Balancing work and personal choices

Question
Vraag

Hi, I am experiencing stress at the moment because I have to put my personal choices above my work. I am very loyal to my job as a teacher and enjoy my work a lot. My family recently asked if I could arrange time off for a surprise party. I think the surprise party is an incredibly nice idea but I feel incredibly bad if it means missing a class. Sometimes my family gives me the impression that I don’t try hard enough to arrange time off and are quick to say that I just can’t make it. This too makes me feel annoyed. I am not sure how to handle this better in the future.

 

Answered by NiceDay Psychologist Wouter Schippers
Answer
Antwoord

Thank you for your question. This is a common dilemma and I will try to help you. First of all, we often see that our values combined with our great sense of responsibility are central here. If we think things are important, we are often afraid that we will fall short if we take a step back. After all, we always want to do things perfectly. Unfortunately, this is not always possible, and when such a dilemma arises, it can cause anxiety and make us uncertain about our choices. 

  • Anxiety causes us to assume the worst and is a very normal reaction. You can read about anxiety here: https://niceday.app/en/library/anxiety/general-anxiety-information/the-emergence-and-normalization-of-anxiety/ 
  • Anxiety related to our sense of responsibility often makes us think we are something negative. For example, a bad employee or friend. Thinking this makes you alert to your actions and can help you make the right choices; you become cautious. When faced with a dilemma, however, you will have to make a choice. Try dwelling on your thoughts and examine the truth or helpfulness of them. It may help to imagine a colleague looking at your future with the same dilemma and the same fears and thoughts. What would you advise?
  • Keep in mind that a choice is not permanent. If you decide to choose family instead of work, it does not mean that you abandon work forever. Even making a wrong choice is not a bad thing, because you have room to learn from it and compensate if necessary. You are allowed to make mistakes, you are only human!

In need of some support? We are here to help