Love

Love is a universal theme. A lot of books, movies and musicals have been written about love. Unfortunately, a lot of these stories are about romantic love and almost never about self-love. People spend a lot of time fantasising about finding ‘true love’ and long to find someone they can call their soulmate. What if you turn it around and make it all about self-love instead of finding ‘true love’. How about being ‘the one’ for yourself instead of searching for the one?

Self-acceptance

Research shows that self-acceptance is an important part of self-love. This means that you accept yourself completely; the good things about you and all your flaws. Imagine how you perceive your best friend and try to accept and perceive yourself the same way. By doing this you can develop a more positive self image and this is a essential part of a healthy and happy (romantic) relationship. Researchers found out that the people who show more self-acceptance are more likely to engage in healthy relationships. These people show less jealous behaviour, they are less likely to seek confirmation through others and are more caring towards others.

Achieving self-acceptance: how?

Love is a verb meaning that you’ll have to actively work on it and this is important to remind yourself daily. Here are a couple of ways how you can achieve more self-acceptance:

• Be proud of yourself. Try to keep up a diary in which you write daily about something you’re proud of. Try to do this daily and hopefully this can help you to feel more proud of the things you achieve. For instance you can write down “I cooked a delicious meal for myself”. It’s all about the small and simple things you do for you.
• Try to be more compassionate. You have to deal 24/7 with yourself and the more kindness you show to yourself, the more you will like yourself.
• Surround yourself with friends and family that are close to you. This will help you to accept yourself more. A social safety net helps us to cope with all the struggles in life and makes us feel connected in this life.
• Take yourself out on a date. Go see a movie by yourself, treat yourself a nice cup of coffee or make a trip just by yourself. Going on dates with yourself can help you become more comfortable with being alone and make you realise “I am enough”.

Last but not least: be patient with yourself. It takes time to achieve more self-acceptance and it’s a process you go through.

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Try to keep a diary for a week about the the things you’re proud of.