One-sided relationship

Thank you for your question! I will try to provide an answer to your question and offer some advice.

It sounds like you feel there is an imbalance in the relationship, and this has been present or increased over time. In a relationship, it's incredibly important to have a sense of equality. Equality is different from, for example, a balance between dominant-submissive or introvert-extrovert dynamics. Someone might have a very dominant partner but still be treated equally in a respectful manner. Equality means feeling that you are taken seriously and seen and treated as the person you are and want to be.

Looking at your story, you've been trying to address the imbalance in the relationship for some time, but so far, it hasn't been successful.

• Try to make something important to you equally important to your partner. This means that you can expect your partner to take it as seriously as you do. Don't be immediately discouraged if you don't get the reaction you expect. It may be that it wasn't clear to your partner how important it is to you. The moment you let something go, it gives the impression that it wasn't important enough to persist.
• Be clear in your communication. For instance, explicitly state, "I want to discuss this and it's important that you take me seriously. I want us to discuss this until we are both satisfied. Even if it's less important to you, I need you to make it important for me."
• Be clear in your expectations as well. Within a relationship, there is also a balance between household chores, childcare, attention, sex, etc. If you are not on the same page, it's important to talk about how you can find a middle ground that you are both satisfied with. Make it concrete, and perhaps make it a recurring topic if you are both searching. A relationship requires active work!
• If these attempts fail, for whatever reason, it's always a possibility to seek professional help. Relationship therapy is intended to address and change these kinds of difficulties.
• Of course, you always have the right to end a relationship. When expectations in a relationship clash, or when you are not willing to treat each other with enough equality, it might be that you are simply not compatible enough.

I hope this helps you a bit on your way!