Separation anxiety

It's good that you're still working on your personal recovery!

It is understandable that even after therapy you still encounter challenges. The things we have experienced in the past shape how we deal with the present. Our stress system is designed in such a way that everything that hurts (mentally or physically) has to be prevented and/or avoided. This way you learn that a stove can be hot if you have burned your hand, but also that you can't trust all people after being abused. So don't put too much pressure on yourself, this is a process! Let me help you a little bit:

• When we are anxious, we often see forms of control or avoidance. For example, we check the gas or keyhole several times, or we avoid a presentation in front of the class by calling in sick. That seems very functional in the short term because it reduces anxiety. In the long term, it becomes dysfunctional learned behaviour and you can no longer cope without it. If you then find yourself in a situation in which you cannot display the behaviour (e.g. do that presentation otherwise you will not receive a diploma), you can start to panic. Therefore, it's a good idea to consider what forms of control or avoidance you use to deal with your feelings. Then you will have to practice to unlearn this step by step.
• It is important that you do everything at your own pace. Don't go too fast, but try to challenge yourself and step outside your comfort zone. It is a matter of daring and discovering. If that scares you, explore in small steps. Maybe you tend to text right away if your partner is 5 minutes late? Then challenge yourself to wait 5 minutes longer. Do you ask for confirmation every week? Then don't do it for a week.
• Believe in your ability to tolerate stress. Often we assume the worst, we fear that we can no longer have influence, we fear it is unbearable or we blame ourselves. These are all kinds of thinking errors that are part of the stress system. Be aware and try to counter these fallacies after a challenge. Was it really that hard? Did what you feared come true? Were you able to intervene when it did happen?

If you notice that you continue to suffer from your complaints, it may be wise to start treatment again. Anxiety treatments are incredibly effective. You can follow an online treatment via NiceDay in the short term at various GGZ institutions, such as Sol Psychotherapy, MiSi NeuroPsy or PsyQ. First go to your doctor for a referral and then sign up.