When depressed you experience mental and physical complaints. A depressed mood is often described as feeling down, sad, hopeless. You will experience less pleasure in the things you do. The things you normally do will be experienced as less fun. There’ll also be changes in appetite, sleep, concentration and self-image. When sad feelings stay, we can often speak of depression. When you’re depressed it feels hard to do daily things like grocery shopping, take care of the household or doing paperwork.

What do you feel when you are depressed?

People with depression are mostly passive, he or she will take less action. Because of this, feelings of guilt will come at play. As a depressed person you can feel like a burden to the social environment.

What can you do when your partner is depressed?

It can be hard to deal with a depressed partner. However, it is possible to support your loved one with a depression (this also applies family members of friends) and also take care of yourself. What do you?

• Try to investigate: what is it your partner is dealing with?
• Go with your partner to the doctor or psychologist appointments.
• Try to support without judgement. Listen, understand, be patient and encourage treatment. Let your partner know that he or she will get through this with help. Show your faith.
• Let your partner be in charge but don’t be too agreeable. Putting pressure on your partner is counterproductive. Being too decisive yourself can also cause your partner to be more passive.
• Talk with your partner: what do you need?
• Think twice before you make appointments with your partner. It is important to stick to agreements you and your partner made.
• Be aware of small steps in the process. It is not all about the end goal: is today better than yesterday? Compliment your partner about it.
• Be aware of the feelings of guilt experienced by your partner.
• Confront your partner (carefully) when he or she doesn’t stick to appointments. 
• Keep your feet on the ground and try not to go along with despair. Don’t feel responsible for resolving the depression. Listening is already a lot.
• Try not to criticize, to lecture and don’t try to tell your partner what and what not do to.
• Focus on healthy eating, exercising together. Create a positive low stress environment.

Take care of yourself!

Take care of yourself while taking care of your partner. Dealing with someone with depression can be difficult. Keep doing fun and relaxing things, keep in touch with good friends and family members: talk with others about your situation.

In need of support?

For example via PsyQ and Synaeda you can be treated with NiceDay for depression. Register with a referral letter from the doctor. Click here for more information