Friendships are important in life. But sometimes you have a friendship which doesn’t feel nice anymore. How do you notice that a friendship doesn’t take you further? And when is is better to let go? I’d like to give you some tools to figure out if a friendship is still good for you.

Unequal relationship

Do you notice that you are often the one who asks how your friend is doing? Are you always the one who knows what is going on in his or her life, but does he or she interest in your life? This may indicate an unequal relationship. Friendship means giving and taking. When you are often the only one who gives, you can become quite unsure and sad about it.

Be you

In a friendship it is important that you can be yourself under any circumstances. It is annoying when you feel that you have to be conscious about the things you say and the way you act. Do you notice that you say certain things that you normally wouldn’t say? Do you notice that you behave differently? Or do you experiencing the feeling of wanting to be liked? If the answers on one of these questions is yes, then perhaps it is a good thing to evaluate whether you should or should not continue the friendship. 

What can you do about it?

How do you evaluate a friendship and how do you know if it is worth continuing? To get answers to this hard question you can make a cost-benefit analysis. With this method you weigh the costs in relation to the benefits. What does this friendship cost you and what do you get in return? Does friendship give you energy or does it cost you energy? Create an overview for yourself.

Ending a friendship is difficult. Especially because you have put a lot of time and effort into it. But if someone makes you insecure or if he or she talks you down? Isn’t it better to protect yourself by distancing yourself from the friendship? 

NiceDay app

Tip! The diary in the NiceDay app is useful to list the pros and cons of your friendship. You do not have to make this decision in one go. Keep track on your experience and evaluate the friendship over time. Choosing for yourself is difficult, but you are worth it!