I’m juggling three balls. The first ball represents my study. The second ball stands for therapy, and the third ball stands for myself. I try to keep all three balls in the air without dropping them. That is not easy.

The first ball: study

The first ball represents my study. In September of this year I started studying the master of my dreams. I knew it would be a tough study. It is especially a lot. I don’t find it annoying at all, because the study fascinates me, but it takes energy. I juggle three balls, so I have to divide my energy and focus between those three balls. So far I have just managed. But the last week I notice that juggling is taking its toll. The alarm bells sounded. That is a sign for me to take measures before I collapse under the deadlines. This week I took a step by informing someone at the university. For now that’s enough. It is a precautionary measure.

The second ball: therapy

The second ball stands for therapy. This ball is slightly larger than the ball that my study represents. The ball is also slightly heavier, because the currently therapy is heavy. I’m moving to the core, and with that, to the pain. That is not easy. My head tells my body that it is ready, but my body contradicts my head. My body does everything it can to avoid having pain by dissociation, muscle tension or abdominal pain. This means that I have to work even harder and actually have to fight against my own body. But I want to go for it. I want to get rid of my demons. I want to get rid of the blanket called depression.

The third ball: myself

The third, and last ball, stands for my self.  This ball is perhaps even larger and heavier than the “therapy ball.” It takes a lot of energy, focus and control to keep myself afloat. I realize that it is not nothing I am currently doing: and study and therapy and try to function somewhat normal. Sometimes I think to myself, why am I doing this? Why do I ask so much of myself? But that’s how I am. Don’t nag, just keep going. Even though that is sometimes at the expense of myself. When my arms start to hurt and barely keep the balls up, I want to give up deep in my heart and let the balls fall. But if the largest ball falls to the ground, then the other two balls actually no longer have a role either. The third ball makes the difference. To keep the third ball, myself, up, I turned to a tool. I recently started taking antidepressants again. It turned out to be too heavy without it. I do not see restarting antidepressants as a failure, but more as a helping hand.

And so I go through life juggling. One day it feels like the balls can fall to the ground at any moment, and the next day it all goes just fine.

Love,

Ghyta

While I look outside and watch the sun go down, I think about this week. It was a difficult week or actually the last few weeks were very difficult. As I wrote in a blog earlier, I stopped taking antidepressants. It was my own choice because I no longer wanted to take them and because I no longer needed it. At least I thought so, because in the past few weeks I doubt whether I need that pill to get through the week without, among other things, a lot of crying. Or do I have to get the serotonin from somewhere else?

Everything comes in

Everything is noticeable without antidepressants, without the chemical blanket. Really everything. It does not do any harm at first, but if feeling turns into suffering, then action must be taken.That action can be: taking antidepressants again or getting “natural” serotonin from somewhere else. The first option is very tempting, but on the other hand I don’t want to start anymore. Not because I’m ashamed to take medication, but I still feel a lot of resistance. Option two remains: extracting “natural” serotonin from somewhere.

Option two: serotonin

Serotonin is a substance that is made in your brain, so you actually already possess it. Only the substance is not present in the right amount if you suffer from depression. This makes you feel gloomy. But there are ways to naturally increase your serotonin.

One way can be sports. For example, if you start running for half an hour, your brain will produce serotonin that will make you feel better. It’s just not that it is solved by that. You should run more often to notice the effect. Of course it doesn’t have to be a run, another sport is also possible. I had the plan to start running again and to go boxing. I did the latter no less than once, but since I actually felt no difference in my mood, I gave up.

Now that I am writing this I think, why Ghyta? You are not normally a quitter. But I was overpowered by depression. Depression can cause you to give up and the heavier it is, the harder it is to fight it.

So I came up with another way to make natural serotonin: socializing. There is enough for me to socialize because I just moved and started a master. And I have to say it works well. As a result, I forget what is going on in my head and the associated gloom.

It also helps to eat together with friends. That way I eat healthily, I don’t skip meals and I forget how I feel. The good thing is that I don’t necessarily have to talk about how bad I actually feel. Instead, I can talk about more light-hearted topics.

In good and bad times

But when the fun comes to an end and my friends leave, the depression blanket falls over me again. My worst pitfall is not asking for the support I need. It happens to me again and again. I know that I can come to them not only for good things, but also for the moments when things are going badly. At such a moment I ask myself, why don’t you do that? And so far I have no answer. Maybe I should just do it once, and then experience what it is like so that I know they are really there and take me seriously. But yes, easier said than done? In short, the top of the mountain is not yet in sight. There are still a lot of obstacles that I have to face before I can place the flag of victory.

Love,
Ghyta

When depressed you experience mental and physical complaints. A depressed mood is often described as feeling down, sad, hopeless. You will experience less pleasure in the things you do. The things you normally do will be experienced as less fun. There’ll also be changes in appetite, sleep, concentration and self-image. When sad feelings stay, we can often speak of depression. When you’re depressed it feels hard to do daily things like grocery shopping, take care of the household or doing paperwork.

What do you feel when you are depressed?

People with depression are mostly passive, he or she will take less action. Because of this, feelings of guilt will come at play. As a depressed person you can feel like a burden to the social environment.

What can you do when your partner is depressed?

It can be hard to deal with a depressed partner. However, it is possible to support your loved one with a depression (this also applies family members of friends) and also take care of yourself. What do you?

• Try to investigate: what is it your partner is dealing with?
• Go with your partner to the doctor or psychologist appointments.
• Try to support without judgement. Listen, understand, be patient and encourage treatment. Let your partner know that he or she will get through this with help. Show your faith.
• Let your partner be in charge but don’t be too agreeable. Putting pressure on your partner is counterproductive. Being too decisive yourself can also cause your partner to be more passive.
• Talk with your partner: what do you need?
• Think twice before you make appointments with your partner. It is important to stick to agreements you and your partner made.
• Be aware of small steps in the process. It is not all about the end goal: is today better than yesterday? Compliment your partner about it.
• Be aware of the feelings of guilt experienced by your partner.
• Confront your partner (carefully) when he or she doesn’t stick to appointments. 
• Keep your feet on the ground and try not to go along with despair. Don’t feel responsible for resolving the depression. Listening is already a lot.
• Try not to criticize, to lecture and don’t try to tell your partner what and what not do to.
• Focus on healthy eating, exercising together. Create a positive low stress environment.

Take care of yourself!

Take care of yourself while taking care of your partner. Dealing with someone with depression can be difficult. Keep doing fun and relaxing things, keep in touch with good friends and family members: talk with others about your situation.

In need of support?

For example via PsyQ and Synaeda you can be treated with NiceDay for depression. Register with a referral letter from the doctor. Click here for more information

It all started well: relatively few complaints, enjoying the pregnant feeling, shopping for the baby and of course relaxing! But there, the thunderbolt in a clear sky: the feeling after the birth. My little girl came into the world through caesarean section, I was very upset about this beforehand. And when she was finally placed on my chest I felt … nothing. No joy, no emotions, while my dear husband stood beside us in tears. Later, in the room, I suddenly realized: I am responsible for this little person. And after the compulsory rest days in the hospital, we could finally go home. Wonderful: finally my own bed and nice maternity help. I wanted to enjoy it, but I didn’t enjoy it at home either.

I shouldn’t feel this way

There was day 7 of the maternity week, I was talking to my husband and suddenly I could hardly say a word anymore. Apart from yes and no, nothing came out. Before I knew it there was an ambulance at the door. After having done all kinds of tests we had to go to the hospital. Just got home and now I had to go back to hospital … After all sorts of examinations and conversations, the redeeming word: it was a neurological short circuit, as they described it so beautifully.

The day my daughter was allowed to go outside for the first time was the day she had to pick up her care depended mother from the hospital. This made me very sad. I felt that I wasn’t taking care of her well enough. Unfortunately, the days that followed did not go better either. I didn’t feel like doing anything, had a lot of negative thoughts, became more and more anxious, suffered from dizziness, didn’t want to be alone and certainly not go outside. Slowly but surely, I lost myself. I no longer recognized myself. That enthusiastic woman, who loved being with people and doing many things, was now crying at home. Again it felt like I couldn’t take care of my baby, I didn’t do anything good for my feeling. After a few weeks the conclusion came: “this is not good. I shouldn’t feel this way. “

To the doctor for a referral

After consulting my husband, I decided to call the doctor for an appointment. It was a difficult conversation, I had to say out loud that I felt something was wrong, that I didn’t feel like a good mother. After some very confronting questions and a lot of tears I got my referral to the psychologist.

I was very happy that they were going to call me for an appointment. Because I don’t know if I had dared it at that time, I had such a hard time calling the doctor, calling the psychologist was an other step. Shortly thereafter I received a call and my first appointment was quickly planned. I step inside the building and take a seat in the waiting room. After some waiting, I am picked up from the waiting room and uncomfortably I walk behind the lady to her office, I take a seat and we start: can you tell me what your complaints are? Tears jump in my eyes directly. I found it hard to say that I feel a pathetic heap and worse: a bad mother. Before this I was a strong woman. She reassures me and it soon became clear that I had a postnatal depression. I immediately thought: “this can’t be true, what have I done wrong?” Fortunately, it soon became clear to me that this is something that happens to you and is definitely not something that you cause yourself.

How do I continue from here?

“You can treated here, but the waiting list is currently at 8 months.” What do I have to do in the meantime, I think. And before I can finish my thoughts, I get a proposal. She asks if I am interested in a digital treatment. Everything was already so scary, I only wanted to agree if I could remain on the regular waiting list if I decided to join the digital treatment. Fortunately that was possible! I would receive an email with additional information so that I could read a bit about how it works. The mail arrived the next day and I thought it was okay. After a week I scheduled my first digital appointment: I’m going to work via NiceDay.

We usually think that gaming is bad for children and adolescents. Often we assume that it will make children aggressive and antisocial. In addition, they can also become addicted to it. However, a number of studies have shown that videogames can in fact help with the treatment of depression and anxiety complaints. Some researchers even believe that gaming sometimes can be as helpful as regular therapy.

Advantages of gaming

Playing is important for the development of our brains. This also applies to playing games digitally, also know as gaming. A video from the NRC shows that gaming can make you smarter and keep your brain healthy. Gaming is good for:

• Eye-hand coordination
• Perseverance
• Responsiveness
• Random access memory
• Patience
• Problem solving ability
• Collaboration
• Spatial awareness
• Creativity
• Learning the English language

By playing games you can learn new skills quickly. For example, the US Army uses videogames to psychologically prepare soldiers for stressful situations.

Adolescents and gaming

In the last few years, more games have been developed by behavioural scientists with the aim of preventing psychological issues or as a therapy for psychological problems. Especially young people with depression or anxiety complaints can benefit from this. It is beneficial for them because games are able to do something that is sometimes difficult with normal therapy: to fascinate young people for a long time.

Games can be a good addition to regular therapy for young people. Gaming is part of the youth culture and in addition, it is easy to participate in games. There is also no stigma on gaming. And there are also no waiting lists that need to be taken into account.

Gaming and depression later in life

In addition American researchers have discovered a link between the use of mobile games and the treatment of depression later in life. This research was done at the University of Washington. According to the researchers, old people with depression benefit more from a game-oriented app that stimulates the human’s natural neurological ability to process multiple information flows simultaneously than regular conversation therapy. The reason is because such an app or game focuses on the cause of the depression rather than the symptoms associated with it.

The future games and depression treatment

Although several studies have concluded that gaming is a helpful tool to treat anxiety and depression, there still needs to be done a lot to further develop these games. After all, developing videogames is not cheap and more research is needed to find out what the psychological effects are and how big these effects are. Unfortunately, that is also expensive and takes time.

What is a depression?

In order to know how to support someone who is struggling with depression, it is good to know what depression exactly is. Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects the way you think, how you act and how you feel. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities the person once enjoyed. Symptoms must last at least two weeks for a diagnosis of depression. The intensity of the symptoms can differ from person to person.

What does a person feel who has a depression?

Symptoms can vary from mild to severe and they can be physical or psychological. The physical symptoms are trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, loss of energy or increased fatigue, changes in appetite (weight loss or gain), feeling dizzy, palpitation or a dry mouth. The psychological symptoms are feeling worthless or guilty, anxiety or feeling sad. Thoughts of death or suicide, loss of interest in activities the person once enjoyed, restlessness, feeling irritated or slowed movements and speech. A person who suffers from a depression can have trouble with the daily routine for instance doing groceries or cleaning up their house. This can make a person more inactive and more passive. Feeling guilty is a symptom that a lot of people with depression suffer from. They can feel a big burden to their family and friends.

How can you show support?

• It’s very important to show support without judging another person. Try to do it with patience and warmth.
• It’s important to realise that the other person is in charge of their recovery. Don’t push too much because this can make the situation even worse.
• Ask how you can help the other person and what the other person needs.
• Try to be as reliable as you can be to the other person. Don’t make promises if you can’t make them happen.
• Be aware of the little steps the other person makes during their recovery. Give compliment about the positive steps he or she is taking. It’s not just about achieving the final goal.
• Try to be aware of the feelings of guilt, self-blame and having the feeling of unworthiness that a person with a depression can suffer from.

What is not helping?

• Don’t try to ‘fix’ the problem for another person, it’s not your responsibility.
• Don’t show criticisms. This can make the other person feel very insecure.
• Don’t put pressure when the person is not ready yet.
• Not keeping promises.
• Telling the other person “to snap out of it”.

Take care of yourself

It’s very understandable that you want to fix the problems of people you care about. But you can’t control someone else’s depression. You can however control how well you take care of yourself. Ask for help if you need it.

NiceDay App

Do you know someone who is struggling with depression? Via NiceDay we treat people with depression and at the end of the treatment we prepare a relapse prevention plan together with the client. Are you interested? Download the app or ask for information via support@niceday.app

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a recognised condition and can therefore be found in the DSM-V, the most widely used diagnostic manual for psychologists and psychiatrists. There are several criteria that must be met before someone actually suffers from a seasonal affective disorder. Various symptoms are described, for example, a persistent feeling of emptiness or distress, problems with sleep, problems with appetite, concentration problems, and a lack of energy. These symptoms must be related to a specific season, mostly autumn or winter, in order to be seen as seasonal affective disorder.

The cause

The cause of SAD is not yet known. It seems that there are several aspects that correlate to seasonal depression. Genetic predisposition, chemicals in the brain and ions in the air are some aspects that might be possible causes. However, researchers agree that people suffering from seasonal depression are particularly sensitive to light, or to the lack of light. The reduction in sunlight in winter can throw your biological clock out of whack and reduce levels of serotonin (a brain chemical that regulates your mood) and melatonin (a chemical which regulates sleep and mood).

Treatment

Do you suffer from such seasonal complaints? Then there are a number of things you could try to combat SAD.

Structure
It is important to have some structure in your daily life. Fixed times are important because it provides guidance and you can work towards it. Go to bed at a fixed time, get up at a fixed time and take your meals at a fixed time.

Move
Your body produces endorphins while exercising, which makes you feel better immediately.
So run, cycle or walk a few times a week and do it outside! The best time to go outside is in the morning. At this time of the day there is relatively more blue light, which inhibits the production of melatonin. This will make you feel less tired and drowsy during the day.

Socialize
Stay in touch with your family and friends, this way you prevent yourself from becoming isolated and thereby becoming even gloomier. It is important meet with people where you can really be yourself!

Pay attention to your thoughts
Start paying attention to the way you think. When you notice yourself replaying events in your mind over and over or worrying about things you can’t control, acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t productive. And don’t forget: thoughts are just thoughts. You are not your thoughts

Obesity and depression are diseases that are quite frequent in the Netherlands. Depression affects one in five people in our country while one third of Dutch population is overweight or even obese. We already know that nutrition affects our mood. This is due to the fact that certain foods can influence the neurotransmitters in the brain that are involved in our feelings. It is also known that depression and being overweight often go hand in hand. But how these two exactly correlate is still unclear. That’s why dietitian Deborah Gibson-Smith and psychologist Nadine Paans did research into the role of diet, food-related behaviour and obesity in depression.

Eating pattern

Dietitian Gibson-Smith focuses in her research on the relationship between obesity and nutrition with depressed people. She studied nearly 3000 participants and her research showed that people suffering from depression have unhealthier eating patterns than people without depression. According to Gibson-Smith, a low intake of vegetables and whole grains correlate with severe depression. When you think about it, it shouldn’t be such a big surprise because our brain depends on the vitamins and minerals from the food we eat for its functioning. Long periods of unhealthy eating ensures that the small chemical factory that our brain ultimately is, no longer has the right raw materials to work optimally.

Snacks

Psychologist Paans focuses on the relationship between different eating styles and depression. Her research has shown that depressed people are more likely to suffer from emotional and external eating. Emotional eating happens as a result of negative emotions while external eating is about eating due to signals from the environment, for example smelling something something tasty. In addition Paans also found that depression is associated with eating savory snacks more often. This can be linked to the increased external eating in depressed people, which means that they are more likely to grab savory snacks than non-depressed people.

So remember to pay extra attention to what you eat, if you do not feel that well mentally. Pay attention to your eating habits and you will notice that you can feel a lot better with good nutrition!

Four years. That are 1095 days. That’s how long it has been already since I’ve been diagnosed with depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Until last week, I was convinced that I have accepted my diagnoses. In a certain I have accepted it: I’m open about my mental health and I don’t call it “stress” for example to make things easier. Last week I had a conversation which made me doubt whether or not I have accepted my “illness” though. I put the word sickness in quotation marks because I find it difficult to call something psychological a sickness…. It is a disease in the mental health world, but when I think of being ill images of people with a fever laying in bed for example pop up in my head. It also makes it difficult to see depression as a disease because it can not be seen on the outside. It’s mental, not physical. Someone can look tired, but that does not necessarily mean that the person is depressed. Because of this, I am convinced that I can still function properly 100%. But whenever I try, I find out that this is not the case. My body and mind tell me I’m overdoing things and I end up sitting at home feeling tired, over-stimulated and gloomy. At times like these I am reminded that depression and PTSD are indeed real diseases. To overcome these illnesses, I have to listen carefully to myself and try to admit that I just can not fully function the way I want to.

Therapy

Four years. That are 1095 days. I’ve had a lot of different therapies. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Schema therapy. CBT was the least beneficial to me and I have the feeling that I did this one for too long until I tried something else. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is about exploring the mind and your thoughts. Having certain negative thoughts can cause you to end up in a downward spiral causing you to feel sadder overtime. With CBT you’re challenging your thoughts. You will have to think about pros and cons for a certain thought for example. During CBT I found out that I am able to think rationally and how I can think differently when I’m having a certain thought. But I had the feeling that this was not the core problem. On the other hand EMDR was very useful to me. It is intense and it asks a lot from you. You basically go back to a traumatic event and process it in the here and now. In the meantime you’re distracted by taps for example or your therapist’s hand which is moving back and forth. Then there is also Schema Therapy. I do not have much experience with this yet, but I have the feeling that it will bring me as much as EMDR. In Schema therapy you work with modes. Usually such a mode covers things that happened during your youth. By using different conversation techniques you sort of go into conversation with these modes, and you find out what was needed back then.

Gratitude

Four years. That are 1095 days. My life did not go as I expected. In an ideal situation I already had my diplomas by now but because of my depression and PTSD, I do not. Hopefully though I will receive one of the two diplomas I’m studying for now in a couple of months. In these past few years grief hit me hard. On some days I just couldn’t anymore. I was done with it. But during these hard times I got a lot of support. I have never considered how happy I am with my friends and family. But because of my depression and PTSD I have grown closer to certain people. I know that I can count on them forever. I actually don’t know if I’d be aware of this if I did not had a mental illness. It’s certainly no fun to live with depression and PTSS but I can definitely say that I have grown in certain aspects. I’d never thought I’d say that!

Are you also struggling with something psychological? I know how annoying it is and sometimes it feels like there’s no end to it. But if you look at how much you’ve grown during this journey, can you be a bit proud of yourself? Write it down, put it on a visible place so you don’t forget how awesome you are. You are worth it!

Love,

Ghyta

Yesterday, January 21, 2019, it was Blue Monday or the most depressing day of the year. Why is the third Monday in the month of January chosen as the most depressing day of the year? You can read this in an earlier article on NiceDay about Blue Monday. The Blue Monday has been slightly hyped by the media. According to them, on this day we would feel the aftermath of the December month extra. We would have eaten too much, spent too much money and it will take more than a week before our salary is paid back. I can partly agree with this reasoning, especially in the too much money spent part 😉 But somewhere I think the Blue Monday as originally conceived is an attack on the people who have to go through a depressing day every day.

Depressed

Imagine you are queuing up at the counter and two people in front of you say to each other, “I feel so depressed today. No idea how it comes … “What the other says,” I know why you feel that way! Today is Blue Monday !. “I sometimes fall for these statements. Of course, this person who feels depressed today may experience the starting point of a depressive disorder, but it may also be that this is not the case. If the latter is the case, I am standing in front of these two people and I would like to ask if they know what it means to be depressed. Many people do not know what the symptoms of depression are. For people who are really depressed, it is annoying to hear that someone feels so depressed today while he or she just has a lesser day. To make such statements disappear, it is important that we inform people about the symptoms of depression.

Attention

Fortunately, Blue Monday has been dominated by depression as a disease for a few years now. In the news on this day more attention is paid to depression and since a few years there is also the Depression Gala. Because of this positive attention, knowledge is transferred to society. This allows them to understand that “feeling depressed” does not only mean that you have a bad day. It concerns bad sleep, somberness, reduced or more appetite, poor concentration and sometimes suicidality. There are of course many more symptoms, but the point is that people understand that depression is a serious disease. As long as Blue Monday is set up in this way, it can certainly stay! Perhaps this day causes people who secretly suffer from a depressive disorder, dare to open themselves to their environment.

Always remember: you are not alone!

Love,

Ghyta