This Monday, the 21st of January, it will be Blue Monday. Blue Monday is the name given to the date for the most depressing day of the year. This day was created in 2005 by British psychologist Cliff Arnall. He devised a formula to determine which day of the year would be the most depressing. In this blog post you can read more about Blue Monday and what effects it has on our society.

Why this specific day?

According to mr. Arnall, the ‘Monday of the last full week of January’ is the day when most people feel sad or depressed.. This has probably to do with the following:

• Good intentions have already failed,
• Holidays seem far away,
• Days are dark.
• It’s the first working day of the week.

All these factors come together in the month of January, which is why, according to mr. Arnall, this particular day would be the most depressing day of the year.

Tips:

Work from home

Nothing as annoying as the day starts to go wrong by standing in a traffic jam or delayed public transport and arriving late at work. Try to avoid this by, for example, working from home for once. Work in the comfort zone of your own living room. Turn on the lights, turn on the laptop and go

Do something fun with lunch

If working from home isn’t an option for you, do something fun during or after lunch. Try to abandon the dark, and leave depressing thoughts for what they are. Order some goodies and afterwards, for example, go for a walk around the park with your colleagues. Nothing better than a nice meal and a dose of fresh air!

Focus on the things that go well

We all have setbacks. It is important on such a day that you focus on things that do go well, instead of things that do not go well. This way you give yourself positive energy, and that will certainly help you get through the day!

Go exercise

Last but not least: go exercise! Whether you do this before you go to work or after work, it helps you in any case. Through sports you release various substances that make you a happier person. Want to know more? You can read this article.

NiceDay app
Do you also suffer from Blue Monday? Use the NiceDay app to note what went wrong, and why that went wrong. You can learn from your mistakes. Good luck the 21st!

It’s December. That means 2018 is almost over. When this blog post is online, there are only 20 days left from 2018. Personally, I think that 2018 flew by. Which is a good thing, but also a pity. I met new people, worked hard, cried a lot, but I also laughed. It was an exciting year. Time for some reflection!

Beautiful people

2018 was a year in which I met new people. Each of these people taught me something. From one I have learned to see life as rain and sunshine. There is sun behind every dark cloud, you can always rely on that. I have learned from others that the length of a friendship does not necessarily equal the quality of the friendship. If it feels right, it feels right. No matter how long you know each other. I have also learned to have trust in the opposite sex. He taught me that men also have another side; a supportive and non-judgmental side. Each and every one of these people got a place in my heart.

Setbacks

2018 was not really my year. It was another year in which I suffered from depression and PTSD. Some days were fine, but also a lot of days were hard. In one way or another, I always managed to get myself out of it. Otherwise it would not have been possible for me to write this blog post right now! My mental health problems will not suddenly disappear, but I really hope that in 2019 I’m able to let go of my demons. Another setback was not getting my diploma this year. I really wanted to close this chapter. It was difficult to accept this, but in the end you can do nothing but accept and go on.

Self-development

2018 was also a year of self-development, despite all the setbacks. I have learned that I have to put myself first, instead of other people or studying. If I don’t work, the rest will not work either. It is difficult to do this, since I often want to do everything at once. However, every now and then I’m able to give myself a dose of self love. This is something I will continue to work on in 2019. In addition, I have learned to give a little less. In certain friendships for example. If I give too much and get just little in return, it will cost me too much energy. In a friendship or in any other relationship, it’s a matter of giving and taking. Otherwise the relationship is not in balance. This led me to disconnect with a good friend. This was very difficult at first, but after a while it felt like the right choice. In 2019 I hope to develop myself a bit more.

And 2019?

2019 is a year in which I have a lot of time to work on myself and on my depression and PTSD. It’s scary. But I should not run away from it. It is time to trust myself, to trust that I can handle the fight. I am no longer that girl from the past who always pushed all of her emotions away because she could not handle it at that moment. Now I am the grown-up Ghyta who is, with some help, strong enough to face the demons of the past.

Quote with this story: I’m in repair, I’m not together but I am getting there – John Mayer (in repair)

Love,

Ghyta

We already know that exercise is healthy. However, we consider strength training as something we do to get stronger and look good. You might not know that it also has a lot of health benefits! Let us walk you through some of the benefits.

Fat loss and strength training

Research shows that obese adults who do strength training lose more weight than those who do not, also a bigger part of the weightloss is fat (Beavers et al, 2017). It sounds a little off, since you do not burn that many kilocalories by doing strength training. However, since your body uses a lot of oxygen during the training, you will keep on burning kilocalories after the training too. So even when you are all cozied up on the couch while watching Netflix! Next to that, strength training will allow your muscles to grow. This will also cause fat loss, because muscles burn more kilocalories than fat. So in other words: compared to cardio training, strength training causes you to burn fewer kilocalories during your training; but you burn more kilocalories in moments of rest.

Depression and strength training

Of course, strength training is no magic pill. But it can help prevent and reduce symptoms of depression. Exercise in general has a positive effect on you mental well-being, since it affects your hormone household. We explain more about this subject in this blog post. However, strength training specificly seems to have an even bigger effect. Research shows that depressed people who do strength training experience less complaints.

Reducing back pain

Strength training is probably the last on your list when you suffer from back pain. However, research shows that strength training can reduce back pain significantly (Jackson, Shepard & Kell, 2011). This might be because you develop body stability and because it gives you the opportunity to slowly build intensity.

A healthy heart

Up until recently people believed that strength training might not be the best idea for cardiac patients. But the contrary has been shown: cardiac patients who do strength training perform better in cardio training because of the increased amount of muscle mass and the quality of life increases (Gezondheidsnet, 2016). It also affects the blood pressure in a positive way. The blood pressure will increase during the training, but after the training it well reduce slowly. This is also the case for people with a healthy blood pressure.

The effects on your sugars

Your body gets more sensitive for insulin as a result of strength training. Or in other words: your body uses the produced insulin more efficiently. This is because muscle is the most (insulin-) sensitive tissue in your body, increasing your muscle mass means increasing the total body insulin sensitivity. And this means you can process glucose more easily. This can help prevent or reduce diabetes type 2.

Self confidence

How great does it feel when you are able to open that can of peas by yourself and you can carry that heavy bag of groceries without help? You are totally independent! Next to that, your body will change and your muscles are starting to show. This does not only mean that you will feel better, but also your posture will improve! A good posture will give your self confidence a boost (Brinol, Petty & Wagner, 2009).

NiceDay app

Plan a training in your Daily Planner on the NiceDay app. Describe how you feel after the training. The next time you don’t feel like training, you can look back at this message and remember how good you feel afterwards!

Practicing sport can be though. Especially when you are not feeling quite well, it is sometimes hard to drag yourself to the gym. On top of that, it is dark and cold outside, heavy rainfalls and you were just planning to go to the gym today. Sometimes, everything stops you. You have no motivation to go outside and you prefer to stay in your bed. Yet, deep inside, you know that practicing sports is good for you. With this home workout you can practice a sport, without leaving the door. Can’t be better, right?

How do sports help against depression?

As you might know, after training you are usually bubbling with energy, you have a tidy mind and you feel a lot happier than before you started exercising. But why is that? And what exactly causes that effect?Whenever you start exercising, 3 important hormones in your body are released, namely:

• Endorphins,
• Dopamine,
• Serotonin.

These are so-called neurotransmitters. Substances that ensure that your nerve cells can communicate well with each other. Endorphins, also called the ‘feel good drug’, provide a feeling of euphoria and reduce pain. Dopamine provides motivation, reward and gives you a happy feeling. And last but not least, serotonin, also called the happiness hormone. This hormone regulates your appetite, sleep and state of mind.

The home workout

A good workout contains a combination of strength and fitness exercises. We understand that sometimes it can be difficult to start. That is why we are not going to make it a long training. With this beginners home workout, you will be done in 20 minutes!

Exercise 1: Jumping Jacks

We use this exercise as a warming-up. While performing this exercise, make sure that you are standing upright. Tighten your abdominal muscles, slightly bend your knees and jump apart with your legs. Swing your arms upwards at the same time, and repeat at a pace that is right for you. Do this for about 25 seconds to start with.

Exercise 2: High Knees

The second exercise has a double effect: it a extension for the warm-up and you immediately train your core (abdominal muscles) with it. While performing this exercise, ensure that your feet are at hip width apart. Lift your knees one by one towards your chest, as high as you can. Make sure you keep your abdominal muscles tight. Do the exercise at a speed that is comfortable for you. Start off with 20 seconds, for example.

Exercise 3: Lunges

With the third exercise, the lunges, you train both the large leg muscles and the small muscles, which provide balance. With this exercise you train both your legs and your buttocks. Start this exercise with your feet on shoulder width apart, and your abdominal muscles slightly tightened. Take a step of about half a meter with one leg. You are now standing apart with your legs. Now bend your knee, making sure that both legs are in an angle of about 90 degrees. Is it not? Then adjust your step!
When bending your knee, make sure that your front knee does not pass your toes. To begin with, do 10 repetitions per side (for example).

Exercise 4: Squats

After the lunges, we will tackle the legs and buttocks one more time: we’re gonna squat! While performing this exercise, pay close attention to your back. Keep your back straight at all times. Also make sure that your knees do never cross your toes.

Start with your feet at shoulder width, and let your feet point outwards a little. Now poke your knees, and make a movement as if you are going to sit on a chair. Keep looking straight ahead while performing this action. If you are having problems with keeping balance you could stretch your arms forwards. Pay close attention to the tension on your abdominal muscles and your back. Now move up again. Start with 10 repetitions and increase the amount of repetitions slowly.

Exercise 5: Bridge

The bridge is an exercise where you train many more muscle groups than you would initially think of. It is, however, a relatively simple exercise: you lie on your back on the floor, bend your knees and put your feet flat on the ground. Keep your feet on about hip width apart. Be careful that you don’t place your feet too close to your butt.

Try to tighten your entire body: both your back, legs, buttocks and your core. Push your feet into the ground and squeeze your buttocks together as you lift your buttocks. You now form ‘the bridge’. Try to hold this position for a few seconds, then return to the starting position. Start this exercise with 10 repetitions and build it up slowly as it suits you.

Exercise 6: Push-Ups

And to finish things off, we have the Push-Up as the last exercise. The Push-Up is one of the oldest and most famous exercises in the fitness world. It is a so-called compound exercise: your don’t just train your chest with it, but you also train your shoulders, triceps and abdominal muscles. An ideal afterburner!

When performing a Push-Up, your posture is extremely important. You can perform the Push-Up in different ways, but not every form is equally suitable; some forms can cause injuries.

Because a Push-Up is usually quite a heavy exercise, I advise you to start on your knees. Start in the plank position with stretched arms. Make sure your knees are on the floor (or not, if you feel strong enough to do so). Tighten your core, buttocks and back. Bend your arms and let your body come to the ground, but make sure you do not push your elbows all the way out. Try to keep your ams close to your body.

As soon as you almost hit the ground, stop. Breathe out and push yourself up. Congratulations, you’ve just done your first Push-Up! Perform this exercise to the maximum number of repetitions that you can perform.

Are you going to do this exercise? Let us know!

Dear friend,

I never thought about it until last week. But I am so grateful that you wanted to take part of my fight, by supporting me. I am grateful for all the messages, phone calls, postcards and emails you send me. They seem to come exactly at the right time. When I read your messages, I get a boost. A boost that I sometimes need to continue fighting. You let me relativize and self-reflect when I can’t do that by myself. When I take your cards out of the mailbox and see your handwriting, I automatically get a smile on my face. Sometimes it moves me, I think it’s great that someone like you exists! I keep the postcards in my sight. When I go through them I read the texts, so that same smile appears on my face again.

Dear person I don’t talk with anymore,

I also want to thank you, even though you are no longer present in my immediate environment. You showed me a point of improvement: to stop giving too much to others by putting myself second, third or even to a lower place. It cost me a lot of energy and I did not get anything in return. After a long time I found out that it was time for a change. I decided to place myself a bit higher in the rank and noticed that I felt much better. It did not seem to matter to you. At first that was hard, but I now accepted it as it is. I can’t change others, but I can change myself. Thank you for reminding me.

Dear psychotherapist,

And then you, who helped me to open up. You had a lot of patience and helped me to get to the place where I am now. You’ve seen me struggling. You gave me room to be myself. I did not have to talk if I did not want to. In the end it came naturally because you won my trust. You taught me that certain events in your life make you stronger. If they weren’t there, then life was not life. It was a long journey, but I feel that of all the people I have seen, you have helped me the best. I am eternally grateful!

Dear Ghyta,

Finally, I want to thank you. You, who had a hard day every day. Not living but surviving. You wanted to disappear but decided to fight. Because that voice deep in your heart somehow knew how to keep on fighting even though it seemed impossible. You showed me how strong I am. That I can beat this phase of my life. That I possess willpower and perseverance. If it weren’t for my depression, I might have become a very different person than I am now. I have learned to let go of things, to divide my energy and above all: not to give up.

It’s almost time to close this chapter of my life – Ghyta

A lot of love, Ghyta

Although we all want life to be about roses, it’s not the reality. Yet, we often act as if. For example, you might say “everything is good!” when you are actually having a bad day? Or maybe you do something because you think people expect it from you, but you don’t really feel like it? How often do you ignore fatigue to do something nice with friends? How often do you ignore signals, and that voice that tells you that you need to rest?

Ups and downs

Our society is organized in such a way that we all have to be successful. For example, on social media you see nothing but joyful and beautiful people. If things aren’t going that well for you, you might feel like you’re failing.

Yesterday I spoke to someone who is recovering from a burnout. She said she never experienced ups and downs before. She thought that life was just always ‘okay’. Still, she got a burnout earlier this year, completely out of the blue. In the end it turnt out that she had been pushing her boundaries for years.

Why admitting you’re not okay is important

Life is not always fun and that’s okay. However, sometimes it feels like you have to like everything. If you don’t like something, you start to complain. Not accepting that life can be less fun too. If I am sad, I will just ignore it until I can no longer ignore it.  However, ignoring signals takes a lot of energy. Rest is also important, how boring it may sound. Embracing sadness gives you space to deal with it, to process it. Hard? Absolutely! I don’t know if I will ever learn it, but I do believe that it starts with listening to your body and your mind (and of course your heart).

Lately you feel less and less happy. You often feel sad, you have little energy and you experience sleep. On top of that, you find yourself feeling constantly tense and you suffer from unexplained physical symptoms such as a headache, back pain or nausea. You decide to go to the family doctor, and he refers you to a psychologist. The psychologist advises you to take things a bit easier at work, and asks if you can come in every week during office hours. However, how are you going to talk about this at work? Will they take you seriously? You are not ‘really sick’, right?

Unfit for work

It is not so long ago that people with psychological problems were declared unfit for work almost automatically. There are still many prejudices about people with psychological complaints or disorders. It is being said that they do not handle their work well and are ill often. In this way, you are doubted as a person. It is therefore quite logical that many people still prefer not to talk about their mental complaints or illness at work.

Being open about your psychological complaints at work

However, it is best for your recovery to be open about your psychological problems at work. In this way, it can be taken into account for work-related issues. What can help with this is to first talk about it with a close colleague. This colleague will probably understand and support you. This lowers the threshold for telling your boss and possibly other colleagues.

What to tell your boss?

Before you tell your boss, there are a number of tips that you could take with you. Consider what you want to say exactly in advance. Also think about what you need within your job for your recovery. So make clear agreements about this and do not be persuaded to do something that you do not fully support. For example, do you want to work on fewer projects, fewer responsibilities, or focus more on what you really like? Who knows, maybe you can also work a little less if this helps you. Do not be afraid to discuss this with your boss, because your boss also wants you to recover quickly. This does only good to your productivity! Maybe your boss can also help you to tell other colleagues, for example during a meeting or in an e-mail. This promotes understanding in most cases. Who knows, maybe there are more colleagues with psychological problems and you can help each other.

What to do in case of a negative reaction?

Maybe you are worried that your boss will react negatively to your psychological symptoms. In this case try to empathize with his role: how would you react if you were in his position? Probably you would only be worried about your employee. Keep this in mind during the conversation. Yet it is possible that his first reaction is not as positive as you had hoped. Be aware that from an outside point of view, you can not see how you feel. Maybe your boss finds it hard to understand that you are have trouble. Try to explain the situation as well as possible. Give him enough time to respond. Probably he needs to get used to it for a while and will react differently later on.

Going to work with psychological complaints: is this possible?

Sometimes, working can also help a lot in recovering from psychological problems. Work offers structure, social contacts and appreciation, all points that can contribute enormously to psychological recovery and quality of life. From 2013, more and more is being done to get people with a mental illness to work and to keep them at work, and people talk about it more and more. Fortunately, psychological problems are understood and supported better and better on the work floor. Being open about your complaints can help tremendously in creating understanding within your boss and your colleagues. In this way, you can be more accountable if, for example, you would like to work less or would like to do less demanding assignments.

NiceDay app

Plan in your Daily Planner when you want to discuss your psychological complaints with your boss and / or colleague. Write down in your Diary what exactly you would like to discuss during this conversation. Do you find it difficult?

Today I passed by the Flying Tiger. A Danish store chain which opened their first store here in the Netherlands in 2008. They celebrated their 10th anniversary. Everything for 1 euro.

What does that do to us? I saw people stuffing multiple shopping baskets with mainly plastic stuff they do not need. Stuff that will disappear in dark corners of the house, drawers, the attic or even worse in the garbage, faster than you can blink. Stuff that won’t contribute to our happiness; maybe for a tiny bit in time, and then it will evaporate into thin air. Useless consuming and materialism at its best.

Take it or leave it?

I too, stepped into the waiting cue. I had been to the store a couple of times looking for yoga blocks. But on each occasion I thought they were too expensive. I have to be critical about my money lately and find myself consciously contemplating if I need something or not. And if it will contribute to my happiness.
I think I was the only person that stepped out of the store with only 4 things in her bag. The only one who bought only what she came for. But I have to confess; once inside the store, I too had trouble not putting extra things into my basket. I even put things in and five minutes later got it out again a few times. That must have been a comical sight too.

Materialism and depression

But what does this materialism do to us? What does it do when our houses slowly fill up with useless stuff?

It so happens to be that the past two weeks I have been struggling with my depression a lot. Everything in my life had to pause. I felt no value in anything and my head was clouded and my body felt done. I had a lot of thoughts, but only useless and worthless ones. The only thing what I still wanted to do and did was practicing yoga. All other things stopped or I had to drag myself to it.

The change

All of a sudden the idea came to get rid of stuff. To organize, clean and throw away stuff. The next day action followed and I started. Every day a little. It made me feel lighter. Not only in the amount of stuff, but also in my mind. And for a minute there I realized that I had forgotten that minimalism and a simpler life are also important when it comes to stuff you own or use. What a joy it is to work towards a nice environment for yourself with only a few things that make you happy. This is exactly the same for my mind. Order and space. It helps. How beautiful is it that my mind realized that I could only go on with other things when it felt organized again. And, that organizing was needed. A priority.

My advice

So, my advice is simple: Try to do a cleanup. Make choices about what makes you happy, gives you joy and a smile on your face. What things only take up space? Or what is in the way? What are things you never use? I find this to be the ultimate selfcare. It’s healing. This cleanup is so much more than only the action to do something. It will give you a feeling. Feel that feeling. It’s choosing you.

Keep it simple

If you want to start a cleanup like this, try to also resist temptation to fill up your Flying Tiger basket again and again. It will make you more happy in the long run. I really think that we become unhappy when we are surrounded by a lot of useless stuff. It weighs us down.

I believe that having less and living smaller can give your mental health a boost. Keep it simple. Both stuff- and head wise. And maybe you can try to cleanup other stuff in your life too, non-materialistic stuff, like for example your social life or the way you handle life… Think about it. The metaphor is beautiful.

X Bouwke

“How deep you go
Has nothing to do with thinking
but with a will to do so. “

As I write this blog post I listen to the song ‘Omarm me’ from BLÖF. It can be so wonderful to listen to Dutch music. The text touches me. I understand what the singer wants to tell. I feel the same way.

How deep you go has nothing to do with thinking

Love can be difficult. It happens to you. You can’t choose it and you certainly can’t turn it off. Most of the time, love happens at a time you do not expect it at all. When your life is a total chaos, suddenly he is there. How are you going to deal with that? Do you run away from it or do you let it happen? Running away from it might seem the easy way out . Because, you get self conscious: am I nice enough? I am an emotional wreck, first I have to get my life in order.

Reverse thoughts

But what if you put these thoughts aside? Think: that chaos belongs to me right now, but it doesn’t define me. If someone really wants to be with you, then he or she accepts you for who you are. Everyone has baggage, right? Don’t overthink it. Because if you really want it, you have to go for it. In one of my previous blog posts I wrote about karma. When karma sends you something beautiful you have to accept it.

Embrace me

The highlight of the song is to feel two arms around you. To let love flow through your veins and let it take away all your pain. Arms that allow you to sail to another dimension. Sometimes that is the only thing you need. A hug of the right person lets your body revive and gives you new energy. Sometimes it even feels like there are lightning bolts going through your body. These electric charges provide warmth. Warmth that you might not have felt for a while. At the same time, that hug can also give hope. Hope that it will be fine and you do not have to do it alone.

Love at any time of the day

Nothing is better than having someone next to you who loves you. Someone you can love at any time of the day. Someone who can stop you from worrying by taking you to the universe of love. There is no rush, no time, no gloom.

Only you and me.

Quote with this story: And embrace me, embrace me, embrace me. – BLÖF

Love, Ghyta

This weekend the clock shifts to winter time. We are going into the darker period of the year. When the alarm clock rings it’s still dark outside and when going home from work it’s already dark outside. You’ve probably heard already that daylight has a positive effect on how you feel and how you sleep. But why is that?

Daylight and health

The first reason is quite simple: you need light to grow. Think about the plants and flowers, they only grow when they get enough light. For us it’s the same, we also need light to survive. It’s scientifically proven that our body has cells that can emit light, those cells need light in return to be able to emit. When you are sick it is hard for your cells to emit light.

Daylight and sleep

Another reason is that daylight affects your alertness and your sleep cycle. Daylight will help your body to produce melatonin. That’s why (artificial) daylight is often used to fight winter depression and insomnia. When you use your laptop, smartphone or tablet in the evening, the chance that you have trouble falling asleep will get bigger.

Daylight and the body

You don’t only perceive light through your eyes, but also through your skin. When your skin gets in touch with light, the UV radiation will turn the light into vitamin D. Vitamin D is important for your immune system and is also needed to absorb other nutrients.

NiceDay app

Try to get more daylight. For example by going for a walk during your lunch break. Plan a moment in your Daily Planner and describe how you feel afterwards.