Everyone has had a nightmare at least once in their life. An bad dream from which you suddenly wake up. Your heart is beating fast, your sweating and you feel anxious. Sometimes it takes a while before you realise where you are and that the dream wasn’t reality. But what do you do when the same dream keeps on occurring? In this article I’ll explain a certain technique that can help you release yourself from the nightmare. This technique is frequently used with people that deal with a posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but is also very effective with recurring nightmares. 

What does your nightmare mean?

Scientists, philosophers and psychologists have been examining dreams for centuries. We now believe that during your sleep, you process the things that happened during the day. When you are triggered during the day on past negative events, or when you experience uncomfortable things during the day, you might get a bad dream during your sleep. But because the dreams feel so lifelike, they ignite a lot of fear and stop you from processing. On the contrary, your fears can increase and you can end up in a vicious circle with many sleepless and restless night as a result. Reason enough to try and get rid of your nightmares!

Write down your nightmares

The technique I’d like to discuss is called Nightmare Rescripting, or rewriting your nightmare. It works like this:

Step 1: a good start is half the battle

Pick out a quiet moment, take something to write on or open a document on your laptop or pc. Think about how your nightmare usually begins. Write down this first part, but stop writing when it becomes uncomfortable. So, only write down the first part of your nightmare. For example: “I am entering my living room, it is dark and cold. When I walk towards the lamp I feel a cold breath in my neck.”

The first part is now noted, good job! This was the most difficult part of the exercise. 

Step 2: you are the director

Now imagine you are the director of your own movie and that you can totally rewrite the old and scary script to something completely different. A story in which you remain unharmed, in which help is on its way, in which you can fly away or in which you can shrink or freeze your attacker. In short, a story in which you survive. A story in which you are no longer the victim but the survivor, a hero or heroine. Use your imagination, you can even use violence. And if it scares you to be on your own, ask for help from others.

Think about your continuation. Look for something that suits you, something you can imagine.

Some people find it hard and indicate that it doesn’t seem to be right, that it was entirely different and that it’s too far from reality. Try to calm yourself, nightmares aren’t reality either. They are reflections of emotions or thoughts that can’t go anywhere, but you are free to rewrite your nightmare into something else. This time you are in control!

Step 3: read your own story

Reread your story after you finish it. Insure yourself that this feels right. That you feel powerful and safe when you image being in this story. 

Each night, try to read the story a few hours before you go to bed and put a print of the story on your bedside table. People who have tried this method state that it seems like the brain recognises the beginning of a nightmare, and connects it to the new story. 

Keep trying

No succes yet? Try to adjust the story a little bit and see whether you can read it right before bedtime. 

Did you still have a nightmare? When you’re capable, try to read the new story again. People who try this notice that they can fall back to sleep a little faster. 

Were the tips mentioned above unsuccesful? Discuss this with your practitioner. He or she may be able to further support the treatment, or medication can be considered.

Sweat dreams…

I am currently in the process of healing my mental illness. I have had therapy for over four years, but only now I have the feeling that it’s really working. Why now? Because I have opened myself up. My inner voice told me that suffering is finally over. It is time to tackle the problem at its roots. The roots of my mental illness cannot be cannot and will not change by only ‘chatting’ about it on a weekly basis with my therapist. Complaining doesn’t make me feel better. I found out what it takes to get better though. I call it the way to healing.

Opening up

It is essential that you open up. You have to get to a point where you find out that you have to confront that place inside you where you have stored your painful memories. You do this by opening yourself up to all the toxicity that comes with it, allowing and trusting that you can handle this. You have to take the time and feel all of the emotions and the pain. Preferably don’t do this in your own room. What if it gets too much and you lose yourself? Your therapist can help you stay focused. Or otherwise a good friend who knows you well can help you with handling the emotions.

Realisation

During the recovery process there comes a point where you realise where the pain exactly comes from. You realise what it’s all about. It will hit you extra hard and it can bring all the bad memories and emotions back. Believe me when I say that it’s no fun. But what I have learned in the past few months is that emotions have a rise and a fall. This means that you won’t be walking around with that grief forever. When the tears and the pain are released, the sadness and the painful emotions will slowly fade.

After the realisation

Then comes enlightenment. You can breathe again and you feel free. Free from all weight. At least that’s how I imagine it. I have not yet reached this stage myself, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. It will be okay I hope. I hope I can enjoy life again in a while and no longer have to walk around with 1000 kg of heavy luggage on my back. The luggage will only be part of my memories. A drawer in my head in the ‘archive section’.

Where I am now

I am at the stage of realisation. I realise that things have happened in my life that were too much for me to handle as a child. Adult things, something that a child does not yet realise. Awareness and realisation hurts. It hurts a lot. But because of it I understand that it was not my fault back then, and that I was powerless. It is also a kind of liberation. I feel liberated from all the bad thoughts I had about myself. And so I continue. I will continue until I can say I am fully healed.

Love,

Ghyta