Stress

Question
Vraag

I am a university student. This is my last year at school and I am under a lot of stress. I had a fight with my closest friends and I no longer talk to them. At the same time, I had a heartbreaking event that upset me. All of this has come together and it’s making me very tired. What would you recommend me to do?

Answered by NiceDay Psychologist NiceDay
Answer
Antwoord

This must be very difficult for you, everything coming all at once. I can conclude from your story that not feeling well right now, is not particularly the result of a singular event. There are many different factors that affect how you feel: stress from school, conflict with friends, heartbreak. It’s good to be aware of that, that everything is coming together right now. That can be quite challenging! 

You ask me what I recommend you to do. The first thing that popped my mind was taking care of yourself. Try and pay attention to the following principles:

  • Cherishing yourself 

Cherishing yourself is a form of self care. It consists of putting yourself first, for example by saying no to things you don’t feel right doing. Or of asking for help, because that will give you the feeling that you don’t have to do everything by yourself. Or taking care of yourself after a break-up.

  • Expressing positive affirmations 

Can also help you, for example saying: “I am good enough”. It is also important to take good care of yourself physically, by eating healthy, paying attention to enough exercise such as sports or yoga, and regularly taking time to rest and relax. In addition, it is useful to know what you love and dislike about yourself. You can do this by making a list of your likes and dislikes. Putting your own pleasure first is healthy, so pay attention to your “likes” a bit more often!

  • Reassuring yourself 

It helps if you have a few strategies or activities at hand, of which you know they can reassure you or help you calm down. You can make a list of these (in NiceDay or on a paper), that you can fall back on when you’re going through a difficult time. Think about taking a walk, talking to a classmate, reading, taking a bath, calling a friend, cooking or cleaning up your house. Read this blog for more ideas. 

  • Improve your self-discipline 

Another form of self care is improving your self-discipline. Knowing that you can push yourself to do something even if you don’t necessarily feel like it, is good for you! But also vice versa; not doing something when you should be doing it is good for you. It enhances your perseverance and self-esteem. You can practice this by, for example, doing two things every day that you don’t really feel like doing. And, not doing two things that you actually should do. Read this blog about practical tips for when you are stressed

Take you time. Goodluck with everything!

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