It’s that time of the year again; Ramadan! During the ninth month of the Islamic year, one million Muslims from our country dedicate themselves to a special period of cleansing and reflection. This period is known as the fasting month, and this is also called Ramadan. During Ramadan, you can not eat, drink, smoke or have sexual intercourse from sunrise until sunset. Because of the name ‘fasting month’, you might think that you will lose weight because of all that fasting. But this is usually not the case. After sunrise, you usually stay inactive because you want to save your energy. After sunset, people enjoy the iftar meal with their family. How do you stay healthy during Ramadan? In this article, you will find some tips.

Eat enough fibre

When the sun sets and it’s time to eat, make sure you choose food with plenty of fibres, protein and nutrients. Fibres are good for your body and will also provide you with a full feeling for a longer time. Try to eat whole grain products and vegetables and avoid the tasty puff pastry snacks. 

Eat slowly

It is very important to eat slowly and to chew properly during your meals. It is very likely that you’re hungry and want to eat a lot and fast after a long day of fasting. But eating too fast and too much can cause a lot of discomfort and stomach pain. It’s good to know that your stomach only gives a signal to your brain 20 minutes after you’ve had enough to eat. For this reason, it is wise to chew well and eat slowly.

Hydration

It is important to drink at least 2 litres of water during Ramadan to prevent dehydration and this is especially true when the temperature is rising. During breakfast, it is important to drink a few extra glasses of water. Just as with eating, it is very important to drink slowly to prevent stomach problems. Start with a few sips of water. Furthermore, it is helpful to avoid sodas: they contain a lot of calories and they can also cause pain in your stomach. Choose water and tea without sugar.

Keep moving

Being active during Ramadan always remains a challenge. Moving too intensively can be dangerous if you do not drink or eat anything, so try to do an activity that you can sustain. For example, you can take a walk. Try to approach it in a smart way by walking during the cool hours of the day.

It is the small adjustments that can make a big difference to go through Ramadan in a healthy way. Eat and drink more consciously and try to find the balance between exercise and relaxation.

Keep track in the NiceDay-app

Are you excited to try out these tips during Ramadan? Try to keep track of your food intake and your emotions by writing in your diary in the NiceDay app.

The sky is turning grey. After only a few minutes, I see thick raindrops falling on the garden tiles. I’m staring outside. In the background I can hear a mix of the rain and the song “Rollercoaster”, by Danny Vera. A wave of sadness comes over me and suddenly everything seems out of balance. I am at the threshold of adult life, fear takes over my body. I feel like I’m losing control. A voice inside of me says: “I am the one who has to take back control, otherwise everything will fall to pieces.”

Overwhelmed

Adult life is quite overwhelming from time to time. There are times where I feel like I can totally handle this and everything is going well. A lot of great things are coming my way. I’m enjoying these positive experiences, but in the back of my head I’m afraid that I’ll lose everything just as easily as it came to me. It feels like the world is falling away from under my feet, for only the slightest things. At times like these I feel small and I ask the universe why this is happening to me. This goes hand in hand with different emotions: lots of sadness, anxiety and anger. I feel paralyzed. All I can do is cry and everything hurts. It’s making me sick. The vulnerable child inside of me is coming out. I retreat to my home base, in the warm embrace of my mother.

Confrontation

After four days I notice a shift in my brain. I slowly start seeing the ligth again and I convince myself that this feeling will eventually pass. My freinds and family are there to support me. They are so angry for me and hate seeing me like this. “Your time will come”, they keep telling me. I get myself together, take a long shower and let all the weight slide off my shoulders. I tell myself: “It’s not worth letting this get you down like that. Look around you, Ghyta. Look at what you have RIGHT NOW, not at what you don’t have (yet) or could’ve had”. The more I repeat these words, the more I start to believe in them. And that is how, each day, I wake up with a little bit less pain and sorrow.

It can happen sometimes that drastic changes can bring you out of balance. Time will stand still for a little while. It will hurt, but eventually you will have the choice to wake up in the morning, thinking: today I choose to live.

Love, 

Ghyta

Every month, Ghyta writes moving stories about her own personal experiences. Did you love this blog, and would you like to read more of her writing? Click here.

As a parent, family life is one of the most intense periods of your life. Where you used to be annoyed by the alarm that goes off at 7, with a family you’re happy when you can sleep in until 7. In fact, if you’ve been able to sleep continuously for a few hours, you’re eternally grateful. During the day you work, but you are also busy with spreading bread, vacuuming crumbs, tidying up toys and –a never-ending story– doing laundry. A walk to the supermarket can feel like a wonderful moment for yourself. Nevertheless, it is important that you make time for yourself, even when you’re running a busy household. But how do you find balance between you and your family?

Exercise, food and sleep

An important basis for everyone in life is: exercise, food and sleep. Especially when you’re living a busy life, it is extra important to feel fit!

• Exercise. You can feel fit by exercising and working out on a regular basis. Find a sport that you enjoy and plan a number of fixed moments per week. Feel like you don’t have time to work out? There is always time. If you have a partner, you can alternate between putting the kids to bed and playing sports, setting the alarm an hour earlier or arranging a babysitter. It’s definitely worth it, because exercise is important! Read more about exercise.
• Food. To ensure that you eat healthy and varied, you can plan a few things and, for example, do weekly shopping. To be prepared is half the victory! Take a moment during the weekend to look up some fun recipes. Read more about healthy food. 
• Sleep. Getting enough sleep can be challenging with small children. Yet, you do have control over a number of things. For example, go to bed on time as much as possible (watch less Netflix). Sufficient exercise also ensures a better night’s sleep. Read more tips about sleeping.

Stay focussed on yourself

In addition to having a strong basis, it’s important to stay focussed on yourself. A family requires a great deal of your attention. Therefore, consciously plan moments for yourself. When I flew around the world as a flight attendant, these moments were integrated into my work. Flying colleagues with children always agreed: the moments for yourself “at destination” are wonderful! A moment to focus on yourself, in whatever form, breaks the grind and gives you energy. It gives you the peace and space to keep thinking about yourself. It is important that when you take care of the children together with your partner, both of you take time for yourself and encourage each other to do so.

Setting priorities

Think about what is important to you. You have little time, so what are your priorities? Think of work, education, sports, friends and holidays for example. This is how you set your priorities:

• Make a list of activities you would like to do.
• When you’re together with a partner, you can both make a list of things you think are important to do. Support, motivate and encourage each other in this!
• Also keep doing fun things together such as a night out, dinner or meeting friends.
• Good planning is everything, this will prevent it from “falling short”.

Babysitter

Call in help, you can use it! Both when you want to do things with your partner (if you have one) or with friends, and when you want to do something for yourself. A family is busy, so getting some help from a babysitter is more than welcome.

Feelings of guilt

Sometimes parents experience feelings of guilt when they do something for themselves. If you are experiencing these feelings, it is important to first ask yourself why this happens. Feelings of guilt are often taught by your environment (eg through education), or imposed by yourself (eg by your own norms and values). You can also:

• ask yourself why you feel guilty. Am I falling short as a parent? Am I doing something wrong?
• replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Instead of thinking: “I’m a bad parent because I’m abandoning my family,” you can also think: “I’m a great parent and I show my kids what you can get out of life.”

Finally

In the daily grind of a busy family, it can seem like you have no time for anything. First realize: there is always time. The question is, what are you doing with that time? A busy life forces you to set priorities and this can have a positive effect on your time management. You think about the things you think are truly important, and work on it accordingly.

Tip: you can use the NiceDay agenda to plan moments for yourself. Take care of yourself, your family, set priorities and remember that relaxed parents make happy children! Download the app here

It might not be the first thing you think off, but the Dutch beaches are ideal for beach yoga! Not only during the Summer months, but more than three quarters of the year the weather conditions on the Dutch coast are ideal for beach yoga. With more than 60 beach yoga locations in the Netherlands, you’re always sure of a location near you. In this blog, I will share some of my own beach yoga sessions, interesting facts about the Dutch beaches and an overview of the best beach yoga locations in the Netherlands.

Sandcastles

Below are some interesting facts about the Dutch coast:

• The Dutch coast is 432 kilometres long. Our beaches consist of 82% sand. The remainder mainly consists of human made structures, such as sea walls.
• To maintain the coastline as much as possible, 12 million cubic meters of sand is moved every year. The sand is brought in from places a few kilometres outside the coast.
• The beach of Schiermonnikoog has the largest average width (430 meters wide) in the Netherlands. Terschelling comes in second with 270 meters. The Zeeland beaches are the narrowest: for example, Vlissingen beach is only fifteen meters wide.

Sunshine

Many of us know that practicing yoga brings many health benefits, and yoga combined with the Sun has even more! Beach yoga is the way to go for an extra boost of vitamin D. Besides, sunlight has a cholesterol-lowering effect and it improves the oxygen level in the blood, which keeps all body tissue fit and healthy.

Beach yoga locations

There are more than 60 different locations on the Dutch coast where you can follow a beach yoga class. On the website of Buiten-Yoga you can easily find out which beach yoga location is near you.

Sometimes you think that certain behavior has important benefits. This maintains the behavior. But is it true that there are so many benefits? Or are you ignoring the disadvantages? For example: someone who is a perfectionist might think that he or she will not fail or get rejected if he of she does everything perfectly, but they may not see that this way of living can be exhausting in the long term and that you can not satisfy everybody.

A cost benefit analysis can help you get an overview of the real pros and cons of certain behavior. This gives insight and can be motivating. Read more and get started! 

What is a cost benefit analysis? 

A cost benefit analysis is a schematic overview of the pros and cons of a certain choice, belief, strategy or consideration. You can map the true costs and benefits in the short and long term. This is important because we are often inclined to only look at the benefits of certain behavior, or only look at the short term effects. These often differ from the long term effects. 

Where do you use it for?

The pros and cons that you put in your analyses, can help your gain insight in the effects or consequences of certain behavior. It can help you choose between various options or help you to initiate change. You can look at the overview regularly to stay motivated!

Get started!

Do you have something you are struggling with? Make a cost benefit analysis for this issue.

Write down which two options you want to compare. This can be a certain choice (start therapy or not) or a specific belief (“always be perfect” versus “OK is good enough”). Write down for both options what it costs you and how it benefits you, both on the short term and long term. Think about the effects for yourself, your environment, your future and so on. 

This is an example of a filled in cost benefit analysis between the choice to go in therapy of not: 

See if this analysis gives insight in your behavior. Which conclusions can you make based on this analysis? Do you look differently at your situation? Did it help you? Write down your experiences in NiceDay App and reflect on it regularly. Do you opt for change?

We have a very busy life. Rest and balance is difficult to maintain. By using your inner resources more often, you will experience more resilience and balance. How? You can read it in this blog.

In the book “Resilience: how to grow a unshakable core of calm, strength and happiness” (2018) Published by Harmony, Rick and Forrest Hanson offer tools to find more balance and harmony in your life, your work, and in relationships with others.

Basic needs: safety, fulfillment and connectedness

Every person has three basic needs: safety, fulfillment and connectedness. These basic needs are anchored in our ancient evolutionary past. Our brain provided our ancestors with their need for safety through finding shelter, for fulfillment through finding food, and for connectedness through ties with each other. Our circumstances have changed enormously in the last two hundred thousand years, but our brains have remained the same. Safety, fulfillment and connectedness are therefore still our basic needs.

According to Hanson, there are four important ways in which we try to meet our basic needs:

1. Recognize reality

We can better recognize reality by developing compassion, by being mindful and by learning.

1. Compassion: by accepting ourselves and others as we are, we can perceive more and better.
2. Mindful: by being mindful, what we experience it deeper and we can let it go again.
3. Learn: every lasting change in our mood, our view of the world of our behavior, requires learning. Healing, recovery and development are also forms of learning.

2. Focus on what is possible

Only a single experience of being locked up, powerlessness and defeat can lead to a feeling of “learned helplessness.” This determines how you handle the problem. It is therefore important to look at what you can do.

You can develop your ability by learning to hold on, by being thankful for what is, and by trusting more about yourself and others.

3. Think, feel and coordinate

Everyone experiences physical and emotional pain in their lives. Many people are constantly affected by this. In addition, to the real pain, the threat of pain comes from all sides; a truck that rushes past, the irritation on the face of a loved one. Even seizing opportunities can cause a threat of pain.

You can relieve the pain by taking time to rest, by investigating what motivates you, and by focusing on your own responsibilities and behavior regardless of what others do.

4. Live consciously

Look for what you like, where your talents are and what is dear to you. Give what you have to offer and know that you no longer have control. The days may seem long, but the years are short. Live consciously in the time you have.

You can promote your resilience by further developing your inner resources. This allows you to meet your needs and you will me meaningful to others.

 Which inner resources can you further develop?

To get through daily life, there are some basic needs that everyone needs to have fulfilled. To understand how this works for a human being, you can compare him to a machine.

Input

Food and drinks are two important needs. The human body needs nutrition in order to function just like a machine needs oil. So be aware that the higher the quality of the oil, the better the performance of the machine will be. When you’re eating unhealthy and consuming less vitamins, your performance will decrease. Healthy nutrition is important!

Self care

Self care consists of personal hygiene, but that’s not all. Attention is just as important. Without enough attention, the productivity of a machine will decrease. It will get dusty and things can break when you’re not taking care of the maintenance on a regular basis. The same happens to ourselves. How much attention do you pay to yourself? So regularly freshen yourself up, take care of your body when it’s needed, but also be nice to yourself mentally. It’s okay to give yourself a compliment each day!

Activity

It’s important to be active each day. You can for example think about work, study, hobbies or sports. When a machine is not doing enough, it can get rusty and get stuck. For a human being the same applies. You will experience less satisfaction when you’re not active enough. This will lead to some negative feelings and in turn will cause less interest in activities. Eventually the motivation will decrease so much until even the tiniest things will cost a lot of effort. So try being active each day so it gives you enough sense of fulfillment!

Rest

A machine that’s constantly going on and on, will start overheating at some point. When it’s not cooling down, it will lose its optimal productivity and will even break down eventually! For human beings it’s exactly the same. Our perseverance is huge, but when we’re going on forever, our performance will decrease. Planning enough moments to rest each day and making sure you’re able to relax each week is essential!

Programming

Every human being is unique and differs in its needs. To achieve the optimal productivity level of a machine, it has to be programmed in the right way. But that depends on a lot of circumstances. Sometimes it has to work some extra hours and it needs some more rest. Sometimes it has become a bit dusty and it will take a bit longer to get going again. The same happens to human beings. It’s a search for the right balance and getting to know your personal boundaries. So go through all your needs and check if everything in your daily life is programmed in the right way and make sure everything is tuned well!

Are your needs well balanced?

Do you need help to find the right balance and to identify your needs? The coaches of NiceDay would love to help you!

Do you want more time for yourself to recover from all you appointments? How much time do you take for your rest and relaxation? Do you have sufficient balance between your social life and time for yourself? Read more about it in this blog.

The overwhelming feeling of a busy social life

The invitations from your friends, the reactions to your photos on instagram and all other social activities may give you the feeling that you are a nice person and that people want to get together with you.

Or maybe you have a social life because you are afraid of missing things. The fear of missing out the social things is called FOMO. Because you are afraid of missing something, you accept all invitations and never cancel anything. Not even when you are tired. Do you ever have the feeling that you do not want to miss those appointments and that you do not want to disappoint your friends? Then it is possible you are suffering from FOMO.

Your energy is like a battery

It is important to allow yourself time to relax and recover from any stress. A person can be compared to a battery. The energy of the battery is drained by all efforts, stress, annoyances or even by contacts with people. You can recharge this battery at moments of rest, recovery and relaxation. Or with other ways of self-care.

How do you ensure a good balance between social life and yourself?

It is important to find a balance between your social life and time for yourself. Here are some tips:

1. Take plenty of rest, time for yourself and ensure a good night’s sleep. Do you have many appointments? Try to keep some moments free for yourself. That way you won’t get tired of your appointments.
2. Know that it is okay to reschedule or cancel an appointment. Your friends and family will understand if you need time for yourself.
3. Discover for yourself which circumstances cause you to experience tension, stress or when you feel overwhelmed.
4. You can create some moments of rest for yourself during appointments with friends, for example by going to the toilet.
5. Use mindfulness or meditation exercises to experience peace.
6. You can enter a thought record. This allows you to see an overview of the feelings, thoughts and event that you experienced during those appointments. Give it a try.

NiceDay app

Try to schedule appointments with friends and the moments for yourself in the NiceDay app. You can also reflect on how you experienced it.

Hello dear reader,

It has been a while, but here I am again. The past few weeks have been turbulent and in my previous blog about making a plan for my workload, I promised to tell you how this plan is working for me. Here it is!

What is going well?

Every workday I start my day with making a to-do list, to get a good overview of things I have to do and what I can postpone or even cancel. It causes less stress at work and the urgency of my tasks are more clear.

At the same time, there is one thing that has given me an enormous amount of rest. I started walking to work more often instead of going by bike. Sometimes I walk with my boyfriend, which gives us quality time to talk to each other. Sometimes I take a meditative walk and I reflect on the day. After a working day, a walk makes my head much emptier than a hectic bike ride.

In the past month I have succeeded to work out twice a week. Sometimes even three times a week! This makes me feel better and better. 

Finally, I have planned plenty of fun trips to look forward to. I still have a wellness voucher lying around, I am going to my family next weekend and I have booked a sun holiday in January.

… and what does not go so well?

It is still difficult for me not to be constantly busy with work in my spare time. I often check my mail, receive calls in my “private time” and often do a work related task on my days off. In my work pressure plan I had stated that I would block days as completely “work-free”. In practice, this is quite difficult. My boyfriend works in the same place as I and many of my colleagues are also close friends, which means I often talk about work in my spare time.

This makes it difficult sometimes to find my peace and not let my work completely dominate my private life. I notice that things that I normally enjoy (social activities, extensive cooking in the evenings or even writing this blog) can cause me stress. These things, which I usually enjoy, start to feel like a “must”.

And now?

While writing this blog I ask myself how I can succeed in making my work less dominant in my life. I think it comes down to being less hard on myself.

Not in the mood for a birthday party? It is fine, I can cancel if I am not feeling so well. Or drop by for an hour and crawl into bed early. Don’t feel like cooking? Occasionally, I can also just order some comfort food or spend quality time with my boyfriend or friends by spontaneously going out to eat.

And writing this blog? I learned that I should never force myself to write, but only write if I have inspiration. In the meantime, I have learned that the editors of NiceDay always respond incredibly understanding, even if I am unable to deliver a blog on time. In the end, this blog is about my mental well-being and I need to be able to write this well. By not making “fun things” an obligation, they also remain fun without having to add more “tasks” in addition to my work!

 The balance between work and private life remains a personal search for me that will take some time. When I look at my work pressure plan, I have succeeded in many of my personal points. I want to continue step by step. In this way I keep getting better at maintaining my boundaries  and my free time. Of course I would love to share my steps here!

Love,

Mara

Do you have any tips to keep the balance between work and private life? Let me know in the comments below. I like to read your tips 🙂

You will probably remember this. On vacation with your family and you are very excited about reading your new book in the back seat. When the highway makes way for hairpin bends, your eyes stay focused on the letters in front of you. After a full 30 seconds of slalom, you realize: “Mom, Dad, I’m sick!” “Then put that book away!” your parent says. You let the exciting story for what it is and soon nausea disappears; your body is in balance again.

Your body reacts with an imbalance

Taking action when you are physically out of balance is logical. The senses – eyes, ears, muscles – communicate with the brain when something is wrong and when corrections are needed in order not to fall, feel sick or perform an exercise properly. The brain processes all input and coordinates the body to regain balance. Why is finding the physical balance so much easier than finding mental balance?

Why do we want to be busy?

We get upset when we have a lot on our to-do list and only a limited time for implementation. Yet it happens to all of us. Sarah Cameron, life coach, shares her theory: “being busy” makes us feel important, it is a means to escape. This can be an escape from a fear of doing nothing, being alone, or not being appreciated. In many cases, it has to do with learning to set boundaries and making choices. Danielle Orner, writer, actress and yoga practitioner says it more nuanced ” Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender. “

You can train balance

Given that “making an effort” for something that does not sound nice and is certainly not so obvious, we will discuss this in more detail. You will have to work for balance. Think of someone who does yoga: he has practiced for hours before the scorpion handstand can be performed. This also works in your own life: continuous training ultimately leads to results.

What helps me, is putting things I find important into perspective. If I would send a letter to my older self in about 20 years, I would not have to mention that I should have spent more time with my family and less at my desk. Balancing your daily life is a conscious choice that you make every day.

When I was immersed in urgent tasks, a supervisor once told me: “pick your battles”. He repeated this every time I was standing at his desk with an overheated and stressed face. Choose very consciously what you give your energy to, and whether this gives a positive return on investment. If you choose to do more things that cost you energy than provide you energy, there is a negative number at the end of the line; you are out of balance.

Keep it simple

These do not necessarily have to be drastic choices or a dramatic adjustment in your life. Always start small to keep it clear: the small steps ultimately bring you further. Consider a conscious choice to leave work every day at 5.30 p.m. instead of 6.00 p.m. Or decide to start every day in silence with yourself and not with Instagram, Facebook and other social media. You can read more tips in my blog about a busy life.

You are the designer of your life

If you feel that your life is out of balance, your brain requires training. Forget the company or boss you work for, the people who ask for attention in your private life, or other things that prevent you from finding your balance: you are the designer of your life. There are always circumstances that influence certain choices, but ultimately the responsibility for making a final choice lies with you.

As Edward Norton said in the movie Fight Club: “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”

Don’t let that happen to you and start training for mental balance. Good luck!