Sex and sexual functioning are an essential part of the quality of our life, in all stages of life. Sexual health is often associated with happiness, longevity and well-being. Depression or sadness can have a major impact on your sex life; if you are not feeling well, you may have little sex drive. In this blog I will discuss the effect of depression on your sex life.

Sexual problems

You can experience various sexual problems. One of these is feeling less desire; you don’t think about sex a lot, have less or no sexual fantasies and generally have little desire to have sex (low libido).

You can also have physical sexual problems. In a situation where you would normally be aroused, all of a sudden your body does not respond the way you are used to, or your body may never have. Think of getting and maintaining an erection or getting a wet vagina. This can make sexual contact difficult and very frustrating.

In addition, you can also experience problems with reaching a climax: an orgasm. For example, it can occur too soon, too late or no longer occur at all. Finally, there are sexual problems that are linked to pain, such as pain on penetration or it may even be impossible to insert anything.

Depression

What many people don’t know is that sadness often has an effect on our sex life. Research shows that 50% of people with depression experience sexual problems or have a sexual dysfunction. Only 25% of women and 50% of men with depression are sexually active. In 40% of men and 50% of women, sexual desire is reduced and about the same percentage has difficulties with getting physically aroused. Problems with having an orgasm affect 15 to 20% of women that suffer from depression. 12% of men last suffer from premature ejaculation and 22% of depressed men deal with delayed ejaculation.

Sex and Medication

The above figures refer to people who do not use medication for their depression. However, the use of antidepressants can also cause sexual problems. If you are on medication and experience this, discuss this with your practitioner. It is possible to choose another type of medication that does not have this side effect or in which the side effect is less invasive for example, but other solutions are also possible. Discuss it with your practitioner so that they can help you. Talking about it is often a relief in itself. So if you experience problems, know that you are not alone!

Depression and sexual functioning

The relationship between depression and sexual functioning is complex. The sexual problems can be a direct result of the depression. This is a form of anhedonia: no longer experiencing joy or pleasure. In addition, there are symptoms of depression such as negative self-esteem, increased guilt, tiredness and discomfort, which indirectly diminish the sense of sex drive. Depression is also associated with physical disturbances, especially in the nervous system, which affect the sexual functioning of the body.

Cause and effect

Sexual dysfunction can be the result of depression, but also its cause! Sexual dysfunction also means that the sexual image that someone has of himself or that the partner has of the other is not met. This can seriously disrupt self-esteem and contribute to depression. In that case, it may be wise to treat the sexual problem first before treating the depression.

Sexual problems can also result from other illnesses associated with depression. Just think of diabetes or hormonal abnormalities such as testosterone deficiency. That is why it is important to first rule out physical causes.

Other causes of problems with sexuality are grief, divorce or relationship problems. These can lead to depression as well as sexual dysfunctions. In that case, partner relationship therapy is a sensible addition to the treatment.

Tip

Make sex fun again! You can start by discovering what it is that you like or enjoy sexually. In the beginning it might be uncomfortable or you may have to make time for it, but it’s well worth it! It’s basically like picking up other things you enjoy doing. Gaining positive experiences ensures that you have them fresh in your memory and that you feel like doing something like this again sooner. By actively working on a positive experience yourself, you can gradually rebuild your sex drive. Do you have a partner? Start alone first, this may make you feel less pressured. By doing this you can slowly build up to do something fun together, and you will know exactly what you like!