Almost every person has resistance to change. Did you know that this fear of change in serious form even has a name? It is called metathesiophobia. Changes often make us feel unsafe, vulnerable or insecure, research shows that safety is a very important basic human need. So fear of change is not at all that crazy, it makes us human. Why is this and how does fear gets in your way? In this blog I will tell you more.
The jacket that no longer fits
Change is like an old jacket. You’ve had the jacket for years. It is so comfortable and so nice and warm. But you can’t deny that, over the years, the jacket didn’t get better. Also, he is actually no longer of this time or has become a bit tight. Perhaps it is no longer entirely your color. Yet you do not throw it away, because what if you never find such a nice jacket again? The jacket also carries many memories and feels like a part of you This way we attach ourselves to all sorts of jackets that actually no longer fit us. Jobs, relationships, places of residence, but we also attach ourselves to problems and feelings. Although the jacket does not feel good anymore, at least it feels familiar. As long as there is no clear picture of the new jacket, we prefer to keep our old jacket.
Seeing change as pain makes us anxious?
There are several reasons why we find it difficult to dispose of our “old jackets”. Perhaps you have already heard of the pain/pleasure principle. This theory describes two principles that motivate us to certain behavior; pleasure and pain. Pleasure is what we are looking for, what we want to achieve. Pain is what we try to avoid with everything. When you are afraid of change, you link change to pain and non-change (or safety) to pleasure. We can expect pain through:
- loss (“what am I going to leave behind?”, “what can I no longer do?)
- pain from the process (“it will be very hard”, “I can’t do it”, “I am going to fail”, “I am going to disappoint people”)
- pain from the outcome (“where am I going to end?” “what will this look like?”, “am I going to be happy here?”).
How does fear work in the brain?
Although after a while we may realize that change will do us good, we often remain anxious. The answer is in the brain. The amygdala is a very old brain structure that predates prehistory. This part of the brain gives signals when we feel threatened. It puts our body in the state of alertness. This can feel like anger or fear. We have desperately needed the amygdala in the past, when there was still a lot of threat. In today’s society, however, there are far fewer threats to humans.
To gain control of these fears, we use our consciousness in the prefrontal cortex. A brain structure that was developed much later than the amygdala. However, the amygdala cannot simply be guided by this prefrontal cortex. This means that we cannot always get our “amygdala impulses” under control, which keeps us feeling anxious.
Change in a performance society
Fear of change is therefore a natural phenomenon. The contradiction now is that today’s society is putting great pressure on us to change. Where we used to live in a command society (you listen to the boss, you obey the rules and you clock in in the morning), we now live in a performance society. We try to position ourselves as well as possible. Ambition, efficiency and hard work are sacred. Everything is dedicated to our work and personal development. Society is based on individualization and competitive drive. In addition, digitization and globalization have never had so many options as today. We are constantly looking for change and improvement and the options for this are endless.
Stay yourself
Do you dare to put your old jacket away in this new year? Then remember that some fear is very normal, be kind to yourself, allow yourself the time and don’t let the current society fool you. Stay with yourself!
