In previous blogs I shared with you that I am gay and had trouble coming out. This time I want to discuss an uncomfortable situation that happened last week. First of, let me start by saying I don’t blame my father. But here is what happened:  My father and I went to people we don’t know to demolish a second hand garden shed for my new house. These people asked “Oh did you start living together with your girlfriend?”. My father replied: “No he has no girlfriend.” The people reply again with: “Oh, it will come.” The conversation ended with an uncomfortable smile on my part and a yes from my father.

For me personally, these kinds of situations are extremely uncomfortable. I want to say that I am gay. But on the other hand, is it appropriate at these moments? Also, I somehow  feel a little bit hurt by my father’s answer. Would he still not accept me after 2.5 years? Or didn’t he want to confront these people? When I returned home in the evening I started thinking about the situation and it occurred to me that these type of situations happen more often in my daily life.

The whole situation felt heavy for me and I have many questions in my head. Do I have to learn how to deal better with these situations? Or should I avoid situations like, this in order not to hurt myself? Something that is almost impossible. Or should I just say that I am gay?

I have not yet found a clear answer for myself on how to deal with this. I often feel uncomfortable after these kind of situations, but this time I also felt quite sad. I had not expected such statements from my own father. Rather I would see more support from my father. On the other hand, am I not overthinking the situation?

What would you do?

How do you deal with comparable situations? Are you someone who worries, or that one ear in the other one out type of person? ?

And if you are straight: ask yourself if you unconsciously put someone in an uncomfortable situation. And if someone told you that they were gay, would you try to let the situation go by, or would you do anything to improve the situation?

Hug,

Bert

I am walking through Amsterdam. I see people everywhere. They speak different languages. I hear music, I hear the sound of a tram, I hear bicycle bells, honking cars and people swearing. It suddenly seems as if I am in the middle of all these elements. It looks like a slow motion movie. Every sound comes in. I get restless and say out loud; “I forgot  my stone.”

My agate stone

For the past year I have been going out every day with an agate stone. I wear it on my body or sometimes I wear it in my pocket. I received the stone from my mother, because I often indicated that I felt restless on the street. Since I have that stone, I am able to close myself off a bit easier from the stimuli of other people and the sounds of the busy city. Maybe it’s superstition, maybe not. I know one thing for sure and that is that I feel safer when I go out with my stone close to me.

HSP then

Elaine Aron wrote several books about the High Sensitive Person, in short the HSP person. As a child I was already very “sensitive.” For example, I had problems with labels in my clothing, crowds and loud noises.

I remember that I was in the Efteling with my mother, a friend and her mother and that we sailed through the Fata Morgana in a boat. In that attraction you see different figures, big and small, and you hear music. I remember that the stimuli from the Fata Morgana came in so hard that I sat the whole attraction with my eyes closed in that boat. Most children would look their eyes out, but it was painful to me. I say “painful” because it kind of hurts when all these stimuli come in really hard.

HSP now

I used to not realize that I am an HSP person. It is also not something you go to the doctor for. It is a characteristic. When I read Elaine Aron’s book, I started to get more insights about HSP.

HSP people are more likely to suffer from burnout complaints, because we are more sensitive to stress. We are also more likely to suffer from depression.  I do not want to say that I have a depression because I am an HSP, but there is a clear reason for my complaints. Now that I am older, I can see that sensitivity has taken on a different form. I notice that I am more aware of the state of mind of people with whom I am in the same room, for example. I would prefer to walk towards them and whisper something encouraging to them, but that is difficult when it comes to a stranger. I also notice that I am not fully rested after a night of sleep after a day with many stimuli. I need at least one day to recharge myself.

Despite all this, I see being sensitive as a beautiful feature. It belongs to me and makes me the person I am.

Love,

Ghyta

Dear reader,

As I described in my previous blog, mental health is a process. A process with good days and bad days. A process of trial and error. I was on vacation for two weeks and it was wonderful: laying on the beach, walking through beautiful cities and eating delicious food. But when I returned from my holiday, I soon felt a little depressed. Back in the Netherlands, the weather is bad, I have less time for rest and relaxation and above all it was immediately busy again at work.

Balance at the workplace

My workload has ups and downs. There are months when it is extremely busy and months when it is very quiet. Of course, working in my sector also has its advantages: I can travel more often than most people, I am more off at times when everyone is working and I am very close to my colleagues, because during the busy months we share joys and sorrows.

But there are also disadvantages: during the busy months I work a lot of overtime, I work at the craziest times and I have little time for my family and friends. It is therefore difficult to keep the balance between enough exercise, sleep and nutrition.

Work pressure plan

My solution for a good balance during busy months is a plan when pressure rises. A plan with action points to better get through the busy months. 

This is in my plan:

• reserve one day a week for myself and unwind (no work mail and not answering any phone calls),
• make a clear plan every week for the upcoming week in which I block times in my work calendar, so that I get to the things I want to get done,
• start every day with a to-do list and prioritize with the Covey matrix. Which matters are urgent? What can be delayed or even skipped?
• visit or invite my family once a month,
• do not let work control my private life by talking about work or meeting colleagues in my free time,
• exercise at least once a week,
• meditate and / or walk at the start or after a busy day,
• plan nice weekends and/or days off.

And now … do it!

Although I had already anticipated the work pressure and how to deal with it, I felt down after my vacation. How did that happen? I ignored my own plan. The problem is, if I am doing well – and it went after the holidays – it’s easier to forget to use my plan. Meditating, talking with my partner, a walk, taking good care of myself with extra sleep and healthy eating: these are all things that I will only pay attention to when my mental wellbeing is getting worse. So it is good if I recognize my stress signals in time and I will not intervene until it is too late.

Now that I feel better again, I’m more motivated to follow my work pressure plan.

In my next blog I will tell you how the plan works! Keep you posted!

Love,

Mara

Do you know the “Humans of New York” (HONY) blog? Brandon Stanton shares portraits with compelling stories on Instagram and Facebook. He started in New York, but has since done several trips. All over the world, strangers share particularly intimate stories with Brandon, about their health, relationships, wishes and traumas. You can read three lessons from all these stories below:

1. You are not alone

First of all, you are not alone. We don’t often talk about traumas, feelings and doubts. We fear what others will think about us if we share our “deepest” secrets. We are afraid of rejection or do not want any pity. But nobody’s life is perfect. On HONY you can read stories about addicted parents, bad relationships, unhealthy friendships, mental health problems but also stress because of university or insecurities. You soon see that you are not alone in what you experience or have experienced. This recognition can provide peace and perhaps courage to also share your story with a friend, family member or a psychologist.

2. Openness is contagious

HONY is a community, which means that readers are active: they offer support and understanding through the comments, sometimes organize collection campaigns and offer references to, for example, other websites where you can read more about a certain topic. In addition, many comments appear in which someone else shares a similar experience. This way, taboo is broken bit by bit around any subject.

3. We can handle more than we think

The most extraordinary and intense stories appear on HONY. Apart from the fact that these stories break taboos and help others in similar situations, they are often stories of people who have gotten out of a certain situation. They have endured the most difficult moments in their lives and have achieved something positive for themselves. These stories show how resilient we are when it comes down to it!

A preview – click on the picture to see the original post

“I see myself in my son.

I know what it’s like to be in that teenage stage when you feel the need to prove yourself. One day when I was about his age, I was hanging out with some friends after school, and they wanted to go to the mall, but I had to go back to school and work on a project. A few hours later, they all ended up getting arrested for shoplifting. When I got home, my father was crying. He’d gotten a call from one of the boy’s fathers, who told him everything that happened. He told my dad: ‘Barak didn’t get arrested because he went to school.’ My dad dropped to his knees and started hugging me, and telling me that I’d made the smart decision, and that night he took me out to dinner. Today, every one of those friends is either dead or locked up.”

“Over the past few years I’ve been having a lot of negative thoughts.

Toward the world. Toward myself. Toward other people. I’ve been struggling with chronic depression, and I think the most obvious symptom is negativity. My perception changed so slowly that I didn’t even notice. It didn’t feel abnormal. I just thought I was seeing the world clearly. I thought people were basically mean. I couldn’t find the energy to sit down with them, talk to them, and learn they aren’t bad. But watching her grow has been a revelation. She’s positive toward all humans. And everyone is positive toward her. I never know who starts it. I don’t see who begins the interaction. But so many times I’ll be on the bus or metro, and I’ll look up, and she’ll be smiling at a stranger. And they’re smiling back. And it makes me so happy. Sometimes my face hurts from smiling so much. She’s taught me how prejudiced I’d become toward other people. Somehow I’d forgotten that if you smile, people smile back.”

“He put me in the hospital when I was pregnant with her.

The next day he started crying, begging for forgiveness. He said: ‘I’m so sorry, I was drunk, I need you so much.’ So I took him back. The next time it happened, he managed to convince me that it was my fault. He said that he wouldn’t have gotten so angry if I had paid more attention to him. So I started thinking that I could be better. Then it happened again. Honestly, I stayed with him so much longer than I should have because I was afraid of becoming the stereotype of a single black mother.”

Which post has inspired or motivated you?

How can you involve your loved ones into your healing process? I personally have experienced first-hand how a mental illness can affect your relationships. There are 3 lessons I learned in my experience in talking about my mental health with my loved ones. 

#1 Honesty 

Before you seek professional help, you and your loved ones notice that it is not going well with you. In my case, my perfectionism and fear of failing lead towards a burn out. This meant I was overly emotional in every situation that happened. I was exhausted, all the time! And I experienced panic attacks. In this phase I was projecting emotions on my loved ones when I was tired or when I was angry at myself . Whenever I felt like I was exhausted and someone asked me if I could do something, instead of communicating what was happening to me and how I felt, I just said; “yes I can”. Obviously, I couldn’t do it. And when they asked why I didn’t do what I said I would do my loved ones got angry. 

So the first thing to do is to acknowledge that you are not okay. Share it with the people closest to you. Even if you have no label for the things you are experiencing, it is important to just tell them exactly what is going on with you. 

#2 Keyword is communication

When you seek mental help, you are learning tools to deal with yourself and the people around you. In this phase you will often feel more hopeful and with the tools you have learned from your health professional, you will often notice some shift in a positive sense. I noticed that my panic attacks were reduced and that I was able to deal with my fear of failure more constructive. 

However, when I stopped having panic attacks I noticed my surroundings thinking more often that I was ‘’healed’’ completely. Which also meant, they started treating me like a healthy person and demanding more from me. I wasn’t ready for that. But because I was so happy and proud of the progress I made, I felt like I wanted to prove to myself. And I pretended to be able to adhere to the new demands. Let me tell you, the few steps that I went in a forward direction, I went twice as much steps back when I tried to do more than I was able to. This meant that I had to communicate more and clearly. Just because I have no physical symptoms anymore, does not mean that my mental health problems are solved. 

#3 Keep learning

Besides communication, it’s also important to educate yourself and your loved ones. When you know what it is you are dealing with, it is important to gain knowledge  on this topic. The more you understand what is going on with you, the more you can create understanding by your loved ones. In this way, you will feel more supported by your loved ones.

Thanks for reading my blog and have a nice day!

With love,

Sabrina

Meet my friend Sylvia, almost 80 years old. We’ve known each other for almost 7 years and see each other often to chat and have dinner. Despite an age difference of more than 50 years and a different background we have a very interesting friendship. We are open to each others ideas and perspective of the world. 

Syl, how do we start? Can you tell me something about the time you grew up in? How was your childhood? How was society and how did you feel about that?

I was born in 1939, there were no equal rights between men and women. My mother wanted to divorce in 1950. It was impossible for a woman to divorce in those times: you needed proof of adultery. My father had a girlfriend at that time… but there was no proof. After three years she managed to get a divorce. In 1971 a new law was formed: Law of Separation.

My father was a Spartan: feeling ill was not allowed. He was very authoritative and militaristic when I was growing up. It was very good for me (and I think my four sisters) that my parents got divorced. I think it is very special that my mother made the divorce happen in those days. Also, I think it is very special that my mother was so open minded, both during and after the war. I still enjoy this until this day. Women were not legally allowed  to make decisions: divorce, buying a house etc. As a woman you were dependent of your husband. But my mother, she was a dentist and she had possibilities. She was open to anything. For example: when I wanted to take a boyfriend home, she told me: you can do what you want but you have to make the bed yourself! Everyone was welcome in my mother’s house. What wasn’t allowed at other families was allowed at my place. I experienced a lot of freedom. Freedom a lot of people know or dare to seek nowadays. I think that is a very positive development.

What did you do with the information of your mother in your own personal life?

I was married to the ‘wrong’ person for way too long. Even though I had my mother’s example! My mother showed me you don’t have to be dependent of someone else. That’s why I didn’t understand why I was in the same situation for so long. I felt dependent of this man. My mother kept on saying: money can’t and shouldn’t hold you back. Eventually I got a divorce.

This relationship experience is very important to me. I cherish the moments I had with him. I have a lot of nice memories and I became a more worldly woman because of him. Always try to cherish what a relationship gave you the moment the relationship is finished. Don’t regret it and see it as a meaningful experience.

Falling in love, getting engaged and getting married was an obvious relationship form. Nowadays there are a lot of other forms between dating and a relationship. There is a lot of choice and people marry much less. What do you think about this development?

Freedom of choice is a big problem for a lot of people. There is a lot of choice and this causes stress. I think freedom of choice is a good thing! There is a possibility to find out what you want, what you like, what matches your personal needs. Enjoy this freedom of choice!

I think it’s a very positive development. 

I agree, freedom of choice is something special and I think we should consider ourselves lucky to have this kind of freedom.

Do you like to read more about two generations getting personal? Keep updated by checking our Sarah’s profile!

I want to be me. My whole self. I fought for it, and worked even harder. But, when you are finally at a place where you can be yourself on a regular basis, the opinions and images others have of you are still alive and kicking. Should you care? Yes and no.

If there is one process where you are dependent on the opinions of others, then it is definitely the job application process. I’m in the midst of it right now. My friends know that I am searching and want to help me. Recently, one of them tipped me about a great opportunity. For a company specialized in helping youngsters with problems, they were looking for a life coach. A perfect match for me! She knew the owner and said she would call him to put in a good word for me. Unfortunately that did not work out the way she thought and it ended up to be a tough confrontation with stigma and images others have of the world. She told him, in all of her enthusiasm and belief in me, that I have Borderline. Because she thought it to be an asset for this job, which is true, in my case. But the man on the other side of the line does not know me, and called me a risk. End of conversation, end of job opportunity. That obviously sucks. Where did this go south?

The image of Borderline

Well, it went south with an image of, and opinions about Borderline. This man works in mental healthcare. He is probably familiar with this diagnosis and knows certain characteristics of it. He also knows that some of those characteristics could prove to be a risk for him, as a business owner. But, he does not know me. My friend does. She knows that I am way more than that diagnosis and its presumed characteristics. That I turned something that is seen as a weakness into a strength by working hard and getting to know myself. That I am functioning very well and that I have a lot to offer. But, by mentioning Borderline, she created a link to an image of it, and with that all other things became void. It may be a limited image, a stigma, but it does, in the end, determine the outcome.

Programmed beings

We are very preprogrammed beings. When you think about the fact that we consciously process only 10 percent of what our senses observe, you can ask yourself what happens to the other 90 percent. The lot of what we observe gets processed by our brains, outside of our conscious mind. Those brains are masters in processing information at light speed, giving us the chance to consciously react to what we observe, or not. This is, amongst other things, done by categorizing all this information. That’s a very necessary process, because there is so much of it, and reactions are to be expected in hundreds of a second, we could not function otherwise. Our brains are our computer, there is a lot of processing going on in the background so you can play your game, write your book or do your work.

How we view the world

Unfortunately this helpful tool has it counter effects. Our brains organize the world only in categories they know; that means we see the world as we are. We are looking at the world with only the things we’ve learned, seen and experienced. As we get older, no new categories will be made, everything will be processed and matched to categories we know. It can result you being shoved into a limited category, a wrong category, or, even worse, no category matches you. Because, how does your brain react to something they do not know? That feels like a risk. Anyway, you will never, in the beginning, be seen as a complete person. You will be categorized on the basis of some of your characteristics or appearance. And that is something to keep in mind. Its strategic to take that into account.

How to be strategic?

Being strategic can have a negative taste, because you are consciously choosing what you show others, or not, choosing to play a certain part, not being totally you. I find this difficult at times, and sometimes also feel resistance, to be strategic. We all preach a lot that we should be able to be ourselves, and I am sorry that I cannot just express some things. That there is prejudice. But without boxes we are lost. The Borderline diagnosis is also a box, and, by no means, complete. There are at least 380 ways to experience Borderline, and these are certainly not covered by a list of 10 characteristics. But, I use the Borderline box too. In the beginning to help myself recover and now to support my mission to create more awareness for mental wellbeing. I know, for a fact, that I do sometimes cut corners there too.

Have a plan

Strategic thinking is having a plan, to take your environment and the situation into account. When you understand how we, as humans, ‘work’, how our world view comes about, it becomes easier to create opportunities in which you can be yourself. And as with a lot of things in this world; It’s about who is behind the controls and what motives they have.

This means you should not bluff your way through life or only think about what others expect. You are not yourself when you do. Your job is to know who you are, what your qualities are, what you need and what you can bring to the world. It’s important to know yourself. And, that you take responsibility. In searching for a job that means that you try to really honestly estimate if you can do the job, if you are qualified. Subsequently you can focus on the best way to ‘get into the door’, that’s having a plan.

This failed ‘job application’ was an important reminder that there is still a lot of stigma about mental health issues. And, again it reminded me of how we need to focus on more information, and not on fighting already existing images. More information broadens people’s views. Just like my friend saw me as way more than a diagnosis. Familiarity with, makes things less scary, feels less of a risk, and increases chance of different reactions.

Nowadays everything has to be nice. Your job should be nice, your friends should be nice, your clothes, your home and furnishings should be nice. Your boyfriend or girlfriend must also be very nice. Besides your work, your study has to be nice, why else would you do it? You have to have a nice day, a nice time, with nice people and in a nice environment, for example on a nice terrace or in a nice cafe. After all, you want to have a nice life. Or not?

Nice

The word ‘nice’ seems to be the only word we use to indicate what we feel and experience. We find something nice when we like it, or when it’s cozy or warm. We also use it when we find someone attractive, whether they are beautiful, charming or handsome – they are nice! Even if we really like something, we do not use words like amusing, amazing, funny, cool or entertaining, no we just like it: nice!

It’s pretty clear: it’s nice or it’s not nice. That’s how we understand each other. And we do what we like. If it’s not nice, you shouldn’t do it. This way we support each other. But should it always be nice? Is a place, person, activity or situation only acceptable if it is nice?

My experience

I catch myself on saying ‘nice’ very often. It has crept in unnoticed and has taken possession of me. I use almost no other word than ‘nice’ to describe my feelings, mood and perception. Gradually my life has been reduced to a state of being nice or not being nice. And when I look at my life in this way, it’s mostly ‘not nice’ and that depresses me a lot.

More than nice

Is there more than nice? Can something also be interesting, fascinating, poignant or stimulating? Can people not be special? Fun, striking, curious or wondrous? Can we also describe them as inspiring, stimulating, or even laughable instead of nice? An activity does not only have to be nice but can also be stimulating, moving, energising or inspiring. A place can be beautiful, gorgeous or amazing. In a negative sense, you can also say that you find something annoying, unpleasant, scary or frightening instead of ‘not nice’. Maybe something is bad, stressful, painful or exhausting.

It’s not just nice or not nice. The world and your experience is much richer than that flat dichotomy. There are thousands of ways in which we can experience a place, person, situation or activity and express it with so many words.

Anxiety

It’s nice to have lunch together! For example, I visited the Sense Health company a few days ago – yes, the company of which this blog is part of. A number of bloggers were invited for a lunch. I don’t like that! I find social activities with strangers in a strange setting terrifying. I feel insecure, not to know where I should be, what is expected of me or how I should behave. It triggers my traumas and makes me very restless. That is not nice. Already a few days in advance I start to feel nervous, sleep poor and I don’t feel good on the day itself. In the train the tension rises, I start to sweat and want to go back, safely home. I know that I don’t have to be afraid, but my body does not think, it only feels. It makes it clear to me that I don’t like it.

Think different

To look at things differently: afterwards, as always, it was okay. Once I realized that it does not have to be ‘nice’, there was room to experience it differently (and ultimately richer). I became aware that although I don’t like it, I have experienced it as very meaningful, important and valuable. I have been able to contribute to developments of activities and products that can improve the quality of life of people with a vulnerability. Despite the nerves and fear, I felt valued because what I said was taken seriously. I did not like it but it was good to be there.

By regularly saying to myself that it doesn’t always have to be nice, I am more open to other experiences without having to deny the nasty and painful aspects. Life is not either nice, or not nice, but has a much richer range of experiences, moods and appreciations.

It’s the little things …

The nerves are running through my body. The music starts and I run to the dance floor. I breathe in and the moment I exhale, I start dancing. The violinists are making long strokes on their violins. The melody lines are graceful and stylish. I follow the music with my body and feel one with the music. The nerves seem to have disappeared like snow before the sun. With my arms I make graceful lines and my attitude exudes self-assurance. I do not have to force the smile on my face. When I dance I forget all my worries. I would prefer to dance the whole day so that the mill in my head has no chance to get started. In the end I make a bow and I see proud faces laughing at me. I am getting warm inside. Warm from this little happiness.

It’s the little things …

From the piano, four chords sound before I start singing. The only thing I hear is the guidance and the only thing I see is the text. The song is about a relationship that has failed and which  frustrates both parties. I feel the emotions. While I am singing I feel completely sucked into the text. I feel the pain they have. They would have preferred it if the relationship had worked. It just did not work through the completely different worlds in which they live. After the final chord has sounded, I become aware of the environment again. I look at my teacher: he has a smile on his face. He says that the emotions came in and that I have sung on point. I take that compliment with me I am proud. Proud of this little happiness.

It’s the little things …

I sit in my room and think about the summer. In August I will move to another city. It is time for something new, but I find it hard to leave this place and especially the people in it. I think of the beautiful moments. From dinners to parties till deep in the night. And from special personal conversations to watching a horror movie with five in one bed at five o’clock in the morning. When I think of these moments, I can only smile. Although I write this down with a lump in my throat, I can say that I am grateful. I am grateful that I have met all these special people. Each and every one of them has a place in my heart: the one maybe a bit more than the other. I’m going to miss them, but when I think of these little things, missing is probably a little less painful.

It’s the little things …

 The Little things? The little moments? They aren’t little. – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Love, Ghyta

We have them all, guilty pleasures. I repeat: we have them all! I repeat again: All of us! One person is ashamed of them , the other is proud of them. This is how I think about ‘guilty pleasures’.

Why are they guilty pleasures?

I listen a lot to music, mainly via Spotify and there are several playlists called: Guilty Pleasure. I once played a list and  I started thinking. There are amazing songs in this list, yet it is called a ‘GP list’. ‘Summer of ’69’, ‘Nothing compares to you’ and ‘Kiss from a rose’. As far as I’m concerned, beautiful songs. But also Wannabe, MMMBop and Barbie Girl in the same list, which are songs that make me almost ashamed of being able to sing them word for word. Actually pretty weird, why are you ashamed of something you enjoy? I’ll come back to this.

Ask around

I started by asking people around me. do you have any t GP’s? My best friend told me that he loves crazy horror films like Evil Dead from 1981 and he loves green olives so much, you can even wake him up at night. The music can not be left behind: Tenacious D. I also received: Swirls of Ola, pasta, sex, chocolate, Temptation Island and once in a while watch the Disney film Mulan.

I was curious if people dared to really share their GP’s. But to be honest, most of the answers I’ve heard are abit common , unfortunately.

Is it your guilty pleasure or …?

Do you have a guilty pleasure because you think so? Or is it something that is imposed on you by the rest of the world because they labelled it guilty pleasure? Because what is wrong with the occasional munching of a bag of chips?

Or rock hard with “bad” music in the car with the window open? And what is it about sex? Sex is extremely normal! But if something is not a GP then it is sex, in my opinion.

It is also noticeable that food appears in many answers. As if that is so bad? In my opinion the  bars of chocolate, cookies, pastries and chips that were given as an answer to ‘what is your guilty pleasure’, don’t really count.

My GP’S

Now, let me introduce you to mine:

• I love  ice lollies in different flavors. Give me 4 of this and I will eat them all, without difficulty.
• Another one: Sushi, you can wake me up for this! I stuff myself completely full when we go to Shabu Shabu and I am ashamed when I step outside again, with my size 6 cm bigger.
• In summer  I go for a Martini Bianco with iced tea and ice cubes. Very sweet, alcohol and you drink it like lemonade.
• And Marco Borsato and Britney Spears also belong in this list.

And with this list I mean: a list drawn up because others put these things in the box of ‘guilty pleasures’. I personally do not see them as GPs, but because the large majority think so, you almost believe it yourself! Ok, occasionally I am ashamed of the amount of sushi I can eat, but well. That is part of eating sushi (in my opinion).

Now my real list, about things I really think of: keep the door locked and curtains closed!

• That wine on a Tuesday night after a long day at school. Together with mom on the couch in front of the TV. Delicious, but given the problems I’ve had with alcohol, it really has become something I keep behind closed doors.
• My visits to the bathroom as my boyfriend is taking a shower. Occasionally secretly checking my buttocks. Unfortunately now he knows about it!
• And my worst, most shameful guilty pleasure: a sandwich with Calvé peanut butter light and marshmallow fluff. I feel terribly guilty after eating such a thing, but I like it so much! (And I take the light one because I just like it a lot better and not because it should be better than the non-light version!)

Conclusion

Do not see your enjoy moments as a guilty pleasure because the rest of the world tries to make you believe they are gp’s. Of course, if you have such a sandwich on your list like me, I can imagine you really think you have a GP! But,  as long as you enjoy it, you should not care what others might think.! So close the curtains and enjoy your pajama day, take that chocolate bar and eat it with pride and watch that awfully bad movie with your whole group of friends. Who cares!

The songs of this week will also be “wrong”: Stacy Orrico with Stuck and Kevin Lyttle with Turn me on.

Love, Renée