It was a long day. When I get home I think to myself, “I am completely done with it.” But what is ‘it’? This day? Or is there more causing this feeling?

My dreams

When I was about six years old, I sat at the back of my mother’s car on a Wednesday afternoon. We drove past a high school. Every time we passed by, I told my mother, “I’ll go to this school later.” I do not know why I wanted to go to that school. However, six years later I ended up in that high school. I was in a mixed havo / vwo class for the first two years of high school, after which we received advice about which level suited best. I wanted to go to VWO, which eventually worked out. In the field of career I also knew exactly what I wanted to do: working in the legal world. This too came true. After high school I started my Bachelor’s degree in European and Dutch Law and in a few weeks I will have my bachelor’s degree. But … is this it? Is this how I want to continue the rest of my life? Always thinking what I’m going to do something and let this come true? Do I want that? Because sometimes it feels like a boring routine!

The final exams

When I was eighteen, I had the final exams. I was so happy when I finished them. After this, two nerve-racking weeks followed. I had a dream the night before I got the results. I dreamed that I was talking to my grandmother who passed away. She told me that I did not succeed. I remember that I asked her if I could change anything about it, but she did not answer to this. Then my dream turned into a different dream. I ran across the street and a bullet hit my shoulder. I passed out and I fell on the floor. Then I woke up. Somehow I knew I did not pass my exams. Around 14:42 my mentor called with the news that I had to do a retake. I had to get at least 8 out of 10 to still succeed. Long story short: I had to do the last year of VWO again. This too had an influence on my mapped life plan. I could not start my law studies yet.

My depression

When I was twenty, my life colored grey. I got depressed. I could not accept it and so  continued to study. However, ‘studying’ consisted of being physically present in the lectures and working groups, however mentally I wasn’t there. Studying was more difficult due to lack of sleep and concentration problems. There was a day that I visited the study advisor to make a plan for the upcoming last year. I would do it in two years to reduce pressure. Again, my whole plan got ruined and I had no control over it.

And now?

Now I am twenty-three, and I want to change myself. Making career is not the only thing that life is about. I will not find the ultimate happiness in my work. It is very nice that I will have my diploma and a nice job, but if I am not happy myself, what kind of value ​​do that diploma and that job have? Exactly. Nothing at all. Never again do I want to catch myself on the question: is this it? Instead, I want to say with a smile: this is it.

Nothing will work unless you do – Maya Angelou

Love, Ghyta

The numbers from Statistics Netherlands (CBS) show that women are more likely to suffer from psychological problems than men. In 2014, 14% of women said that they are suffering from psychological complaints. For men, this percentage was 9%. For this reason, for example, depression is often labeled as a woman’s disease. But is this statement correct?

‘Do not nag’

How could it be that fewer men are reported with, for example, depression? An explanation could be that men have imposed certain rules on themselves. Many men, think  that they should not show weakness and that they should not be vulnerable. Many men are also afraid to express their emotions and therefore, asking for help is something that is rarely done. ‘Do not nag, you’re not a sissy’ and ‘Just keep going, I’ll feel better later’ are thoughts that often haunt them.

Depression or heart problems?

Women visit the psychologist or a social worker more often than men and it is therefore not surprising that the numbers show that women suffer more often from psychological complaints. In addition, women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression, while men are referred to a heart specialist for the same symptoms (for example palpitations and restlessness). Finally, men and women deal differently with their complaints. For example, women notice certain physical changes more quickly and seek help rather than men.

Get rid of the taboo

When it comes to our mental health, many people, and especially men, find it difficult to seek professional help. The fear of being labeled as incompetent and weak is strongly present. How do we break this taboo around having psychological complaints? Talk about psychological problems! Even if it is a big step to make, try to talk about it with your environment. Choose a counselor from your work or from your circle of friends. You will notice that there will be more understanding for you than you might have expected. You can also go to the doctor, he or she can refer you to a GGZ institution or a psychologist in your area. Click here for more information.

‘No health without mental health’

NiceDay

Do you have trouble discussing your feelings with others? Schedule a NiceDay event to have a conversation with a confidant (a friend or relative) and try to discuss your situation. Write in your NiceDay journal how this was for you, how it went and what could have gone better.

I walk down the street. People are passing by. I see a group of tourists taking a picture of the church. I see young girls shopping alone for the first time. I see men chasing their girlfriends whilst holding their bags. Do they see me? Can they see that I suffer from depression? They can probably  feel it when they look into my eyes. The world is running, society is doing what it has to do. In the meantime, I want to press pause. It would be so nice if a pause button actually existed. Then I could just relax, only with myself. I could place the chaos in my head in order, without missing out on life. It is not fair that my depression wasted three years of my life.  

I walk down the street. I see a toddler running after a couple of pigeons. His mother is videotaping it. The toddler is having so much fun. I remember my own baby photos. The first photo I think of is one where I walk around the house wearing the sunglasses of my uncle and the shoes of my aunt. How did my mother feel when she made that picture? Did she ever think that her daughter, who was then a year and a half old, would get depressed later in life? Had she ever imagined that that big smile would disappear?

I walk down the street. It is dark outside and the lights are on. I look at the lamp posts and see that one of them is off. It is broken and must be replaced. My lamp post is also broken. Sometimes it blinks, but the blinking is mostly only of short period of time. I have already tried to repair the light in various ways. The first repairman analyzed the problem and figured out a plan to fix it. Yet the repairman did not manage to turn it on again, it was harder than it seemed. He called an even more skilled repairman, but he also did not get my lamp post back on. Together they found out that it was the wiring. All wires are mixed together, causing tension with short circuit as a result. The mechanics must call in the help of an even more skilled repairman to get my lamp post lit again.

I walk down the street. It is still dark. I feel tired. I want to lie down on the ground and not think about anything. My head is filled with cotton wool. Words go through my mind, but I cannot form complete sentences. I want to scream. I want someone to hear me and listen to me. It burns inside me, but nobody can see it. I want to run away, but my feet are nailed to the ground. Helplessly I look around, but people are in a hurry. They do not even see me. I turn around and continue walking.

Love, Ghyta

Last year I was part of an event called Last Man Standing. An initiative of the nonprofit organization MIND. Together with 100 other participants, I endured 6 hours of standing on a pole of 20 cm by 20 cm, in a lake, with a lot of wind. An endurance challenge to visualize the waiting lists in Mental Health care. I never expected to make it to 6 hours, but I did! Together with more than 80 percent of the participants. And when you step off that pole you realize, that with a good cause, a group of motivated people, music and support from the shoreside, you can achieve great things.

This year I will participate again. This time for a mentally healthy youth (MIND YOUNG). Another great cause. Because, whether or not you struggle with something, it is important to know, when you are young, that you can talk about anything. With someone. Without taboo. Without fear of disapproval. Without being seen as weak.

Puberty and young adulthood are, in itself, already turbulent. There are so many things happening, so much to learn, to see, and to experience. So many things that can influence you and so many things you can be. So much to choose, so much to fit in to, and so much to resist. To become your own person is quite the challenge for our youth and their surroundings. But it is a natural process of becoming an adult. And most of us make it to the other end, with a lot of fun too. But still, a lot of young people also will not make it or will not know fun.

My development into adulthood was roughly disrupted by Borderline. An emotion regulation disorder. I could not cope with all this turbulence. I did not know what to do anymore. My emotions became my enemy.

My puberty and young adulthood were dark and hard. A few times I wanted to give up. I did not believe in life anymore, or in that things could be well or were going to be okay (despite how many times people told me they would be). My emotional pain was so intense that I preferred physical pain as a distraction. My life, and clothing style, was black. I wanted to disappear. I did not understand who I was, where or with whom I wanted to fit in, and how this thing called life should be lived. I was consumed by worry, fear, pain, anger and especially desperation.

But that did not show. I finished my gymnasium and 3 college degrees, and started a successful management career. I had friends and played sports. But it often felt empty inside, as if I was not totally there, as myself, living life. And I was tired, so very tired. I did not dare to share this with anybody. Just carry on, I thought. Carry on. Survive.

I still have Borderline. But I am way more than that now. I know who I am. What I am good at, what I like, what I need. And it is so much more than the disorder. You know  what is beautiful too? When you start being aware and taking care of the whole person you are, you see that small part of you that once defined you and your life, become smaller and smaller, and manageable. I created space for myself and in this way created more peace and overview. I can be myself now. Now that I am somewhat older (36), I have a lot more overview, I understand better how life works and how I can relate to life in a more peaceful way.

At age 32, I started 18 months of Mentalization Based Therapy. A therapy especially for Borderline. It benefited me greatly. I am lucky that I could and was able to work so much on my struggles, eventually also with help. And this is when I also realized what I had missed when I was younger: support, love and professional help. The period that you need it the most. Especially when you struggle with your mental or physical health. And that is why I recon Last Man Standing and their cause to be so important. The more information is shared and the more we talk about it, the sooner our youth will dare to talk about their struggles too, and the sooner they can get help. I want this out of the taboo and stigmatization. I want more understanding, knowledge and openness. And I want more tools for recognizing mental health problems; for families, at schools, and in groups of friends. And for ourselves. The sooner we know something is not right, the more opportunities we get to create better quality of life and lights at the end of the tunnel.

Last Man Standing will take place on June 23rd at the Markermeer. I will try to stand for 6 hours again. And you can also participate! You can register at www.doemeemetmind.nl (click on ‘ik wil meedoen’). You can participate with my team or start your own team. My team is registered under ‘Team Bouwke’. You are very welcome to join!

“You are doing well. You’re on the rise!” People said around me. Enthusiastically I pressed the buttons of higher and higher floors.

Indeed, lately I feel good and see that my life, according to the social norms, is heading in the right direction. I started exercising, I finally have a steady relationship, and I teach more courses. People are happy for me and I am also very happy for me as well! But alas, if things are going well, I want more. Then I want a ‘normal life’ like everyone else that has no disability.

My spring courses had almost come to an end and I dreamed of organizing an extra course on my own. After all, I was doing well, so why not? Organizing some activity is unfortunately not my strongest quality and it cost me more stress than I had anticipated. But at the time I didn’t want to pay any attention to it. I kept going, because I was on the rise.

A few weeks before the start of that course, fear hit me. Already a couple of times I woke up anxiously, but still I ignored it. The stress continued to increase and in the end I thought: do I really want this? Is this really good for me? On a whim (or was it a firm action?) I pressed the emergency button of the elevator. I canceled the reservation for the location, emailed everyone that it did not go through and made my apologies. A burden fell off me and I could breathe again.

Now the central question is: have I acted well? Did I take good care of myself this time, or did I let myself be guided by my fears again?

Identify stress in time
That remains difficult. I suffer daily from anxiety and stress. But sometimes it is clearly worse. At times I wake up in the morning with a shivering body as if it were electrified. Even this, though, I’m able to ignore. I think that I have to be strong and should not nag about it. The signals can also be more unclear. Then my days become increasingly chaotic. I do everything and nothing at all. Those days can last for a long time, but in the end it gets me down.

So the question is: When do you signal stress in time?

Weighing the signals
You can detect stress or other signals in time, but then you still don’t know how to react to it. This time I didn’t ask myself well enough how serious the signals were. I said to myself: “Ah, dude, tension is part of it. You can handle this!” In the end, I woke up in sheer panic. Only then did I realize that I had previously weighed the signals too lightly.

So the question is: How burdensome and urgent are you signals?

Much on my plate
As I said, if things are going well for me, I want to do more and more, to be more like people without a disability. Then I take more on my plate. I forget, however, that I only have a little plate to fill. Naturally, it is not a good thing to drop everything when a bit of stress and anxiety hits me, to protect myself excessively. In that case I would let myself be governed by fear. Conversely, it is also not smart to pretend that I can handle everything. Then in the end the burden will put me down as well, even worse. The question I should ask myself is whether I can really handle the stress and fears which come with that activity.

So the question is: How much is good for you?

The price I want to pay
Ignoring and underestimating signals has a price. Taking on an activity also has a price. Overestimating signals and doing no more activities also have their price. What does it really cost me and what does it bring me? So I have to wonder what the real price is and if that price is a good price for me. It is not only the question whether I can afford it, but also whether I want to pay that price.

So the question is: Which price do you want to pay?

Endless wavering
Looking back at my decision, the burden of giving a self-organized course and the stress it gave me, does not outweigh the pleasure and satisfaction that I would get from it. If I am realistic and mild to myself, I shouldn’t want to pay that price. So, in this case, it has been a good decision to press the emergency button! Of course, it remains a laborious and uncertain compromise between two extremes of too early & too late, of too light & too heavy, of too little & too much, and of too low & too high. But be on time to signal the stress and ask yourself what it’s all worth to you and what price you really want to pay.

Walking across the street you see the guy who tried to hit on you in the pub. Quickly you hide behind a bush because you are not ready for the confrontation. A few days later you see him again, again you hide behind a bush so he can not approach you. But after many successful avoidances, you could not avoid him anymore: you are chatting with a friend and suddenly he taps on your shoulder.

This fictional story represents the topic that I want to talk about today: avoidance. This is something that I am an experienced expert in. The boy in the story represents the emotions with the associated pain. The bush stands for avoiding confrontation and chatting with a friend represents an enjoyable activity.

There are those days that you just do not feel well. The days are long and you have to drag yourself through them. Moreover, you are confronted with negative thoughts and the accompanying emotions. On a scale of 1 to 10 the gloom is 10+. To protect yourself, you focus on other activities such as sports or gaming. In my case, avoidance was full of plans, especially during the day. During the week I made sure that I was either studying or working. At the weekend I met up with friends or went to parties. In this way I did not have time to think about everything that was going on inside me at that moment. At those moments I did not have to feel my emotions and therefore did not allow them. It felt so good! I got the illusion that everything went fine and that I was doing a good job. However, after two weeks this got too much for me. The sadness, the anger and the fear tapped on my shoulder and could no longer be avoided. I collapsed completely and it took longer than those two weeks of avoidance to get back in balance. I had to face the confrontation: now.

I now understand that avoiding your emotions and even a depression is not the answer. It will just get worse. At times like now, things sometimes go wrong and I catch myself that I am avoiding again. The difference with a few months ago is that I can recognize it. As a result, I am not avoiding two weeks, but ‘only’ two days, so that I do not collapse completely. When I notice I am doing it again, I tell myself: stop and think, is this the way you want it to be? Avoidance does not help, it only makes things worse.

It is difficult to unlearn something that you have been doing for a long time, but if you really want to get better, you have to break through those patterns. That will go by trial and error, but the result will be more than worth it.

Everything that drowned me, taught me how to swim – Jenim Dibie

Love, Ghyta

From the moment we were back from Norway, S.C. started browsing the internet. He often looks around to find something nice. Tools, engines, oldtimers. And I join him now and then, because he always knows where to look. And it speaks to me too. Tinkering, an old-timer. It would be so wonderful to crawl behind the wheel of such a car!

As a little girl
For as long as I can remember, I have loved cars and motorbikes. As a kid I sometimes joined my father to work on Saturdays, he works at Ford. I helped him polish cars in the showroom or wash the cars with the mechanics outside when the weather was good. I always enjoyed being between the tools and the smell of oil and gasoline. I also liked to go on the motorbike with my father or grandfather. I still remember a very warm ride to Scheveningen. I was on the motorbike with my neighbor and my step-sister with my father. Biking through traffic and in leather pants on the terrace. It made me feel so cool!

When my father started to build his Westfield (kitcar) in the garage, I wanted to come along. When I visited the garage for the first time I was overwhelmed with what was there. And when the body of the Crafter was loaded, I was amazed to see that it had fit. When I think back, I get a smile on my face.

Then the first time I was allowed to drive in that Westfield, it gave a real kick. When we had a drink at the pub, we got quite some attention from other people. A nice car and I, as a little lady, behind the wheel. My father and I even laugh about it today. I think he was and still is a little proud of his daughter who is crazy about cars.

Now it is my turn
A few weeks ago I received a message from S.C .: What do you think about this car? We looked for it on the Internet a bit and I ran into some nice things. We then sent some cars back and forth and suddenly he said: I am seriously looking, then soon you will have a car to ride when the weather is bad. Okay, so we’re looking for an oldtimer?! Unfortunately I did not get him crazy enough about a Ford Mustang. But before I knew it we were visiting our first potential oldtimer. A bright orange Opel Ascona. But unfortunately it needed too much work, so we did not get it. The next one Opel Kadett, S.C. also did not like it. So we also left this car for what it was.

Then I got a link via Facebook. I looked at the photos and read some information. S.C. said: Do not mind the colors at this moment, I think that something really beautiful can be made of this. So you guessed it, a day later we spent almost 2 hours in the car to get there and take a look.

We were enthusiastically received and when I saw the car, I tried to imagine what it would be like painted and with the seats in place. Because now the car has three colors, only the steering wheel and the engine block in it (even the windows are in the trunk!) It looks very nice, but I’m not trying to be too enthusiastic because I’m not the one who has to work on the car to get it proper again. I see something about S.C. his gaze and have the idea that he also sees it. We agree to have contact with the owner the next morning. And on the way home we both get enthusiastic. We can certainly make something beautiful out of this.

It is time!
The next morning I get an app: I sent a message that we want to take the car. I am of course close to jumping through the roof. The current owner has a hard time selling the Opel, he has the car for 7 years now and drove it a lot. During the retrieval last Wednesday, I also noticed that he was emotional. But we have ensured him that we will take good care of it and that we will keep him informed of the progress. In addition, we had to promise him that we will come by when the car is ready. Of course! The car ends up well and I am finally going to learn how to tinker!

Last weekend we started packing all parts safely. The car is now almost completely empty. Now we are going to circle all unevenness so that everything can be made even. Then the tinkering and dyeing starts. From red to pink! Because yes, I was the one to choose the color. Fortunately, S.C. already suspected that it would then be that color, I did not even have to say it. I had to laugh about that. He knows me too well!

This is our new project, I am really looking forward to it and can not wait until it is finished! M. thanks for your trust in us. We will make something beautiful out of it and come by when it is finished.

The song of this week is: Summer nights by John Trevolta and Olivia Newton-John. This song fits with the image I have on the finished car: a pink Opel Kadett from 1968.

Love, Renée

22:30 I am in bed, but I still have to brush my teeth. I walk to the sink half asleep. I watch myself in the mirror, I look very tired. Will I take a sleeping pill tonight? I decide not to. Hopefully the sleep gods are with me tonight.

22:40 Finally, I am nice and warm in my bed. I set my alarm, because the next day I have to go to college. I turn off the light and close my eyes.

23:15 I am just turning around to find the right sleeping position, but I do not succeed. I pick up my phone and put some music on it. I listen to the lyrics of quiet ballads.

00:10 Slowly but surely I do not hear the lyrics and the music anymore. I press pause, put my phone away and turn around. Finally I am falling asleep.

2:30 I feel that my deep sleep slowly turns into a light sleep. I wake up and look at the clock. Oh my god, why am I awake? I still have four more hours to sleep… If only I had taken that sleeping pill!

2:42 I put my hands on my stomach and close my eyes. I inhale quietly and slowly exhale. I do this until I get into a daze again and can resume my sleep.

4:10 I wake up after a dream. It was not a nightmare, but rather a very realistic dream. I have to orient myself for a moment and I wonder if my dream is a sign of a sad event. What if it has already happened?! My heart starts to beat faster. I try to breathe quietly so my heartbeat goes down.

4:45 Will I take that sleeping pill anyway? I decide not to do it, worried that I will sleep through my alarm clock if I do.

4:50 – 6:00 A short period of light sleep follows. I am fully aware that I am lying in bed with my eyes closed. But I do not fall asleep. Meanwhile, my thoughts go back and forth. I must not forget to email my boss. What day is it today? What will I do today? What shall I wear today? A dress or just a pair of jeans with a sweater? And so it goes on until I get mad. Where is that button!

6:10 I finally fall asleep again, but the sleep is short-lived because in twenty minutes the alarm goes off.

6:30 I wake up with the sound of my alarm clock. I press stop, and turn around again.

6:55 I wake up again. I have to get up NOW, otherwise I will be late! Shall I just not go to college? I can also study the subject myself.

7:10 I get out of bed and go to the shower.

When I come home I immediately go back to my bed.

When you feel you can not sleep – Fix you by Coldplay

You have heard me say it multiple times before: try something new. It is fun and it can make you feel passionate about something. Getting away from your daily obligations for a while. I feel this way this during motorcycling and dancing. Putting the busy life aside to enjoy the moment.

But sometimes things get on your path that you do not see coming. When I met my current partner, he said he is a fanatic cyclist. I did not care that much about cycling, so I told him that I would lie in the sun until he would be back.

Give it a try
But then there came a day when he said: “Oh, honey, come here.” He handed me a bike during a weekly dinner with my in-laws. And it was the start of my biking experience.

The bike was of my father-in-law. It was too big for me, but it was good enough. I thought it would be nice to try it, just to see if I liked it too.

The first ride
I was completely ready to go and accustomed to the idea that I would go cycling. My very first time on the bike! Nervous and a little bit uncomfortable, I step on my bike and cycle behind my partner. A little anxious, I look at the thin tires… worried that the tires will get stuck between two tiles, and that I would off my bike.

After the first five kilometers I realize that this is actually quite nice. I have no idea how it will be in 30 kilometers, but we will see! We cycle through the dunes and I start to relax and enjoy it more and more. I forget to drink some water on the way, so after half an hour I start to feel a little dehydrated. But this did not spoil the fun.

Worth repeating
When we got home, I did not feel that tired. I actually had a nice time. I can feel the freedom on the bike that my boyfriend told me about. And like this, I can broaden my horizon and also work out. I was so enthusiastic about it that I jumped on my bike the next day again. But this time I went alone, again for 30 kilometers.

A big surprise
After a few times, it became more and more fun. My partner and I were having dinner with my mother one day and I heard him say: I am going to get something for Renée tomorrow, but it is a surprise. I had to wait for two days, but when the moment was there I was so surprised! He gave me my own bike!

The bike still needed a lot of adjustments, but that did not stop the enthusiasm. Next season I can use my own bike! One that is tailor-made and also completely to my liking.

Two weeks ago I could finally start biking on my own bike. The weather was awful, so the first kilometers were hard. The bike is not big, the wheel is not too far from the front, which works perfect for me!

I took a beautiful route along the water and through the fields together with S.C.. I told him that I did not want to cycle for 50 kilometers, but you guessed it: after 55 kilometers we were finally home. To give you an impression; that is two and a half hours of cycling !!

Slightly grumpy I ask him why we cycled that far. The answer was: because I know you can and to build up until 85 kilometers.

Training for the good cause
Last Monday the weather was great. So I went cycling on my own. A beautiful route along the water, around Schiphol, through the fields back home. A new passion was born, even though I did not even like cycling at first. The enthusiasm of my partner has been contagious. So contagious, that I am now training to cycle the Tour de Rotterdam. A ride to raise money for research on cancer. As you know, my father is ill, this is why I am going to cycle for him. If everything goes well, I might be fit enough to cycle a bit longer. But I will see. Now first I want to reach 85 kilometers!

The song of this week is: OK from Ilse DeLange. A wonderful song, the song gives me the same kind of energy as when I am on the bike. Thank you honey, for introducing me to the world of cycling. Something we can do together and I really enjoy. I love to share this with you! Cheers to a good season with lots of kilometers!

Love, Renée x

The monster called PTSD has a tight grip on me lately. I feel reared and want to run very fast to get the tension out of my body. My mind is in the past while my body is in the present. I am afraid of every little thing: a door that suddenly opens, a car that honks or an unexpected sound. I feel like I am constantly on guard and ready to flee. I experience PTSD in combination with depression as very tough. When both are present, it feels like an impossible fight against two big monsters. They only have to give me a little push, and I am down. That is what is happening at that moment. I feel completely disorganized and above all, I forget everything since my thoughts are somewhere else. I am more quiet than normal and do not feel like talking. I prefer to be alone and listen to music so that I do not have to face the past. Yet I know that I should not give in to those monsters. But actually doing that is something else. At these moments I should ask for help from the people around me, yet I do not do this. Do you recognize this?

Asking for help is difficult
Asking for help can be difficult if you are not used it. Sometimes I forget that I do not have to face things alone. Social support is so important when you are having a hard time. I wonder why I find it so difficult to ask for help from people around me when I am in a bad place. Is it because I am ashamed? Am I ashamed of having two mental disorders? This is partly true. I want to be open about it, but at the same time I am ashamed to talk about it. Do I not ask for help because I do not want to burden people? Yes. This is completely true. I prefer to solve my problems myself instead of talking to someone about it. But, deep down in my heart, I want to tell my story when it gets too much to handle. I faced this problem recently. There was a moment when I had to ask for help. After worrying about it a lot, I finally did it and it felt very good. I did not have to face my feelings alone anymore. I also noticed that the other person did not mind it at all. She really liked to know what is going on inside me. Together we discussed how she could help me and what I like and what I do not like. In this way, asking for help felt natural!

What I want to say is: asking for help in difficult times is OK! You are not alone. There are plenty of people who want to help you, in whatever way. Often you know very well who you are and whom can help you. It is good to have a safety net with a few people that you can call / app / mail, etc. for when you can not handle it alone anymore. You are only human. And unfortunately, we do not have super powers to make the difficulties disappear. So ask for help! You do not have to do this alone.

I do not feel very much like Pooh today,” said Pooh. “There, there,” Piglet said. “I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do. – from Winnie the Pooh from A.A. Milne

Love,

Ghyta