In the hectic pace of everyday life it is not always easy to set the right priorities. How often does a week go by without contacting that old friend or without an evening for yourself? The busier we are, the greater the need to set priorities and make choices. But how do you do that?

Urgent/important principle 

The quadrant is an important tool when determining priorities. This quadrant is derived from the statement by D. Eisenhower: “urgent matters are seldom important and important matters are seldom urgent. The model is widely used within time management.

How does this quadrant work?

The quadrant indicates what is important and what is urgent. Important tasks are those that are valuable or necessary to do. Non-important tasks may be fun to do (like playing a game on your phone), but do not cause problems when they are not done. Urgent means that something is urgent and needs to be done in the short term. Non-urgent matters can still wait a while.

Based on this you can classify tasks in the following categories:

• Important – urgent: these tasks have priority because they are both important and urgent. They are deadlines or crisis situations, for which you have to take action now. For example, pick up your sick son at school or call a handyman for your broken boiler.
• Important – not urgent: the tasks that are important in the longer term and for which you want to spend sufficient time. Think of meeting that friend or preparing a job interview properly. So it’s handy to schedule this!
• Not important – urgent: these are tasks that can be done now, but are not important to you. For example, attending an unimportant meeting or completing a marketing survey. Tip: skip this or ask someone else to do it.
• Not important – not urgent: this is a “waste of time”. The tasks that don’t have a deadline and are not important, like watching YouTube videos or keep chatting with a colleague. Is this how you want to spend your time?

More tips

Below I give you more tips for setting priorities:

1. Schedule some time every day to set priorities. This does not have to be long; 10 minutes may be enough. Make a task list and determine what has priority. The start of your day can be a pleasant moment, but it can also be good to create an overview of what is left at the end of your day.
2. Use a fixed location to keep track of your priorities. Do not use loose papers, but use a to-do booklet, a whiteboard or an excel file. It gives you peace of mind when you know that your tasks are written down somewhere.
3. Keep it simple and well-arranged. The more extensive and detailed your task list, the more unclear and therefore the harder to stick to. Use colors to indicate which tasks have priority and which ones can wait.
4. Don’t forget to put fun and relaxing activities on your list! These are also important.

Do you want help with prioritizing? A PsyQ psychologist can help you online.

Is your head ‘full’, do you have a long to do-list or do you feel that everything is getting too much for you? There is a technique for setting priorities very easily. You only have to ask yourself one simple question: must I do this now?

The key is to no just ask this question in one way but in in five different ways. Every time you put the emphasis on one of the five words. The meaning of the question (and therefore the answer) changes if you emphasize another word:

• MUST  I do this now?
• Must I do this now?
• Must I DO this now?
• Must I do THIS now?
• Must I do this NOW?

Do you already notice a change?

Must I do this now? Is it a must or is it something that you would like to do? Have you imposed this on yourself or have someone else imposed it on you? Or can you skip the task?

Must I do this now? Do you have to do this task? Or could a colleague, family member or partner also do this very well? Can you leave this to someone else? Delegating a task can be better sometimes, because you are not good at it yourself, because you have little time or because you do not enjoy it.

Must I DO this now? Or must you leave this?

Must I do THIS now? What really needs to be done? Would you rather do something else? Is this really the wisest way to spend your time and attention at the moment?

Must I do this NOW? Is it a task that can wait a little longer? Does it really have such a priority? Are there other things that deserve your attention now? Do you come a step closer to your dream life with what you are doing now?

Have you answered all these questions with a “no”? Then worrying is not necessary. You can better delegate it, ignore it or schedule it for a later moment. Give it a try! You will immediately notice that it gives more mental space.

Help needed?

Do you want more help in setting priorities or in making choices? A NiceDay psychologist can help you. You can get started right away.

Everybody wants to be happy. However, happiness is an abstract concept that can be defined differently per person. Someone can be happy by having lots of friends and family while others are happy by getting that dream job or by making lots of money. Despite these differences, researchers found some general similarities in achieving happiness. This can be translated into keys. So, what are these keys that lead to happiness?

You control your happiness
The first key is to realize that you are in control of your happiness because happiness is a feeling that comes from within. It’s important to take responsibility for your happiness and to work on it. Ask yourself what makes you happy or what you want to achieve. Write down concrete ways on how to achieve this. Some goals aren’t instantly achievable, but can be achieved through different steps. Make sure that you use the time you have efficiently because good time management can, according to research, helps with lowering stress and can add to a better quality of life (Misra,2000; Wang, 2011). This is important because we have the tendency to procrastinate or to waste time: Binge watching Netflix series or putting off assignments are classic examples. Losing time is not always bad, but it can interfere with attaining our (long term) goals which causes stress, anxiety and worries. Having goals will help you with challenging yourself and will result in learning new things.

Be kind
A kind and compassionate act is often its own reward. Research shows that being kind is good not only for others, but also for yourself. Brain parts associated with pleasure light up when executing altruistic behavior. According to research, kindness helps to make connections between people, raising your sense of meaning and decreasing stress (Tkach, 2006; Post,2005). This in turn, all contributes to your happiness.

Be grateful
Gratitude helps people focus on the positive emotions they experience. Something a lot of us do not focus on enough, because we have the tendency to take the good things for granted and focus on the things that go wrong in our daily lives. This partially makes sense, because this automatic response helps to prevent future mistakes. However, a consequence of this is that it can lead to good things passing you by without you noticing them.

In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful but the gratefulness that makes us happy.

Take care of your body
Body and mind are interconnected. Research shows that it is beneficial for the mind when you take care of the body, even when you experience negative emotions or stress. For example, a meta-study of Martinsen (2005) suggests that the effects of movement therapy are equivalent to those of antidepressants for the treatment of light and mild forms of depression. In addition, it is important to eat healthy, to go outside and to get a sufficient amount sleep. When you take this into account, the result will be a better state of mind.