Désiré was experiencing some depressive symptoms for a time. On Google she went looking for online help. She ended up on the website of NiceDay website and dared to go for a online treatment. We asked her how she experienced online treatment.

What did you think when you first heard about online treatment?

I found it interesting and thought: ‘’if you don’t try, you don’t know either”. 

What did you think about digital help? 

I found that very pleasant. I didn’t want to go to a therapist. I find that too confronting and difficult. The threshold is much lower behind the screen of your phone. And because I am not a real talker, it was very nice to be able to communicate via the chat.

I could grab the app any time of the day whenever I needed it. That was nice! In between sessions, I received messages from  my coach about how I was doing. The personal contact with my coach was also very nice. I would definitely recommend NiceDay to others.

How do you feel now, after coaching via NiceDay?

I feel a lot better now. I have more confidence. I have learned that I am not alone and I have learned that the lesser days are allowed to be there. These days are part of life.

I want to thank the makers of the app and all the people behind NiceDay. It really helped me a lot and I had a new friend with my coach. I sometimes miss her spontaneous messages!

Are you bumped into something and want advice from a professional or experiential expert? Simply ask your question on our website. We are happy to help you!

Hi,

I am Mara and I would like to share my story about how I discovered NiceDay and what it has done for me. In my previous blog I already gave a small introduction about my experiences with NiceDay and the coaching process. In this blog I will tell you a bit more about my life and how I came to the conclusion that I needed some mental help.

Nothing to complain

My mental health has not been a concern for a long time. Until about a year ago I never felt that I needed help. Although my life has also had its ups and downs, a negative mindset never took over. My mental health was fine, probably also because I had nothing to complain about. I have had some issues with my family, my love life occasionally gave me headaches and I also experienced the necessary stress because of work, study or money, but other than that I had (and still have) a very nice life.

‘The Boyfriend’

After I graduated, my life actually got better and better. My career took off. After all sorts of interesting jobs, I was hired for the job I had been aiming for for several months. As a result, I earned more and I was able to live well, buy beautiful things and make wonderful trips. On top of that came ‘The Boyfriend’. Back then I was actually still processing the previous break up, but despite that, we decided to take the leap. On the first date we were talking about children, after three weeks we were officially in a relationship and four months later we started living together. It was wonderful: the unconditional, romantic love I’ve been waiting for so long was finally there.

Breaking point

And yet: after six months with ‘The Boyfriend’ I started to cry. Sometimes it lasted a short while, sometimes I cried for an hour. Sometimes it was about something small like the household and sometimes about fundamental life issues such as where we wanted to spend our lives. But two months ago was the breaking point because we had fights every nights which affected the physical and mental health of us both.

Vicious circles

And that’s how I ended up at NiceDay: I wanted to do something about the fact that I was crying all the time, improve my relationship and have a better life. In a relationship you always have things to work on together and ‘The Boyfriend’ is certainly not always perfect, but my behavior created a destructive vicious circle which we weren’t able to get out on our own. In addition to me crying a lot, I also demonstrated behavior which I could not explain. I was able to overthink every situation and to get very angry with ‘The Boyfriend’ without a valid reason. When I started at NiceDay, I knew exactly what I wanted to work on:

• Crying
• Tantrums
• Negative thinking

Write down your feelings and NiceDay

I know that giving your feelings space and writing them down is a good outlet for me. That’s how I found the NiceDay app in the App Store! I wanted a nice app to keep track of my feelings. I also found out that they offer psychological help. My first conversation with my NiceDay coach and online psychologist Sarah was such a relief. I soon found out that more women are having trouble with this phase in their lives and the difficult communication with my boyfriend is no exception for relationships between men and women. My coach indicated that by jumping into the relationship with ‘The Boyfriend’ I have given up much of my independence without even considering it. My self-image of an ‘independent, hard-working, young woman’ changed and perhaps I had to find that independence in my relationship again. As a kind of counter-reaction, however, I have developed fear of abandonment that could express itself in the behavior I previously described.

Ups and downs

Throughout the six NiceDay sessions I therefore took steps to learn how to deal with negative thoughts and to transform my behavior. I want to show you the ‘mental journey’ that I’m making, what I have learned from my coach and what I have learned in this process of ‘trial and error’. I learned a lot from my online therapist Sarah, but I still have a long way to go. Since Sarah has told me that I really am not the only one in the world who is dealing with such issues, I hope that I can inspire you with this blog and maybe give you a push in the right direction to seek for help. For quite some time I have felt very stupid: why do I  need mental support? I have a perfect life without “real” problems right? I hope you don’t feel that way, and if you do, I hope that this blog gives you a little bit of support and reassurance to take the brave step to look for help (in whatever form!).

Love,

Mara

More than 18% of the population can be diagnosed with a mental illness during their lives. That is almost 1 in 5 people. In comparison: on average, 17% of the population ends up in the hospital sometime during their lives. Having mental health problems is therefore not uncommon. Some elite athletes for example have more anxious feelings, more trouble with a negative self-image and trouble with stress. In addition, celebrities also experience mental health problems and some are even open about it.

Despite the common presence of mental health problems a lot people find it difficult to get help. Some reasons for not wanting to see a therapist are: feelings of shame, a sense of weakness and the believe you failed managing life problems. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma, or negative view, attached to mental health. This stigma can lead to people having the feeling that they failed in life and that it is their own fault that they are experiencing mental issues. But be aware, you are not on your own.

Symptoms

You should get help when you have the feeling that you can not deal with your mental health problems on your own. Do you have the feeling that your mood is really down the last couple of weeks? Or do you experience a substantial increase in stress, tension and/or anxiety and do you have the feeling it is getting worse? These are signs of a decreased mental health and can be reasons to search or ask for help. A low energy level, trouble with sleeping and emotional problems (e.g. less control over your emotions, heavy mood swings or frequent emotions that blown are out of proportion) can also be an indication to ring the bell.

The first step

You are not the only person on earth experiencing mental health problems. Mental health problems are just as common as the flu and you are allowed to ask for help. If you would break your arm right now, would you also assume that it is going to be fixed by itself? Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of growth. The knowledge and skills you do not possess, can be taught to you by someone who has studied for it and works in the field.

A professional can teach you skills so that you know how to handle or cope with certain situations. This way you will become stronger and this will only be an addition to your personal growth. Put yourself and your (mental) health first and take action to work on yourself.

Do you still find it difficult to get in touch with a health care centre? It can be very confronting and frightening to approach a professional. It may help to ask someone you trust to help you with approaching or searching for a professional. Handing it over to someone else can ease the burden and can be a motivation to take action at the same time.

Where can I find help?

At NiceDay, there is a team of professionals ready to help you get rid of anxiety, depressive symptoms or a burn-out. Download the free NiceDay app to see what our professionals can do for you!

Do you have the feeling that everything around you feels strange and different? Do you see things that are not real or do you experience huge amounts of stress caused by food? Then contact your general practitioner. Your general practitioner can direct you or refer you to the right specialists. When you have experience suicidal thoughts we advise you to get in touch with the suicide lifeline as soon as possible.

Today is the day of migrants and refugees. For people who come to the Netherlands as refugees or migrants, the chance of depression or post-traumatic stress is two to three times higher than among native Dutch people. In addition to the stress and sorrow of leaving home and all the other terrible things that they may have experienced, there is also a great chance that they will not get or dare to ask for the help they need.

Care in the Netherlands

Although the problems are certainly not only caused by war (but also by letting go of family ties, possessions, work and all they know), there is indeed a cultural difference and a possible language barrier. Health care in the Netherlands is trying to provide the right help, but unfortunately there are only a limited number of people who can provide help in Arabic, for example, and waiting times are often very long. So we have to organize help in a slightly different way, for example, let’s take a look at where we can play a role ourselves.

A helping hand

Maybe it sounds obvious, but try to imagine how it should feel to leave everything behind and try to see where you can help someone out. Research shows that when it goes well with settling in the Netherlands mental complaints may disappear faster. Perhaps you can create openness or offer a listening ear. You might also be able to  offer some practical help to someone. How does it work, for example, to sign up for help? Where can I do that? Or maybe you can help someone in finding a job or support them with administrative tasks. Mind you, do not be too pushy. Something that is well meant may come across as intrusive. Small gestures often already have a big enough impact!

Experiencing yourself what it is like to flee (to what extent that is possible, of course …)? Visit the Humanity House in The Hague. It most likely increases your empathy!

Do you know or are you someone who can use some help? At i-psy they specialize in intercultural psychiatry and so they have social workers who,among other things, offer help in Arabic. In addition, you can always (first) contact us. For more information, visit niceday.app or send us a message!

This Monday, the 21st of January, it will be Blue Monday. Blue Monday is the name given to the date for the most depressing day of the year. This day was created in 2005 by British psychologist Cliff Arnall. He devised a formula to determine which day of the year would be the most depressing. In this blog post you can read more about Blue Monday and what effects it has on our society.

Why this specific day?

According to mr. Arnall, the ‘Monday of the last full week of January’ is the day when most people feel sad or depressed.. This has probably to do with the following:

• Good intentions have already failed,
• Holidays seem far away,
• Days are dark.
• It’s the first working day of the week.

All these factors come together in the month of January, which is why, according to mr. Arnall, this particular day would be the most depressing day of the year.

Tips:

Work from home

Nothing as annoying as the day starts to go wrong by standing in a traffic jam or delayed public transport and arriving late at work. Try to avoid this by, for example, working from home for once. Work in the comfort zone of your own living room. Turn on the lights, turn on the laptop and go

Do something fun with lunch

If working from home isn’t an option for you, do something fun during or after lunch. Try to abandon the dark, and leave depressing thoughts for what they are. Order some goodies and afterwards, for example, go for a walk around the park with your colleagues. Nothing better than a nice meal and a dose of fresh air!

Focus on the things that go well

We all have setbacks. It is important on such a day that you focus on things that do go well, instead of things that do not go well. This way you give yourself positive energy, and that will certainly help you get through the day!

Go exercise

Last but not least: go exercise! Whether you do this before you go to work or after work, it helps you in any case. Through sports you release various substances that make you a happier person. Want to know more? You can read this article.

NiceDay app
Do you also suffer from Blue Monday? Use the NiceDay app to note what went wrong, and why that went wrong. You can learn from your mistakes. Good luck the 21st!

Day after day, week after week. The clock is ticking, but time has stopped. You speak, you laugh, you pretend everything’s fine. Your environment passes you by. You feel everything, whilst feeling nothing at all. Fled from you feelings. Wanting to be alone, alone in this world. You feel empty. Broken.

Mental health

When you got a stomach flu, you don’t even hesitate to visit your doctor. For mental health problems that’s a different story. Your thoughts, feelings and behavior are such a big part of your life. So why is there still a taboo on this subject? Why is there a stigma about psychic problems while almost half of the adults in the Netherlands suffer from them?

Get help

You are not overreacting. It’s not your fault. Your are not stupid. You are not alone. You are not a burden. Talk about your problems! NiceDay wants to break the taboo on mental health problems. Join the online community or connect with one of our NiceDay-coaches via the ‘NiceDay-app’. Together we can beat it!