It is January 2020. I only realized last week that we have entered a new decade. Normally I never make a big deal about changing the year, but this time it made me think. Will it be a time of success, health, forgiveness, love and happiness? I cannot foresee the future, but I can decide on which parts of my life I will focus my effort in 2020 and in the new decade.
As it looks now, 2020 will be a success in the field of education. I still have half a year to go and if I do my best in the last six months of my study, I will get my master’s degree. I am looking forward that after 5.5 years of studying I will finally be able to burn my books (muhaha)!
But let’s not get ahead of things ;-). I hope that I can enjoy my study a little more in the coming six months instead of only studying for a good grade and deadlines. After all, it is the field that I have a lot of passion for. What I will do after my studies? I don’t know yet. By that time I will see what comes my way.
How will my mental health state be? I don’t want to say anything about that, because this has fluctuated a lot in the past year. I feel a bit more stable now, partly due to the dose of medication I am taking, but it is also because the PTSD has been treated well.
Somewhere in this decade I hope for closure, but this requires exposure first. How am I going to tackle it? I don’t know yet. In addition, there are some inner battles that I have to face, but I have agreed with myself that I want to stay close to myself and not make hasty decisions. It is my process and I am in charge of it. I do feel that this decade I will succeed in going through life as well as PTSD free, as well as depression free.
What about love?
Yes, what about love? Let’s just say that I don’t shut myself off, like I did all my life. I don’t go looking for love, I don’t believe in that. If it comes, then it comes. If it doesn’t come, than that’s also no problem.
I often wonder what happiness actually is. Recently I have discovered that happiness starts with appreciating the small things in life. If you only seek happiness in the big things, then you can search for a long time and you will never be satisfied, because you want to surpass the big things. So with this in mind, I am entering the new decade with the hope that I can gradually find happiness in myself.
I wish all readers a very happy and healthy 2020!