You’re feeling unhappy, down, maybe even bored or depressed. You can’t quite find that spark of excitement or pleasure that you used to have for life. Maybe a couple of things on the horizon give you some hope, yet each day feels like a grind to get to the next. And you can’t quite figure out what’s wrong. Everything’s going okay… right? In this blog, I will look at what it means to live a fulfilling life. Why that can be key to reignite that spark for the life you once had and what you can do to work towards a more fulfilling life.

Reflection

Persistent feelings of gloom, a lack of enthusiasm, or boredom can be an important signal to reflect on your daily life. It may indicate that you are missing something of value in your day to day! How much time are you spending on the things that are important to you? Do you do something each day that you value? What is important to you at the end of the day? What gives you fulfilment and makes you feel good about yourself?

A Fulfilling Life

Being fulfilled is defined in the Oxford dictionary as: ‘’satisfied or happy because of fully developing one’s abilities or character’’. Feeling fulfilled is therefore not necessarily about filling your life with rewards, pleasures or luxuries (although that is of course also sometimes needed). Instead, it is about doing things that make you feel good or proud about yourself as a person, in both the short and long term. 

Similarly, it is also not about reaching an end goal, a moment of achievement or accomplishment. Rather it is a process! A process made up of daily acts that give you a feeling of satisfaction and reward. While accomplishments can contribute towards a feeling of fulfilment, a fulfilling life includes both the victories, failures, pain and joy that come with this process.

“Why do you run?”

An analogy I heard once that stuck with me, is that if you ask a devoted gym-goer or runner why they work out and what keeps them motivated, they’ll rarely say that they wanted to lose XX amount of kilo’, or achieve a specific lap time for example. Rather, they will tell you that they enjoy it and that it makes them feel good physically and mentally. Thus, they get satisfaction from the process itself rather than just the end goal and it makes them feel good about themselves. 

In short, finding fulfilment is about living life with meaning and purpose, which gives you the energy to start each day. So what can you do to feel more fulfilled? 

Finding fulfilment

There is no formula for fulfilment. What gives one person fulfilment may not for the other. Fulfilment does not come from what you think you should do, expectations or what society says is good or admirable. The beauty of it is that you determine what you value and what gives you purpose.  

What are your values?

Having a clear understanding of what you value in life, is a vital stepping stone to living a fulfilling life. Knowing your values and living in line with your values can make a big contribution. Values are not ‘goals’ and can never be accomplished, but rather they are things that are important to us in the present moment. Are you not quite sure what your values are? Ask yourself some of the questions below.

• What is important to you? 
• Who do you admire or look up to and why?
• What makes you angry or causes you distress? If we assume that distress is largely caused by having our values trampled on, what values were being trampled on in that instance?
• If you heard two friends talking about you, what would you like them to say about you? 
• What would you like to be remembered for? 

Committed action

After establishing what you value, the next step is to take committed action in line with our values. Russ Harris defined committed action as: “taking larger and larger patterns of effective action, guided and motivated by our values”. Committed action is about actively (not just passively) living in line with our values, despite the obstacles and difficulties that we may face. 

Is family important to you? Make sure to make time for your family in your life. Do you value adventurousness? Find ways to incorporate this into your week to week or daily life. For example, actively living in line with a value of generosity may mean donating a percentage of your wage to a charity, or regularly helping out at the local homeless shelter. It is important to try and incorporate the things that make you feel good into your life as often as possible, even on a daily basis where possible. 

Step out of your comfort zone

Boredom can easily fester when you’re used to living the same days week in and week out. Stepping out of your comfort zone means to do something different, to push and challenge yourself. Although taking the first steps out of your comfort zone can be difficult, even scary, it can be a greatly rewarding experience and one that allows you to grow as a person. Being able to regularly step out of your comfort zone is a vital skill in leading a fulfilling life. 

Finding fulfilment can sometimes be a challenging experience. Nonetheless, it can be greatly rewarding, help you to grow as a person and add that spark back to your life again.

Would you like help to find fulfilment from a professional? You can find out more about online or blended treatment via NiceDay at www.nicedaynederland.nl