On October 18, I underwent surgery and received a reversed shoulder prosthesis. I had fallen from a high ladder, and the head of my upper arm was shattered. I am now in the phase where I need to rebuild muscle strength to use my arm as well as possible again. I feel like the prosthesis is something outside of myself, and that I need to learn to accept it as a part of me from now on. My arm feels strange, and I think it won’t turn out well if I can’t start to consider the prosthesis as a part of myself. I also feel angry, I believe.
Can you do something for me?

Whenever I ask someone something out of curiosity (even my adult sons), and my wife is present, people often look at my wife when responding. This happens with waiters, acquaintances, and even my sons. I’ve even mentioned it before, but it still happens. It feels very uncomfortable for me. What could be the reason for this?

Sometimes when my parents leave the house I sneak out to their bedroom. I put on my mother’s pantyhose and apply a bit of makeup. By the time they return home, I’ve already showered, so they don’t notice anything. I find it very exciting, but don’t feel like a woman. Should I tell my parents about this?

I have been dating someone for 7 months, we have a long distance relationship. We see each other 3 times a month and talk daily for 1-2 hours. We both have a history of dealing with conflict and have emotional trauma from our past relationships. 

5 years ago my partner committed suicide, I still have an unresolved trauma from this. The first two years after my partner committed suicide, I was suicidical. I began using ecstasy 3 to 5 days a week to try and cope with what had happened. 

I haven’t used ecstasy in the last 3 weeks, and I am committed to stop using it by september. But the person who I am dating triggers my unresolved trauma, because I lack emotional coping skills and I need to build myself back up. I support her not using anymore, but she doesn’t support me continuing till September. 

She is unwilling to compromise, but I believe that my plan is the best for me. I don’t want to continue using it until September, I just want the opt. In every area in my life I’m making improvements. I know on the surface it may seem like stopping now is the best, but I know myself and I need time to build back my coping skills.

For about 7 years, I have been dealing with gaslighting/narcissism in my home situation. As a result, I often doubt myself, have a lot of stress and am very insecure. I can never do anything right in their eyes, am ignored, laughed at, scolded and talked down to. I have tried everything and often talk to my friend(s) and in-laws to vent. 

I would like advice on how to deal with a narcissistic person/gaslight situation, partly because sometimes they can act very friendly from one moment to the next. 

What is the reason a gaslight situation happens? Does a narcissistic person specifically choose their victim? Will I experience other symptoms of this later in life? After all, my other family member living at home is incredibly loved while showing the same behaviour as me. 

What should I do, what should I know and how should I deal with it? I am distraught…

From the age of 6, I was bullied for ten years straight, for no reason whatsoever. After this, I let myself get used, abused, and raped by all kinds of people I trusted or put above myself. Next, I was trapped in narcissistic ‘marriage’. I’ve finally escaped and I’m ‘free’. But I immediately ended up in another toxic relationship. At first, I thought it was all good. However, his true colours are showing now and I’m thrown out in the garbage daily to then be taken out again. I just can’t get rid of it. There are so many things broken about me, about how my system works. Sometimes I am very self-destructive, especially in my head and that also expresses itself physically. I really wish there was someone I could talk to and help me figure out what’s wrong with me.

My husband experiences a lot of stress in life, not only at work but also privately.
He experiences that the world is moving faster and faster, the digitization that continues, and he feels a great lag in this. On the one hand because novelties do not interest him, but also because he does not understand them. If someone were to explain everything to him (eg a new computer program at work, installing an app on the mobile phone, a recipe for cooking,…. ) this would help, according to him, but it would still require an enormous effort from him.
He has no hobbies and doesn’t really know what he likes. In your list of 141 fun activities, only one he ticked, and this is 88. take a walk (and then just the walk around the pond he takes every day, definitely not a new environment).
He has now been home for 2 weeks on a doctor’s prescription but since he doesn’t know what he likes, he’s starting to feel worse and he thinks he is worth even less….
How can I help him?

I have a question about me as a person. I experience stress complaints in contact with others. It takes me a lot of time to respond to others. This might have something to do with something that happened in the past. I once peeked under a shower cubicle and was rejected because of it. I feel ashamed of this. I’m afraid someone will backtrack on it. This is a subconscious thought. Do you have any tips to deal with this?

I am in doubt I will be of value to any employer. I just graduated this August and never had a failing grade but I don’t feel confident at all about my skills. What can I do to appreciate myself?

After doing some self-reflection, this is what I came up with:

I was so afraid that people would leave. This makes sense because I was never very good at communicating. Or as they used to say: PPD-NOS Behavioral and Communication Disorder. So people, no matter how hard I tried, often left and I became more and more distant from them. Why bother knowing how it’s going to end, why not hurt them before they hurt you? Be in control. Alone you are safe because no one can hurt you anymore, but that was just talking about fear. Power does not control her audacity to be open and vulnerable to people. That to me is real power because it takes power to give people something that you know they can use against you. I think I’ve come a long way from that now, but in many ways that fear still controls me.

I deleted my post because I think I’m typing something wrong. I’m still looking for that confirmation. Afraid of rejection
I find myself comparing myself to others. To see if I’m important enough to them. I try to find every hint of things that disapprove of our approval, even if it’s not really there

I run away and leave the server because it’s scary to be close to people and being alone is also what I’m used to. It’s safe and comfortable. I’m ruining the relationship and getting toxic because in a way, thinking people hate you is so much easier than thinking they might like and care about you. I give myself every excuse to stay away.

So my question is: how can I change this behaviour? So that I stop trying to validate people and stop thinking when they say something that sounds like rejection?