In previous blogs I shared with you that I am gay and had trouble coming out. This time I want to discuss an uncomfortable situation that happened last week. First of, let me start by saying I don’t blame my father. But here is what happened:  My father and I went to people we don’t know to demolish a second hand garden shed for my new house. These people asked “Oh did you start living together with your girlfriend?”. My father replied: “No he has no girlfriend.” The people reply again with: “Oh, it will come.” The conversation ended with an uncomfortable smile on my part and a yes from my father.

For me personally, these kinds of situations are extremely uncomfortable. I want to say that I am gay. But on the other hand, is it appropriate at these moments? Also, I somehow  feel a little bit hurt by my father’s answer. Would he still not accept me after 2.5 years? Or didn’t he want to confront these people? When I returned home in the evening I started thinking about the situation and it occurred to me that these type of situations happen more often in my daily life.

The whole situation felt heavy for me and I have many questions in my head. Do I have to learn how to deal better with these situations? Or should I avoid situations like, this in order not to hurt myself? Something that is almost impossible. Or should I just say that I am gay?

I have not yet found a clear answer for myself on how to deal with this. I often feel uncomfortable after these kind of situations, but this time I also felt quite sad. I had not expected such statements from my own father. Rather I would see more support from my father. On the other hand, am I not overthinking the situation?

What would you do?

How do you deal with comparable situations? Are you someone who worries, or that one ear in the other one out type of person? ?

And if you are straight: ask yourself if you unconsciously put someone in an uncomfortable situation. And if someone told you that they were gay, would you try to let the situation go by, or would you do anything to improve the situation?

Hug,

Bert