Print Everyone is likely familiar with it: anxious and tense feelings in social situations – when you have to talk in front of a group, for example. You may experience sweating, trembling or stomach ache. You might find it difficult to focus on a conversation, because you feel uncomfortable. These feelings of anxiety are quite normal. However, if you suffer from anxious feelings such as these on a daily basis and, as such, avoid social situations, you may suffer from a social anxiety disorder.
People with social anxiety tend to feel judged in social situations and/or feel that they aren’t doing anything right. You can be afraid of being critically judged or even rejected. You may feel insecure at work, afraid of having a conversation, or afraid of being found strange.
Causes
Usually, your own thoughts play a major role in the anxiety.
For example, if you think that everyone is going to think you’re stupid, understandably, you will start to feel anxious. These nasty and anxious thoughts can cause:
- Anxiety symptoms, such as blushing, shaking hands, sweating and/or a dry mouth. Negative thoughts will direct attention to your own anxious behaviour, leading you to pay more attention to the physical anxiety symptoms.
- Confirmation of the anxious thoughts; you will constantly seek confirmation for these negative thoughts about yourself. You seek – and often find – evidence for your own negative perspective of how others view you.
- Safety behaviour; these negative thoughts cause you to behave differently. Safety behaviour is a trick to make you feel more comfortable – think of avoiding eye contact, preparing conversations, breaking off contact quickly, or drinking alcohol. If you rely on safety behaviour often, it can become your permanent remedy for any nerve-wracking situation.
An example of such a filled-in situation looks like this:
Therapy
During treatment, you will look at which behaviour and thoughts are fuelling your anxiety. The treatment that applied for this is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). You will practice entering anxiety-inducing social situations, such as having a chat with a stranger. Then you will check whether your negative expectations come true. You will also practice not using safety behaviour. You will learn that your anxious expectations often don’t come true and that when you experience social awkwardness, the impact is only small.
Engaging in anxiety and letting go of safety behaviour can be very difficult and scary. This could result in you wanting to postpone exercises or avoid situations. Together with your professional, you will look at the pros and cons of your behaviour. This will give you more insight into your behaviour, which, in turn, can then help you learn to deal with it.
Sources:
Keijsers, G. P. J., Van Minnen, A., Verbraak, M., Hoogduin, C. A. L. & Emmelkamp, P., (2017). Protocollaire behandelingen voor volwassenen met psychische klachten.
