My body felt like I was running a marathon, out of breath. My heart was racing. My legs were shaking.

Summer school at Knowmads Business School in Amsterdam, July 2017. I just received the assignment to present something to conclude the week, my week here. Tomorrow I had 10 minutes to bring it.

My head was spinning. I could not measure the outcome. When would the outcome be okay? What should it be about? When was it good? How was it good? What would others do? Do they know? How can I create something without knowing how I would be judged?

I came home late and decided to go straight to bed. I had been here before and I knew that I had to trust the process. It was no use trying to come up with a whole presentation right now, I was tired. Tomorrow I had some time. “Trust”, I said to myself.
But my body did not give in to that. It did not buy my trust story and I did not sleep well.

I woke up nervous. Nothing had changed. I was an anxious wreck. I could not do this. At Knowmads, I sat down at a table. I stared. Things we did and learned this week started passing by in my thoughts. How could things come together? I came back to the now and felt my body and head spinning out of control. This is too much, how can I calm down?

I had no control whatsoever. Or did I?

We had an intense week. This Business school is about you and what you want to put out into this world. That’s why you have to be honest and open. To find what you want to give the world, you must find what you have to give. It is intense.

Thinking about this helped me remember. I remembered one of the things Knowmads is about; Head, Heart, Hands in balance. What I was feeling now, was nowhere near balance! My head was overtaking my whole body and heart. I had to put in more heart and hands.

I decided that I could use this and, finally, I put my head back in its place and had it do what it is good at: supporting my heart and hands.
My heart wanted to tell everybody about the I am one movement and personal leadership. The project I had been working on this week.
But, how could I do that calmly with my body treating this presentation as a death walk? Ah, there come the hands. I decided to do a handstand at the beginning of my presentation. The headstand is fun for me and I do it way to little. This physical activity would be wonderful for releasing my tension and to start with a joyous heart! Personal leadership at its best!
And last, my head would know what to say, cause its my project. I worked on the I am one movement. I know what I want to say.

Quickly I made 3 sheets to support what I wanted to say. My body was still in death walk mode, but I was ready.

I started my 10 minutes with a handstand in front of everybody, I talked from the heart, I made connection and had a clear story. Success!! In so many ways. For me, personally, for overcoming my fear and working around, and with it. For delivering a talk that was really me and had substance. And for making connection. I had all the control in the world, because there were no boundaries to what I could and was allowed to do. Together with Knowmads, I had created space to just be me.

Balance between head, heart and hands is a great tool in personal leadership. If you see yourself using one of the three too much or out of balance, try to stop and wonder what is needed to get back to balance over time. It will help you in so many ways. Not only with giving a presentation, but with everything you do.

Give it try! Good luck!! You are wonderful!

I used to handle setbacks very well. Because there was so much going on in my life, an extra setback did not mean much to me anymore. Negativity became something normal. Every setback felt like ‘just’ the next on the list.

But now that my life has become better again, it is more difficult to deal with setbacks. If it does not go well or something does not go as I would like it to go, it feels like I am breaking down again. I feel down, do not feel comfortable and I get sick. Literally. Nauseous, headache and my body hurts. It is so frustrating …

My job

For example, I do not receive financial support from the Dutch government anymore.  After two years of sick leave, I have to do it alone. I work 3 days a week and I feel like that is still quite heavy. This means that I cannot work 32 hours, as I did before. But I have to work 4 days, because otherwise I will be financially short. Another reason I cannot work 4 days a week is due to occupancy in the company I work for, there is no ‘room’ for me to work the extra hours… This means that I am going to have a difficult time moneywise until I start working 32 hours again.

My body

Unfortunately, my body is still hurting. Nerve pains in my back, pain in my neck and my muscles seem to be a lot stiffer. This does not benefit my mood.

School

I do not want to fail on school, since that is one of the few things I have influence on. I don’t look forward to the exams and I absolutely do not settle for grades below 7/10. That also gives stress, because I notice that I am actually too tired to study.

People around me

Fortunately, I can talk more easily about the things that bother me. About school, about the things I experience or when I doubt myself (for example my weight or about being too old to go back to school). My mother tells me that she is proud of me because I chose to go back to school. And that she is proud of me for being stable again after therapy. And also my father and partner let me know that they support me and want to help me where necessary.

But still it is hard for me to deal with setbacks. I hope I will find a way to let go and not let mistakes influence me so much. But for now, unfortunately I am not there yet and I try to see it as a point of improvement. Who knows, maybe that helps already.

This week’s song is Tell me you love me from Demi Lovato. Sometimes these words are necessary, if you do not feel good about yourself. Financially I have a hard time, I still have to go to school for another 2 years and I have issues. It is nice when someone tells you that they love you as you are, despite of everything. I know that actions speak louder than words, but the words are sometimes just as necessary as the actions.

See you in 2 weeks! Love, Renée x

Deadlines make us happy! In many magazines, web blogs or advisory sites about working well, I read that deadlines are an effective and efficient way to be productive. They would encourage us and give us energy.

But the thing I see is that we are making ourselves crazy all the time – and that we are  fooled – with the idea that ‘getting the most out of life’ is good for you. When we meet, we always say: “Hi, how are you? Yes good, well, busy. Oh that’s good; yes, I am also busy. ” Having your calendar well-organized and in check, your time efficiently managed, means you have a good life. It is a perfectly heard ideal. Yet, that we want to get the most out of our lives is particularly good for employers. That is not ridiculous, because they benefit from effective and efficient employees. But whether it is good for us remains a forgotten question.

In the media they always sell it so nicely:

The big advantage of working with deadlines is that you stay in your momentum, because you constantly work towards the next point and you are under pressure, you can not afford to let your head hang and pace down; perform and pushing through is becoming a necessity instead of a need. (Winst.nl)

Who would not want to stay in his momentum and look forward to the next point on your To-Do list? Letting your head hang down? No, we want to push through because we want to show how motivated we are, to ourselves and to those who are important to us. Preferably under pressure. Yes, yes, who doesn’t want that?

The power of a deadline and the adrenaline rush that goes with it is motivation for them. By setting a deadline yourself, you can get the most out of yourself in a short time. (Intermediair)

A deadline, so we are told, creates momentum, energy and motivation. It is a good carrot-and-stick, or is it just a stick to hit us? Did we trade the whip for a nicer sounding idea? No, no, a deadline just encourages you to make a tight schedule, say the work gurus. That makes your boss’ (sorry: your!) life a lot more pleasant. And so we eagerly take over new ten commandments, in the form of 5 tips, 7 tricks, or 10 do’s & don’ts.

Obligation is called willingness
Let’s try to be honest: a deadline is simply an obligation. An obligation imposed on us by someone else with power. Let’s not make it more beautiful than it is. But of course these days we do not want to experience it like that. Life, and therefore also working, must be fun. We prefer to create an ‘optimistic’ language; instead of the oppressive ‘obligating’ we like to say and hear: ‘motivating yourself’. After all, we see ourselves as autonomous individuals with our own free will. As people who do & don’t because we ourselves wish it so. That works better than realizing that someone else imposes it on us, obligates us. This is how willingness is replaced by obligation, while it goes on under its old name.

And is it really that effective? As long as we continue to believe that we want it ourselves, and as long as we accept it as a matter of fact, we like to put our best foot forward. Driven we show how effective and efficient we are. After all, we are proud to work as if we are the CEO of our own lives. The fact that we at the end of the day drop worn-out on the couch, drinking a wine before bed, eventually getting a burn-out or falling into a depression, is a private problem. And, well, after a weekend of meditation, yoga or happiness festival – payed for by the boss – we can start afresh again. Do not let your head hang down. Stay in your momentum and meet your deadlines energetically!

Values Compass
That we have to do (sorry: want!) every possible thing, follows from the enormous high expectations we have of life. Especially the new generation is maddened by the infinite possibilities that life has to offer, by the idea that you can become anything you want to be, that the chances are up for grabs if you plan your activities well. Why do we want all that?

Because we all need recognition and appreciation. Recognition for our exceptional commitment and performance. The kind of beauty we have made and the special person we are. Nobody wants to be a mediocre cog in an unseen way, in an organization that only pursues its own interests. Personal values, goals and meaning form the compass with which we determine our actions and set our standards.

Values are much more important than the so called motivating carrot-and-stick. Instead of accepting new ten commandments, I prefer to ask myself the most important questions first. Questions like: Why do I really want this? What is really important now? Why do I actually have to meet that deadline? Who really expects what of me? What fair values lei behind it? Are these my values or those of the other? What are the consequences if I do it and what if I do not? And what do I think of that?

In the end it’s more about why we do something and less about what we do; because we have to do it anyway.

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I worry about myself. I look pale and have dark circles underneath my eyes. I look tired. When I look into my eyes, I miss the shimmer. I laugh, but it is only my mouth that smiles, not my eyes. And when I look at myself for a long time, I tear up. I get ashamed and look away. I cannot handle the confrontation.

Bottle up
I have been in therapy for over two and a half years now. The moment I started with therapy, there was so much pain and sorrow bottled up in my body. Yet I could not get into it. With my current psychologist, it took more than a month before I started talking about what happened to me. I will never forget the session, I cried for the first time. I sat on a chair and I thought: just let is all out. That was the beginning of many cry sessions. Crying makes me feel better since it helps to process and the tears take away a bit of tension. At those moments I do not want to be comforted, but I do want to have someone in the same room as me.

Something completely different is the feeling that I have during and before I start crying. I call it my inner pain. I feel pain in my chest and tension that I want to release. It makes me nervous. I wobble with my legs and bite on the nail of my thumb to reduce the tension. I feel this pain when I do not speak out my feelings. When I eventually speak out the tears  start to flow. During the crying, the inner pain first intensifies, but after a while it weakens. Knowing that it will weaken makes it easier to let myself cry Yet it remains a big obstacle every time to let those tears go. This pain scares me.

Acceptance is key
The result of not allowing inner pain and tears is the feeling of emptiness. Feeling empty is even worse than feeling sad. The moment I feel empty, I know that I am not doing well. It means that it is time to take a step back so that I can get in balance again. The text below describes exactly how I feel when I have blocked my emotions for too long (appeared on @gelukkigdepri).

My skeleton embraces the void in my body. It is black and can not pass through. Sometimes, when the black wants to come out, it hurts. It presses my chest and my stomach. I want to fight against it, but the black does not allow it. It makes me gloomy, influences my thoughts and makes me feel less worthy. Sometimes the black even tells me that it would be better if I did not exist anymore. It scares me. It makes me lose control over myself. Will the black ever disappear? Will I ever find myself back again?

I have to accept that it is not bad to cry and to feel pain. To heal, you have to go through this phase. I am getting better and better in feeling emotions and to actually feel the pain.

It are the first steps towards freedom!

Quote with this story: Feel the thing you do not want to feel. Feel it and be free.

Love, Ghyta

The definition of happiness, according to the dictionary, is: ‘favorable course of circumstances’. This means that, in order to be happy, you have to experience a favorable course of circumstances. Sounds doable. But when are you able to consider yourself a happy person? Are you happy when you experience happiness?

There are a variety of tests that determine whether you are happy or not. There are also several psychological articles describing the circumstances and events you must experience in order to be  happy. Yet this kind of happiness is not explicit enough, for example being able to enjoy the little things in life is not included in this theory. If I think about it now, I can consider myself a happy person. I have a nice family, nice friends, I have a job and a house. I have many hobbies that I can enjoy and soon I will go on holiday. But do these things make me a happy person? Happiness is in my point of view a very difficult concept and not so easy to describe.

A lot has happened and changed for me in 2017. Although it is difficult to let go control and break routines, I knew that I needed to do that in order to be happy again. My relationship ended, I moved and started to live alone. In addition, I left my current employer and started to exercise again. Although some of these points may have been hard at the start, eventually I started to see them more positively. I had underestimated the power of exercise for a long time. I often felt too tired, did not want to leave the house and thought I did not have the strength to train. I slowly started to pick up working out in October 2017, I started running again. As a kid I used to do a lot of sports, I really liked triathlon training. A sport where you swim, cycle and run and all of that in a row. Now that I was picking up working out again, I realized how much I missed it.

Working out is addictive. I used to train a lot in the regional selection and I really enjoyed it. I was never not in the mood to train! Also, I do not feel well physically when I cannot exercise. I do not feel fit and I feel disappointed when I look in the mirror and see my fit body slowly disappearing. I miss the feeling of satisfaction and enjoying the nature. So last October, it was time to choose for myself and I started to work out again. And you know what!? It worked. Slowly I started to feel better and fitter. I started to love myself again!

Of course, happiness is more than just that. And if you have a depression, it is very difficult to enjoy the little things. It is very difficult to see the positive, if you only experience negative things. Nevertheless, happiness can be found in the little things. Since I started to exercise again, I experience more positivity. And that is not surprising at all, during sports, you activate different neurotransmitters, some of which contribute to your happiness level. Research has shown that running can have a positive effect on your mental health, so it is ideal for people who suffer from depression. I also have experienced that running, or exercising in general, helps.

Next to starting to work out again, I also have new work, my fitness level increased and I will leave for a training internship in Lanzarote in a few days. Of course, exercising is not a magic pill, but it certainly contributes to your happiness. I also have off days and sometimes I feel like I am losing it. But then I try to teach myself to look for positive things. I think of the things that I do have and how grateful I am that I can, for example, exercise and that I have learned so much in recent times. And do not forget, even people who do not suffer from depression have their down moments. Every person has setbacks, but that is not bad at all. Setbacks make you stronger!

Love, Sharon 

… to the other! Five weeks ago I was asked to speak at the opening of the Digitale poli: the event to celebrate the collaboration between Parnassia (PsyQ) and Sense Health (Goalie, now NiceDay). I doubted for two minutes, I really do not like speaking in front of a group. But on the other hand it was so special that I did not want to say no!

But what was so special?
I was asked to speak as an expert and patient during the official opening of the cooperation between (Sense Health) Goalie (NiceDay) and Parnassia. What an honor! So after those two minutes, I came to the conclusion that I just had to do this. Otherwise I would definitely regret it.

The preparation
My friend Lisa (from Goalie, now NiceDay) asked me if I wanted to participate (she is also responsible for the fact that I blog for NiceDay!). When I got used to the idea, I said yes. Firstly because I was honored that she asked me, and secondly because I could use this opportunity to give something back to Goalie (NiceDay), after all the help I received from them.

After I returned from Norway, we sat around the table and talked about how it will go, so that I knew what to expect. Also, to give me the certainty that I would be ‘protected’ as a patient they told me that if for some reason it did not feel right anymore, that they would break it off discreetly. And that I would be assisted if difficult questions come up from the audience.

The night before was awful. First I fell asleep on the couch because I was terribly tired. From 4AM to 6:30AM I nauseously stared at the ceiling of the bedroom to wake up three hours later aware that it was really going to happen today.

The announcement
I was invited to come a little earlier so that I could already take a look at the room that was set up for the presentation. I already knew the place because of my treatment at PsyQ, so that was very nice. The room was nicely decorated and small. But unfortunately so many people kept walking in! More than I expected! I spoke to myself encouragingly: it is going to be OK, I can do this!

The first 45 minutes of the presentation were organized to discuss the idea behind the Digital poli, what it is and how it works. The insurers who support the cooperation were presenting as well. Then it was the turn of the practitioners! I knew that after these ladies it was going to be my turn, so luckily there were no surprises for me!

Speaking
“And now I would like to give the floor to Renée”. That is all I hear, for a moment I am  stunned. Put that step forward Renée, you can do this! That goes through my mind and it takes me forever to take place next to the therapists, under an overwhelming applause from the invited guests, I introduce myself. I explain who I am, that I had a burnout, that I have struggled with PTSD and anorexia, but that things are going well for me now. That I study again and have a job for 20 hours a week. After an unanimous “Oooooh” and applause it almost gets too much for me. But I know how to take control over myself and naturally continue to say everything I wanted to tell. Without a cheat sheet, without stuttering. I cannot believe this is happening!

After my story, there are still a number of questions from the audience. For the practitioners who stood next to me and for me. There was also a question about the treatment. One that I thought I had to answer. And I did. At first I was a bit shocked, but then I thought: go for it, I can answer that! And in the end there was a little surprise for me: after I had spoken and wanted to take place on the sidelines again, I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers as a thank you gift.

After
The Goalie (now called NiceDay) team overwhelmed me with compliments. It was very much appreciated that I was there. Two guests came to me almost immediately after the presentation and expressed their appreciation to me. They usually do not talk to a patient in this way, so also for them it is a unique experience.

And I got more compliments like this. After some drinks I went home with a good feeling. I am proud of myself, without a doubt. And relieved that my anxiety is influencing my life less. That I do what I like and that I can enjoy it. Also the difficult things.

The song of this week is: Conquer the world of Jessie J. Together you are strong, I experienced it again. My partner, parents and friends have ensured that I gained  enough self confidence for this day. And half an hour before the presentation everybody send me sweet messages. Also the people of Goalie (NiceDay) supported me. Thank you! This way I want to wish Goalie (NiceDay) the best of luck! I trust that it is going to be very successful.

Love, Renée x

“You are just very sick Ghyta.” It is the beginning of September 2016 and I walk to the GGZ institution’s elevator gasping for air. The words keep going through my mind. Am I sick? You are sick when you are in bed with a flu, I am not sick at all!

Depressed
It is 2018. This is officially the third year of my depression. It took me a long time to accept it. Only a handful of people used to know that I suffer from depression and I wanted to keep it that way. When I used to go out, I put on my mask. I smiled and just went with the flow. Once at home, I took off the mask. Then I started to feel blue again. That is when I started to feel very sad and wanted to spend the rest of the day in my bed.

For a long time I continued like this, with all its consequences. I pushed myself so hard to be able to continue to function normally, that, at some moment, it was impossible to keep it together anymore. I had to take a step back before I completely collapsed. Taking a step back was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Because I am not like that at all. It therefore felt like failure. Failure to myself… Or actually to the stern voice in me that was constantly present, and that sometimes still is. Failure to my mother because I can not finish my bachelor within three years. Failure to the society that demands so much from me. We live in a society based on performance. We must strive for the highest possible. We must always keep going. But not everyone is suitable for this kind of society, as a result of which, among other things, burn-outs and depressions are becoming more common.

Taboo
It took me quite some time (read: two years) to accept my depression. Accepting is step one in the recovery process. At least, that is how I experience it at the moment. I am more open about it and dare to say the word ‘depression’ out loud. In the beginning I used to tell other people that I am not feeling very well at the moment or that I was having some struggles with myself. But those ‘struggles’ were already a major depression. To be very honest: I still do not tell everyone about my depression, however giving it a name is better than just running away from it. Something that helped me a lot lately is my insta blog @gelukkigdepri. On this blog I occasionally write thoughts and poems about the emotions I experience. In this way I can park it as it is, so that I can focus on motivating activities. Now that I became more open about my depression, I can see that a lot of people are not. There is a big taboo on depressions. However, depression is a disease and you can recover from it. What makes it difficult is that it is not visible on the outside. You can not show it with a plaster on you head or a bandage around your leg. For this main reason I started writing: so that more people, with whatever kind of mental illness, dare to talk about it without being ashamed of it.

On the NiceDay blog I will open my soul and tell you about my road to recovery. In addition, I will occasionally share my personal obstacles. Of course there will also be room for (hopefully) inspiring and positive stories.

Quote of the month: A better me is coming.

Love, Ghyta

Two weeks ago I was on the verge of a new adventure. A week touring through Norway in an old timer. Everyday would be different: a different route, a different hotel and new assignments. Scary!

The beginning
The boat trip was a good warm-up. It was a great way to get to know the group. There was beer and there were no assignments yet, so everyone was relaxed. We went to bed early, since the next morning we had to wake up early.

The assignments we would get were the scariest for me. I did not know what would happen, except that there would be crazy, frustrating and tricky assignments for which I would have to get out of my comfort zone.

The assignments
To give an idea of ​​the assignments, the first thing was: drive your oldtimer into the showroom of the brand’s dealer and take a picture. We arrived at the Ford dealer, it was a very fancy one so we had to ask the owner by forehand. I was really nervous, but we did it and it was so cool!

Also, I had to try on a wedding dress and video tape it saying: “Yes Huib, I do!” The man was part of our group and married for 19 years. At the end of the day, everyone had to hand in their video. To give you an idea of ​​how difficult it was to accomplish: 7 out of 9 teams did not have women in their team and at a bridal booth you have to schedule an appointment by forehand.  

Another assignment was that we had to ski behind the car. That is so difficult when you are with only the two of you! One on skis and the other person driving the car and filming.

These are just a few examples of the assignments. Next to the assignments we also had to solve Norwegian puzzles.

The days went by very fast
On the one hand, the days were long, but on the other hand the days passed by so quickly. We spent about eight hours in the car everyday. We could follow each other through a tracker so occasionally we took a coffee break together and enjoyed the view. It was so nice and hilarious to fulfill the assignments together with the other teams, like skiing behind the car. Fortunately, we still have the videos!

Accountability
The only thing I disliked about the trip is that people told me that my partner was following me so much. It almost felt like I was obliged to explain that he was doing that for me. That he was not following me, but that I was clamping onto him. He was my only stable factor this holiday. But did I really want to explain this to people who I did not know that well? After two days of pondering, I decided that I did not have to tell them. Fortunately, S. thought the same and he was OK with people thinking that he was ‘sticky’. I was really relieved that it did not matter to him.

How I look back on the week
I am very proud of myself. A year ago I would never have done it. I was afraid of new things. I believe it is a really big step for me, another step in the right direction. I could not have done it any better. I went, even though it was easier to stay at home. I had so much fun, just as I hoped. And I did the assignments how I wanted to do them and have no regrets! I could not have had a better week.

A lot of people supported me. Not only my partner, but also my parents, my dear friend R. and my girlfriends J. and M. I even miss Norway, it is so beautiful there.

The song of this week is Trying not to love you from Nickelback. I heard this song a couple of times when we drove the car. It is a beautiful song and I tried not to fall in love with Norway. Happened anyway.

And maybe another nice thing: my partner and I did not fight in the car, we are sitting next to each other on the couch as we speak :-). I think this holiday made us even closer because we really took time for each other. I am looking forward to our next experience!

Love, Renée x

‘’This is an open letter to everyone I disappointed by not showing up, not calling back, not answering, not emailing back, lying about that I will, and not being there when you needed me.
I understand your emotions and thoughts about that. I feel them too. Disappointment, frustration, anxiety and maybe even anger.
I understand you for letting me go, not giving me a second or a third or a tenth chance. I understand you for not trusting me anymore, for closing your heart and friendship a little.
I want you to know that I am sorry I disappointed you. I know I did not have the intention to. But I also know, that sometimes that does not matter.
I want to thank you, if you are still here. If you stand by me. I know our bond could be deeper and better. And I want to give us that.
I am going to”

I wrote this letter some time ago. It represents one of the harshest struggles I have (had) with the reality of borderline, depression and anxiety. Communication.
Letting chances go by, as I lay in bed, not wanting to be a part of this world, not feeling I can do anything right or be anyone’s friend. Letting people down because I am suddenly blocked and unable to communicate. Letting anxiety and overthinking stop me from doing even the littlest things.

But, as I keep learning more and more about myself, I grow. I try to be more kind to myself. To see the whole me. To be loving and accepting.
I started to create space. Space in my life and in my head. More time and patience for difficult times and feelings, more time and patience for learning about me.
Space for what I need, for what I want, for how I feel, for what I believe in.
You have to decide, you know, that you deserve to take up space. To be here. To be you.

The struggle to communicate, for me, has its roots in fear and denial. Sure, depression and anxiety keep you from doing and wanting things, and that is real. But denying that you are feeling this way and being afraid you cannot act happy or normal whilst communicating with others, leads to not communicating even more. The moment I accepted that I feel this way sometimes and that I was allowed to feel these things, I was less afraid of communicating with others.

I have also noticed, that the more and time I give myself, the more I have for others. Well, maybe not more, but better. Better quality. More realness. I have decided to be real. And to share that with the people around me. To be honest about how I am doing and what I am feeling. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.
Giving yourself space is also about making decisions. Decisions about whether or not I want to communicate with someone, to be part of their life or project, or anything. I learned that not everything and anyone can have your attention or affection. If I want to have quality interaction; I have to choose. Only then, I can have space in my life.

And only then, I can make my intentions align with my actions; to answer, call back, email back, to show up, to not lie about how I am doing, and to be there for another.

Stay true and kind to yourself and others and most of the time your actions will align with your intentions. Which is a wonderful thing to practice.

You feel sad, do not get anything done and feel totally listless. Maintaining friendships is difficult, even getting the trash out can be already too much. You visit a therapist, the conversations are good and it helps. However, it does not get you moving.

Your therapist tells you to start running. And although it might be good for you in the far future, right now you do not feel like it at all. ‘Running? I cannot do that! Even going to the shops is too hard for me!’ ‘I look so weird when I run.’ ‘I drink and smoke too much to run.’ And so on, and so on. Totally understandable. However, in this blog post I am going to convince you that it can help you. Really!

Running therapist
Last year I started Run Free Groningen, my running therapy company (link: www.runfreegroningen.nl). The goal of running therapy is to use running to reduce depression or burnout complaints. I already worked as a coach for people with stress or depression complaints, but it was mostly focused on talking. I wanted my coaching to be more practical. I experienced that running (and exercise in general) helps to clear my head. I am sensitive for burnout, stress and (winter) depression myself. I used to feel sad, without even knowing why. But when I started running and successfully hold onto it, I realised that I did not only get physically stronger, also my mental health strengthened. I felt better, free and stable! And because of this, I started to help other people too.

Why does it help?
Running and exercise will help you on three levels: psychological, biological and physical.

Psychological:
It strengthens your self esteem; you can be proud of yourself for going outside and doing exercise. If you do it multiple times, you can start pushing your boundaries.

Next to that, you shall notice that you will have less space in your head for worrying. You will feel like you are clearing your mind.

Biological:
Working out and exercising produces hormones that will make you feel better, like endorphin. It is like a natural medicine. If you start running more often, you will notice that those hormones do not only get produced during, but also after you run.

Physical:
Your fitness level increases, you get stronger and you will feel better: the physical effects of running. This feels great! It brings extra motivation and self confidence.

And you can do it too!
Right now you might think: ‘nice, but I cannot run.’ But I am sure that you can (If you are physically healthy and do not have any injuries).
Everybody who starts the journey thinks it is scary. However, everybody goes home happy and satisfied, really!

Do you want to try it by yourself? These are some tips:
1. Start at the start, your start. Do not start running for half an hour like your life depends on it. You will get injuries if you start off too fast. Your body needs to adjust to the movements. Also the chance of failing is bigger when you start off too fast. Run slowly and walk in between. Download a beginners plan on the internet and do not go into the distance yet.
2. Again: run slowly! I will tell you again, because I notice that people often find it difficult. When people think of running, they think of sprinting. But you do not have to sprint! The longer you train, the faster you get.
3. Ask for help. A running therapist can help you along the way and has a lot of experience and knowledge about running and depression. You learn how to breathe well and several techniques that help you to hold on longer. Also it will give you the motivation to actually go.  After awhile, you can get started by yourself.
4. Run together with a friend. It is more fun and you can motivate each other. Make sure you are on the same level, otherwise you will still go ahead of yourself.