I don’t feel good lately


the last 3 weeks I’ve been having a hard time with myself, I don’t sleep well, I eat badly, I’m always tired, I don’t feel like doing anything anymore, I always have my mind elsewhere. Do you have any tips on how I can get better and leave everything behind.

Answered by NiceDay Psychologist Britt Stoker

Thank you for submitting your question. Sorry to hear you've been having a really hard time lately. You indicate that you sleep badly, you eat badly, you are always tired, don't feel like doing anything and your mind is elsewhere.

If you are not feeling well and feel tired, it is difficult to keep busy. The difficult thing is that staying busy is the best recipe to feel more energetic and cheerful again. If you stay at home lying on the couch, or maybe stay in your bed, you won't gain any positive experiences. You also have a lot of time to worry. The result: you feel worse and worse.

If you manage to keep busy, you gain positive experiences and you have less time to worry. This provides more energy and helps you to climb out of the valley again. Doing things works best if you try not to look at activities in black and white: to do or not to do. Look for the grey area in between. Every time you want to cancel or unplan an appointment, try to look at what is possible. Remember that doing something or not doing something at all will not help you. But beware: doing something that is too much for you right now will not benefit your mood and energy either. You go beyond your limits. The challenge is to look for that which lies in between; undertake an activity that does not exceed your limit.

Three tips to help you further:

  1. Is it too much to go out with a friend all night? Adjust the appointment to what you can handle now. Eating something together or just drinking a cup of tea may ask less of you. You can also take a short walk together. What would it be like if this friend came to you for a cup of tea or a short walk? That is of course also possible! If this is too much for you, call each other and schedule an appointment that better suits your energy level.
  2. Is exercising too much right now? Don't just look at whether or not you exercise in black and white, but look at the grey area. What can you do instead of exercising? For example, go for a walk when you would actually exercise. Or go for a bike ride. You can also go for a 10-minute run instead of taking a whole workout class. Daily walking or running in the open air has a positive effect on a gloomy mood.
  3. Not in the mood for a busy birthday? A short visit is also an option. You can also see if you can celebrate the birthday in a different way.

Finally, it's good to know that you don't always feel better right after an activity. Give it some time. Over time you will notice that you will start to feel better, but it is important to keep doing things.

Also know that you don't have to do it alone! You can follow online therapy via NiceDay at various institutions, click here for more information. Whether you are entitled to reimbursement from the insurance depends on whether your Dutch insurance is still in effect. It is best to check this with your insurer.

Via NiceDay you can also independently follow the steps of an action plan to feel less gloomy: https://niceday.app/library/ik-voel-me-somber-en-ik-wil-me-graag-beter-voelen/

Hope this helps!



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