Why do I keep searching for confirmation?

Thank you for sending in your question! I will give you some explanation on this matter.

Humans have a kind of reward system in their brains that gives pleasant feelings (via neurotransmitters) in certain situations. You can think of winning a competition or laughing with a friend, but also using drugs or gaming. Situations that go through that system can therefore have an 'addictive' effect, as it were. Social contact, positive appreciation and sex also go through the same system. You could classify this as 'attention addiction' or 'sex addiction'.

Addiction is often related to withdrawal. Withdrawal causes stress and anxiety. It is a person's natural response to reduce anxiety. And let the substance (drugs, gaming or sex) give 'rest' again. It also shows that it is often about being able to deal with or endure unrest and negative emotions.

What can you do?

• Get help! You are not the only one with these kinds of complaints. These kinds of complaints are often accompanied by a lot of shame. It can help to check the Internet to see how many others have it and what they are doing to get help.
• Consider your response to anxiety. To what extent are you able to deal with certain emotions? Can you tolerate restlessness? What exactly feels so unpleasant when you allow it and don't act on it? Good emotion regulation is an important foundation.
• Talk to loved ones and ask if they can help you. It can't be a bad idea to get professional help. There are several organizations that specialize in this type of complaint. You are not alone!

Good luck!