I hide behind it, hoping no one sees me. After a few minutes you come up. I’m trying to stay as quiet as possible, but you’ve already seen me. I feel small, scared, and sad. You get closer and put a coat around me. Then you hug me, causing the anxiety to slowly fade away. You sit down in front of me and start talking. I can’t hear what exactly you’re saying. I blink. Suddenly there are about eight people standing behind you, in such a way that I can’t leave. I am in danger, I have to get out of here; is what I think. The people around me are asking me a lot of questions in a threatening way; what do you feel, what do you think, come on then, say it!? I burst into tears and tell them that I don’t feel safe. At that moment, the people behind you fade, and you sit in front of me. You hug me again and make me feel safe. That’s how my dream ends.
The moment I wake up I feel like I’m floating and disoriented. “Where am I? Where are you? Oh wait, it was just a dream.” Slightly disappointed, I turn around. I remember exactly what I dreamed, it just seemed real. I felt all the emotions and physical touches. It seems like a memory from the past, but it is only an illusion, however ‘real’ it felt. A dream like this stays in my mind all day. I have to write it down, I have to get it out of my system. I would like to share the dream with you, because you played such a big part in it. Thousands of thoughts prevent me from doing the that. I am ashamed because I know that dreams can’t be controlled. Dreams are, in my opinion, desires, unprocessed emotions or subjects that still play in the background. The brain has to process these things, which sometimes can cause vivid dreams. I experience it as energy draining, but also as beautiful because there are so many messages in these dreams that can help me further improve my mental development.
Do you frequently have nightmares and want to get rid of them? Try reading the tips on this blog.