Doubts about my relationship

I'm sorry you're so confused by this situation!

We have many different feelings and they can be quite overwhelming at times. Some feelings are compatible with each other, such as pride and joy. Other feelings are less compatible, think of happiness and sadness. Fear can also often push positive feelings aside, making them less noticeable.

For example, what you often see in people with a great sense of responsibility, is that they can quickly doubt themselves, about relationships, feelings, their responsibility, actions and consequences. The question "Do I actually love my partner?" can sometimes even be very frightening for these types of people. Because this gives fearful feelings, the euphoric feeling of 'loving' is absent and they have doubts about whether something is wrong and whether they need to solve it. They feel responsible for the other and feel guilty. Every time there is a trigger to think about that person, it gives more fear, which only pushes the positive feeling away further. That seems to be similar to your situation.

What you can do is the following:

• Try to think back to the first moments when you started to like her. What were the reasons for that? What did she do or say that made you feel that way? What did you think about that made you feel that way? What do you find special about her? Write that down for yourself.
• If you find yourself in doubt or feeling bad, ask yourself the following questions: "If I felt differently, would I think differently? And if so, what?" or "Is something really wrong or is it just my gut trying to tell me I need to fix something?" or "Am I overestimating my responsibility and part in this situation? Or am I overestimating the seriousness? Am I underestimating my ability to solve this or do I really need to solve this?".
• Express your feelings to each other! If anyone can understand your feeling right now, it's her. It's scary to be honest with each other, but if you've built such a good relationship there will be no reason to fear. Share your feelings.
• Something that might be reassuring to say to yourself: Sometimes a feeling is just a feeling and sometimes a thought is just a thought. It doesn't have to mean anything and you don't always have to do something with it. Sometimes letting it be there is enough to make it go away.

If you notice that your current complaints are becoming unbearable, I would like to advise you to seek help. Would you like to know more about treatment via NiceDay? Click here for more information.