Identity and self-image

Thanks for your message. It is very important that we reach out for support and talk about the things we are struggling with. Good job.

You indicate that you feel stressed in social situations causing you to react more slowly to others. You suspect this is due to an event in your past where you were rejected by someone, which still triggers feelings of shame. I am sorry to hear that this is causing you stress.

Feeling anxiety or stress in social situations is relatively normal but when it is affecting you on a daily basis it can be important to do something about it. Negative thoughts, underlying beliefs about ourselves (that come from past experiences), being afraid of rejection or being judged critically can all contribute to feeling socially anxious.

Would you like to learn more about social anxiety?

• https://niceday.app/en/library/social-anxiety-disorder/
• https://niceday.app/en/library/self-image-and-social-anxiety-disorder/

Being aware of some of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs about ourselves is an important first step to coping with the stress. It is important to be aware that negative thoughts about a situation or beliefs about ourselves are not necessarily truths (even if they feel that way) and can be tested and changed. Once we can challenge some of our own negative thoughts or beliefs and come up with more realistic ones it can help us to feel better.

A good exercise can be to practise challenging your negative thoughts. Be aware of your negative thoughts in these situations and ask yourself critical questions about them, such as What are the advantages and disadvantages of this thought? Is this thought helpful? Is there a different view/approach that I haven’t considered yet? What would I say to a friend/colleague, if he/she was having a similar thought?

You can read more about thought challenging here:

• https://niceday.app/en/library/thought-record-anxiety/
• https://niceday.app/en/library/challenging-automatic-thoughts-using-a-thought-record/