Rules for living

The experiences you’ve had in the past have a significant impact on how you perceive things and how you deal with them in the present moment.

Rules for living are formed at a young age during periods when they are useful. For example, as a child, you might learn to do everything perfectly because that’s when you receive recognition and approval from your parents. Rules for living are a kind of survival strategy. However, later in life, these rules can become hindrances. For instance, the rule “I must do everything perfectly, or I am worthless.” It’s not realistic to do everything perfectly, as we all make mistakes, and when something goes wrong, you tie your self-worth to that failure, leading to negative feelings.

In this overview, you can see various different rules for living. You may recognize several of them. There are also some positive rules to inspire you.

1. Only if you’re good-looking, rich, and smart, you can be happy.
2. Happiness is more related to my self-image than to others’ opinions of me.
3. If I make a mistake, I’ll be less valued.
4. If I don’t always do well, people will think less of me.
5. Even with small risks, you need to be cautious, as it can lead to a major disaster.
6. You can be valued without having to do anything special for it.
7. If I do something well, it’s just luck. But if I do something wrong, it’s usually my fault.
8. Asking for help from others is a sign of weakness.
9. I am inferior if others are better than me at something.
10. I am a failure if I don’t do well at home or work.
11. If you’re not good at something, you shouldn’t even try.
12. Making mistakes is good because you can learn from them.
13. If someone disagrees with me, they don’t like me.
14. When something happens to me, I should be in control of it.
15. If people see my true nature, they will think badly of me.
16. I am worthless if my admiration and love for someone are not reciprocated.
17. Even if you don’t know how something will turn out, you can still enjoy it.
18. Before starting something, you need to know if it will succeed.
19. It’s important to please everyone.
20. If I don’t set the bar as high as possible, I will end up badly.
21. Being valuable requires being outstanding at something.
22. People with good ideas are worth more.
23. If I make a blunder, I should be upset about it.
24. What I think of myself is more important than how others see me.
25. Only when I help everyone who needs me am I valuable.
26. I seem dumb and worthless if I keep asking for things.
27. Receiving disapproval from important people is terrible.
28. Without someone as support and refuge, it’s easier to become unhappy.
29. I don’t need to rush myself to achieve personal goals.
30. I don’t need to get upset immediately when humiliated.
31. I find it difficult to trust people because they can hurt me.
32. You can’t be happy if others don’t care about you.
33. You must sacrifice yourself as much as possible to please others.
34. If you often consider yourself, you’re selfish and bad.
35. I don’t need attention or approval from others to be happy and cheerful.
36. Problems will disappear on their own if you don’t pay too much attention to them.
37. Even if I miss certain things in life, I can still be happy.
38. What others think of me is very important.
39. If you’re always prepared for the worst, you won’t be disappointed.
40. Even if nobody really cares about me, I can still find happiness.