Sexuality

Hi Janne,

Thanks for your message. It is very important to reach out for support and talk to someone when we are struggling with something. You mention that you and your boyfriend are becoming more intimate in your relationship but that you are not very comfortable with it at the moment. This has led to doubts about your sexuality.

It is very normal and healthy to question your sexuality and talking about it with other people can help you to work through these questions and process them more effectively. Do you know someone else with who you would feel comfortable talking about this and would be open to it? Then it may help to bring up the subject. If you don't feel comfortable with this or it is not enough you can always consider speaking to a psychologist, they can help you to work through the questions you have. You can find more information about finding a psychologist here.

You also mention that you do not enjoy it unless you are really into it. In relationships, it is important to do what feels comfortable for you. Communication here is key. If you are not feeling comfortable with something someone does it is important to be able to express your needs and set some boundaries with this person. Boundaries help you to indicate to another person what your needs and limits are in the relationship, what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by them. By setting boundaries you establish your own identity, while also creating an environment for your relationship to blossom. It can help to make a plan if you are not confident in setting boundaries.

You may find these articles helpful:

• https://niceday.app/en/relationship-stress-set-healthy-boundaries/
• https://niceday.app/en/am-i-asexual/