I am insecure

It's really great to see you looking for support and someone to talk to! It's very important that we talk to others about the things that are bothering us, so well done!

You said you were bullied in the past and now you feel very insecure about yourself. I'm sorry to hear that! Seeing and understanding where your insecurity comes from is a good first step to overcome this feeling. To help yourself feel more confident, think about when and why you feel insecure:

• Do you feel insecure in certain situations?
• Are you concerned about anything in particular?
• Do you have certain negative thoughts about yourself or others?

Once you know the situations in which you feel insecure, you can take a look at what thoughts or concerns you have. Then try, instead of those annoying and negative thoughts, also to come up with other, more positive thoughts. It's normal to feel insecure from time to time. As humans, we tend to be preoccupied with negative things and are often very hard on ourselves.

A fun exercise you can try to feel more confident is to write three positive things about yourself in a journal every day. This can be anything: something you are good at, something you like that you did or what happened and what good you did today, for example, something you are proud of! This can help you feel more positive about yourself.

Another thing you can do is think about how you talk to yourself. We can often be quite hard and strict with ourselves. Try talking to yourself as you would to a good friend who might be having the same problems! What would you say to her? Try saying that to yourself!

You also indicate that you have the experience that other guys only use you for your body. I am very sorry to hear that and I can imagine that this does not make you feel good. As a teenager you are currently going through puberty, this is a period in your life when your body goes through many changes. Puberty is a different experience for everyone and every girl is different. We all grow and change at our own pace, so your breasts may grow faster or slower compared to your friends. At this stage in your life, you and others may be more curious about these changes than usual. Try to associate with people who make you feel nice, comfortable and safe and who you can also talk to about your concerns or experiences. In addition, it is of course also super important to be clear about your boundaries; don't do things against your will because you think someone else expects you to! If someone does or says something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it's important to tell them and a responsible adult who can help you with the situation.

2. You told me that a boy you like is now dating another girl and you really want to get over him. Romantic relationships (or dating) can be very important to us. As a result, we often feel many different emotions. When someone breaks up with someone or if you see someone you like with someone else, it can make you very sad. But, know that it's perfectly normal to feel this way! Getting over this person can take a while and it's good to be patient with yourself. Try to experience all those difficult emotions you may be feeling, don't put them away. Sometimes it helps to write down your feelings in a journal. It is also good to occupy yourself with other things that you enjoy and that make you feel good during this period. Do you have a hobby? Or do you have a nice friend with whom you like to hang out? Make sure you find the time to do things that make you happy!

3. It is normal to feel down and sad from time to time. As I mentioned above, during these times it's important to be with people who make you feel safe and comfortable and to talk to them about how you feel. Also, just keep doing the things you normally enjoy doing! If this period of feeling this way lasts too long, it's good to seek help from a professional. If you would like that, I advise you to contact your doctor. He or she can help you find the right help. Of course, you can also contact the Kindertelefoon! You can also talk to someone via the children's telephone. https://www.kindertelefoon.nl/.

I hope these tips have helped you, good luck!