Everyone feels insecure from time to time, you probably do too. But some people suffer so much from insecurity that it affects their daily life. If you feel insecure, you may, for example, have doubts about whether you’re doing things right or whether you are good enough. Insecurity is a broad concept and can be expressed in different ways. You can be insecure about your performance at work, about your appearance, about your social skills, about certain purchases and so on. Some people are better at disguising it than others, but the fact is that everyone is insecure at some point, and that takes a lot of tension and energy. How can you best deal with feelings of insecurity and make sure they do not get in the way of your happiness?

Invisible insecurity

You probably know the standard image of someone who is insecure, namely the type who literally and figuratively keeps themselves in the background. The interesting thing is that someone who is in the foreground and throws their knowledge and skills into the fray can be just as insecure! So someone can appear to be dominant, and at the same time be insecure. Many people have a certain urge to prove themselves in order to get approval from other people. The urge for approval from others often comes from a place of insecurity.

Allow insecurity

It may sound strange and vague, but your insecurity is allowed to be there. You don’t have to suppress, deny or ignore these feelings. If you resist your feelings, they will only take up more space. Rather, stand still for a moment and think about how you feel and observe what is happening inside of you. What are you thinking, what do you feel and where in your body do you feel that? By paying attention to this, instead of suppressing it, it will start to consume you less. By dwelling on it for a moment, you hit the pause button, so to speak, and you are less likely to get caught up in a negative stream of thoughts.

Normalise

If you feel insecure, it can be helpful to remember that everyone in the world knows how you feel. You are not alone in this, even though it can sometimes feel that way. To find out that you are not alone, the following experiment can be fun to do:

Ask your friends/partner/family members if they have ever felt insecure and if so, about what. Ask everyone to name different situations in which they have felt insecure and reflect on what they are currently feeling insecure about. By talking openly with each other about this, insecurity will be normalized and you will eventually value it less. You will realize that you are not alone and that everyone suffers from this from time to time. This way there is more compassion and understanding for others and yourself!