Corona makes a big impact. A survey by the Trimbos Institute shows that we are feeling more depressed and we have more problems with sleeping. You may also know someone who experiences mental complaints. You would like to help this person, but how can you best help someone with mental complaints?

How can you help?

If you want to help someone with mental complaints, it is important that you talk with the person about what he of she needs from you. In this way you can be there for the person in a way that suits you both. 

Tips and advices

What to do and what not to do? We’ve gathered some tips:

• It is important to support someone without judgement or prejudice. Support with patience and warmth.
• Patiently try to encourage and motivate someone.
• If the other person is in therapy, it is important to realize that the other person is in charge. Do not put too much pressure on someone and don’t take over, this is counterproductive. Also, do not be too compliant. The other can draw courage from your perseverance.  
• How you help exactly, depends on the wishes of the other person. Try to picture clearly what the other needs from you and expects.
• It is important that you are trustworthy. If you can not hold to your promises, do not make them.

What can you do?

• Listen and show understanding
• Encourage or help with exercises that the other person finds difficult
• Give a compliment when someone holds to their agreements
• Encourage or hug someone when he or she has a bad day
• Put your faith in someone and express your trust, also when it is hard
• Help the other look at the small step he or she already took
• Help the other look at the ultimate goal

What is better not to do?

• Criticize someone. This can make someone very insecure.
• Put pressure on someone when someone is not ready for something yet
• Tell the other person what he or she does wrong
• Give a lecture to the other person about what not to do
• Let the other person down and not holding to promises

With these tips and tricks you can support the person close to you. Remember it is always important to have a conversation and find out what he of she really needs from you.

NiceDay actions

Plan a reminder in NiceDay App to have a conversation with the person you want to help to make agreements on how you can do this best.

Have you been contemplating going to a coach or psychologist in search of help with your issues? There are tons of reasons to work with a professional when you have been struggling daily, but the most important motivation is that they can help you feel better again. These 5 reasons definitely contribute to that cause.

1. You will gain better insight (into yourself)

When it comes to personal development, working with a professional will help you gain better insight, whether it concerns yourself or others. You’ll be working with someone you will keep asking questions, who will try to get to the bottom of you and your issues and will simultaneously cause you to think about aspects of your live you might not have considered before. You will gain insight that will not only help you understand yourself in a better way but will also help you in your communication with others.

2. They will be your support

It is very comforting to have someone to spill your guts to, someone to whom you know you can tell anything and get things off your chest. Of course, you might have someone like that in your personal circle, but, nevertheless, it can be quite nice to have someone that understands your ‘issues’ and can therefore help you solve them.

3. They’ll listen objectively

Another sound reason to start working with a professional is the fact that they will always be objective in whatever you tell them. Someone from your personal circle that you can always come to is nice – and important- , but it is more difficult for this person to regard your situation in an objective manner. They know you well and can therefore be somewhat judgmental or know the people you refer to in your stories. A professional will always listen to you objectively and can possibly put things into perspective more easily because they will have no prejudices when it comes to your situation.

4. They’ll help you deal with your situation and emotions

When you go into your sessions with an open mind, it will bring you lots. You will learn how to approach your own situation and issues differently, you face your emotions and will work on how to deal with those emotions. Whether you are taken by emotion regularly or have difficulty expressing those emotions, a professional will undoubtedly help you develop yourself in this area, so that you can deal with situations in a fashion that you feel comfortable with in the future.

5. It is a gift to yourself

Choosing to work with a professional is often done for unpleasant reasons. However, try to approach it as a gift to yourself. You have actively made the choice to invest in yourself and your own personal development and that is something that is beautiful and worthy on its own! To have someone that will provide you with better insight, that will be your support, will not treat you with prejudice and can also help you to find solutions for the troubles that you are dealing with can only result in something good. Don’t you agree? 

When your partner has the flu, you take care of him / her, for example, by making soup and by regularly checking whether the fever has subsided. It is often visible when someone is wrong. But how do you know how things are going with your partner on a mental level? Which signals should be warning signs for you, or: when does your partner need mental help?

Environmental factors

You know your partner best. It means something that you get the feeling that something is going on with your partner. Behavioral change does not necessarily indicate a mental illness: the behavioral changes may also have to do with environmental factors. Perhaps your partner has been promoted which means he / she expresses much more joy and expressiveness than you are used to. Or maybe your partner exhibits more withdrawn behavior because he / she experiences (persistent) conflicts with loved ones or at work. When the environmental factors change, a change in behavior is also likely to occur.

Longer persistent symptoms

Does the unknown behavior last for a longer period of time? Or more specifically: is this behavior present for a two-week period and does this behavior differ from how your partner first behaved? Do you notice that your partner suffers socially and / or professionally? Then try to start a conversation with your partner. It can be difficult to start such a conversation. Below are some tips to start the conversation and to make the conversation go as smoothly as possible:

• Timing is everything: therefore choose a quiet moment. It is also important to start the conversation when the atmosphere is pleasant. For example, it is not convenient to start the conversation after an argument.
• Try to talk from the I-form. Examples are: “I experience that you have been less cheerful in recent weeks”, “I get the feeling that you get less / no pleasure from activities that you previously enjoyed.”
• Emphasize that you want to support your partner and that you want to work with him / her. This way your partner does not get the feeling that he / she is on his own. For example, indicate that you would like to go to the doctor with him / her.
• Give your partner time. After this conversation, he / she will have to process all the information. Return to it after a few days.

When your partner has to deal with psychological problems, it is extremely difficult for your partner in the first place. Taking care of your partner is a normal and healthy response. On the other hand, it also brings a lot of conscious and unconscious stress, because of not ignoring your own needs. It is incredibly important that you take moments for yourself and continue to undertake things that bring you joy and energy. Because it can weigh enormously on an individual when he / she is dealing with a partner who is experiencing psychological problems, it can also be useful for you to talk to someone.

NiceDay

Does your partner have psychological problems? Then come in contact with a NiceDay coach to get the tools to learn how to deal with your partner’s situation. Or would you prefer to introduce NiceDay to your partner to introduce him / her to NiceDay, then let your partner make the connection with one of our NiceDay professionals.