Do you recognize that feeling? You are overwhelmed by setbacks, your PTSS is very present, your depression will not get any better. I want to flee. I want to pack my suitcases and leave. Alone, I don’t need company now. In my mind I’ve already made three trips: to France, Portugal and Zeeland. In my mind, yes. Because actually going is a different story.

Obligations

We, working / studying people, have so many obligations. You can’t just go on holiday if you feel like it. You have to request free days from your work or take a break from studying. You’ve to consider what is more important: work / study or vacation? I guess that the average person chooses the first. I would also do that. Yet I keep looking for short holidays in Europe. Sometimes it comes to me that I almost press the ‘book’ button, but at that moment I close the page. But why do I not just go? It shouldn’t matter what they think of me at work…

Leave yourself to your fate

What makes it so difficult to admit to yourself that you have to get away, to recharge? I myself have a great sense of responsibility. I can’t just not show up at work and leave. If I do, then a great sense of guilt will come over me. They need me. But, I also need myself. If I give in too much to my work, I keep on running away from my problems. Then I’m not able to process my feelings and neither do I work on myself. So finding a balance is very important. But how do you do that if you’re not used to it, like me?

Insights

I had a conversation about it recently. Someone said to me: give me a list of six things you like to do and are able to do if you just want to relax or if you are off. I made the following list:

1. Meeting friends
2. Ballet
3. Running
4. Visiting another city by myself
5. Write
6. Walking in the nature

It’s so easy! I made this list in no time and it helped me to create a better overview. Otherwise it keeps going through my mind and I will not take any action. I advise you to make a list and take a day off to fulfill it. I’m going to do it too. Who knows what it will bring me!

Quote on this story: Put yourself on the top of your to-do list – It’s simply Nichole

Love, Ghyta